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    How to forget a person you love: this is what psychology says

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    Joe Dispenza

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    You stai chiedendo how to forget a person you love, or that for you it was and still is very important but unfortunately for some reason it is no longer by your side?

    Life often confronts us with really tough challenges, and for sure the end of a relationship is one of the most demanding ever. We find ourselves having to stop suffering, get back on our feet and regain the strength to move forward and face the world.

    In this article I want to give you some important tips to better manage your situation, as I have also been there more than once. We will see in particular how do you forget a loved one following a psychology-based approach.

    Let one thing be clear from the outset: it is impossible to erase a person from your head and heart overnight, especially if your love story has been long and intense. However, thanks to this article you will know which are the lines to follow to make the process much faster and easier. I guarantee it!

    How to forget a person you love

    To be able to forget a loved one it is important to follow specific steps, without being in a hurry, and without skipping any necessary steps. Let's see together the procedure to follow.

    Eliminate hope

    When a relationship ends, we sometimes cling to the hope of a reconciliation to cope with the fear and insecurity of being left alone.

    Continuing to hope that your loved one will sooner or later return, once their feelings or external conditions have changed, certainly gives us relief, but at the same time it does not allow us to to fully experience the loss.

    Staying attached to hope is like continuing to postpone the time to face the pain in all its depth, which is also the first and necessary step towards healing.

    So here is the first commandment to follow to forget a person you love: eliminate any hope that your relationship will have a second chance. Fully accept the fact that it's over between you, and that now it's just you with your pain.

    Take responsibility for your pain

    Once you accept the end of your relationship, and eliminate any hope of being able to have the ex back in your life, you find yourself face to face with intense and at times unbearable pain.

    To hold the ex-partner responsible for his pain, blaming him for ruining our life, or for not behaving as he should, is a very common trend and at the same time very dangerous.

    You need to know that when we hold a grudge and act like victims, we are unknowingly preventing painful feelings from taking their course and leaving. We are trapped in an extremely negative condition about which we don't have any form of power.

    While it is true that it is the person we love that causes us to be disturbed, we must also recognize that the power and also the responsibility to overcome the pain resides in us and in us alone.

    If you still haven't been able to forgive your ex partner for something he said or did to you, know that the best time to do it is it's right now. Rather than sticking to the victim role, choose to move on, and free your ex from responsibility for your suffering.

    I know you are in pain, but by forgiving your ex partner you will be able to take control of your situation, and this is essential to being able to move forward successfully.

    All of this clearly applies even and especially if you are trying to understand how to forget a person who has hurt you.

    Process the pain

    At this point it is right to give ourselves some time to mourn the loss, to feel the emptiness it has left in our life and to live the pain to the fullest.

    As I explain in my book, it is indeed necessary to accept the negative thoughts and emotions that appear within us, rather than trying to escape from them. By keeping busy or trying to distract ourselves from the pain at all costs, we would be left with a deep psychological wound still open and bleeding.

    Instead, we must devote ourselves to pain and learn to listen to it and heal it, to disinfect the wound, to make sure that it heals little by little and no longer leaves negative aftermath in our psyche and in our heart. This is the only way to completely get over the end of a love story and forget about your loved one.

    Remember that the greater the pain, the greater the lesson and growth opportunity you can draw from it.

    Carry out a cleaning

    You can't hope to forget your ex or your ex if your entire surroundings remind you of their presence. Photos, memories, objects, gifts… all these things they must disappear from your sight. Put them in a box and take them out of your room.

    Cell phones also have a devastating impact on your mood. I am convinced that more than once a day you check his social pages in search of his news and movements, or re-read your old conversations on WhatsApp in the throes of nostalgia and sadness. You absolutely have to stop doing it.

    Hide, delete or block the ex partner from all social networks and your address book. Delete the old messages that you have exchanged, or at least archive them to no longer have direct access to them. This is an abrupt transition, but in some cases it can be very helpful in overcoming a particularly troubled romance.

    It seems superfluous to say, but I'll do it anyway: you don't have to hear or see your ex anymore. Instead, you have to apply the so-called no contact rule.

    Get your sense of yourself back

    Slowly you begin to feel better, and your life begins to restart. Take advantage of this moment to rediscover your interests and passions. Reclaim your old friendships and broaden your social circle. Throw yourself into new situations and let yourself be carried away by your creativity and your vital energy.

    To forget the ex you have to be able to fill in the empty spaces that he or she has left in your life, but you have to fill them with things that belong only to you.

    At this stage it is important to regain a strong sense of self, and all the activities listed above will help you achieve this.

    Start a new relationship

    Starting a new relationship will be the final step, which will make you move on forever and permanently forget the person you were in love with or in love with before.

    This however is a delicate step, which will only have to happen after you have completed all the previous ones, as engaging in a new relationship too early could be one of the most wrong choices ever for your happiness and your ability to love. You would end up facing a new disappointment, and it would cause a lot of pain in both you and the new partner.

    So what is the right time to start a new relationship after a love disappointment?

    The answer may seem counter-intuitive: when you feel that you can do without it because now it is quite comfortable even alone.


    Let us now examine some particular situations. If you find yourself in one of these cases, keep in mind what you have read so far, and integrate it with the considerations I am about to make.

    How to forget a wrong person for us

    When a relationship ends but you are still in love with your ex, the tendency to idealize your partner and believe that that could have been the story of our life is anything but rare.

    If, on the other hand, you have arrived or rationally arrived at understanding that the ex partner is not the right person for you, you must know that you are in a decidedly privileged situation compared to many.

    It will be easier for you to fully accept the end of your story, and get on with your life, but there may be a complication you need to stay away from ...

    If you keep leaving a door open for your ex, hoping that he or she will change sooner or later, finally making a fulfilling relationship possible between you, you need to understand that your way of doing things is keeping the pain alive along with hope.

    I know of several cases of people who have been carrying on toxic relationships for years, waiting for a partner to change that it never came.

    People can change, it is true, but in most cases it is not worth waiting for them. The change we are waiting for may take too long to take place, or indeed it may never happen.

    In any case it is something out of our control, so as soon as we realize that a person is not the right one to be by our side, we must leave without hesitation. The future version of ourselves will be grateful to us.

    How to forget a person you see every day

    If you find yourself wanting to forget a person you see every day, my first advice is to change round of friendships, in order to avoid contact with the ex as much as possible. If you work together or have the same social circle, don't be afraid to abandon the old to meet the new.

    Starting dating new people, changing jobs, or abandoning old, untrue friendships can only do you good.

    If you go to school with your ex, or feel that it would be nearly impossible to avoid the places they go to, accept the end of your relationship and tell them clearly. Tell him you're okay now, and you think breaking up was the best choice for both of you.

    By doing so you will refuse to consider yourself and to be considered by everyone as a poor victim, and you will take the first step towards a new and much more dignified reality for you. You will begin to condition your mind on the fact that you are strong and you don't need the ex. Soon you will also be able to forget him, ignoring him, or starting to consider him as a person you previously loved but now you no longer care.

    In many cases, following this strategy will also be able to make him come back to you with his tail between his legs. If you're interested, you can find a lot more about it in my articles on how to get an ex back or how to get an ex back.

    Thank you for reading this article of mine on how to forget a person. I hope it was useful to you!

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