How to fall out of love with a person: 8 tips that work

How to fall out of love with a person? How to stop loving someone who doesn't love us? Is it possible to do this quickly?

Unrequited loves, or more generally, love disappointments, are never pleasant situations to live on your skin, regardless of your age or the number of couple relationships that have already been overcome previously.

In fact, many people are unable to accept the end of a relationship, as they still feel strongly connected to their ex partner. Many others, on the other hand, remain trapped in pain for months or even years, unable to fall out of love and forget a love that has ended or never started.

Is this happening to you too?

Don't worry ... no matter how strong the feeling towards the person you love or think you love right now, I want you to know that there are really useful psychological strategies to speed up the process of "falling out of love", and it is my intention to introduce them to you through this article.

In particular we will see like falling out of love with a boy, a girlfriend, a friend, an ex, a lover or a work colleague through 8 very effective and psychology-based steps.

Falling in love: psychology

To understand how to fall out of love, it will first be necessary to analyze for a moment how psychology and science view the events of falling in love and suffering for love.

As I have already explained in this article, several studies have now shown that romantic love can be considered a profound addiction, as it causes the same effects in our brain that substances do. like cocaine.

The surprising thing is that when for some reason the love we feel stops being reciprocated, some psychological dynamics are activated in us that intensify the feeling even more.

We suffer deeply, which is why we are convinced that our love for that person is authentic. We enter a real one withdrawal crisis, like a drug addict who cannot get the necessary dose of the substance he wants.

The more we run after the person who left us or rejected us, the more we artificially increase the intensity of the feeling we feel towards him. The more mental energy we devote to her, the longer we keep our form of addiction to her alive.

By distancing oneself clearly and clearly from someone, it is instead possible to forget him and definitely fall in love with it.

How to fall out of love: 8 tips

Having made the appropriate premises, it is now possible to enter into the merits of the matter, and see like falling out of love with a person quickly and effectively. Here are 8 tips that really work, and that can help you stop loving those who don't deserve you too!

1. Distance yourself

To fall out of love with someone, it is first of all necessary distance yourself both physically and psychologically from this person. An alcoholic in order to overcome his addiction must keep away from all types of alcohol, and he is not allowed to drink even a glass of beer once in a while. Total abstinence!

The same regimen must be followed by someone who is trying to forget their loved one: not only no more live meetings or phone calls, but also the absolute prohibition to hear from you via messages or to check their social media profiles. Make a clean cut!

2. Experience the loss to the fullest

At this point it is right that you give yourself some time to mourn the loss, feel the emptiness it left in your life and live the pain to the fullest. Rather than running away from pain by engaging in other activities, in a first phase I recommend that you face it and focus on it, through the exercise of "meditation on pain" and all the other techniques.

By taking the time to grieve and explore negative emotions, you will be able to process them and bring them to fruition, returning to feel better much faster.

3. Write a long letter that you won't send

I find this exercise very effective and liberating. Write a long, detailed letter addressed to the person you love, explaining exactly how you feel and how you are experiencing the current situation.

Let her know you've made the decision to get on with your lifedespite all the love and pain you are feeling. If there is something you want to thank, forgive, or apologize for, put it briefly in the letter. Then put it away without sending it.

4. Fill the void

I'm willing to bet that a huge void has formed in your life. There is nothing strange about it, but the time has come fill it up with other people, activities and hobbies!

It is possible to fall out of love much more quickly when you turn your attention to satisfying new projects, fulfilling pastimes, and kind, interesting people.

Then start planning your new life!

Make plans, plan something exciting for yourself, and get back to living to the fullest. Remember that it is not love that must give meaning to your existence, but it is you yourself who must be able to fill your days with meaning. Love is just an enrichment, which should only come when basically you are already happy on your own!

5. Remove the blinds

When you are in love with a person, we tend to idealize it seeing only its strengths and forgetting its defects. This happens all the more after being rejected or left by the partner. We can no longer have that person, so we become convinced that he has an incredible value and much higher than ours! So we end up putting it on the pedestal ...

To fall out of love it is necessary to remove the blinders, and return to see the other in a more objective and balanced way. To this end, it may be useful to compile a list of that person's faults, or to perform one of the various psychological exercises included in my book "Starting Over After A Disappointment Of Love".

"Any passion is extinguished when you see the object exactly as it is."

Madame De Stael

6. Look for other emotions

Falling in love is something related to our emotional sphere, and not to the rational one. We cannot in fact decide to stop loving a person with the strength of our mind alone. To detach ourselves emotionally from someone is necessary live alternative emotions which overlap, and then replace the ones we felt thanks to our great love.

You must then go into this phase in search of novelty, strong emotions, intense experiences and other people who are able to satisfy your emotional needs.

7. Interpret reality more positively

It is not the situation itself, but the attitude we have towards it that determines a large part of the way we feel.

For example, if you keep thinking that you will never find love again, or that that person was your soul mate, for sure you will only make the situation worse and increase your obsession. Instead, it is much healthier and more effective to become aware of the fact that a soul mate does not exist. There are more than 7 billion people on our planet, and so many of them would be just fine for you!

It's not the end of the world if you and the one you love can't be together, and surely having known or had her for some time in your life has helped you grow, mature and better understand what you need. You will find someone else to love for sure!

8. Go out with other people

I am not a lover of the classic "nail chases nail" method, since in my opinion it is not a good idea to try to forget an ex boyfriend by quickly replacing him with a new partner.

A single period is essential to mature distance from the previous relationship and regain a healthy sense of autonomy and independence.

However, at the right time, going out with other people can really be the final and most important step to permanently detach from the ex partner and fall out of love.

Special cases

Let's now look at some particular cases in which you may find yourself, and which deserve additional considerations beyond what we have already said so far.

Like falling out of love with a friend

How to fall out of love with a person: 8 tips that work

Maybe you too have fallen into the unpleasant trap of the friendzone, and now you don't know how to get out of it? You are wondering like falling out of love with a friend or a friend who does not reciprocate your feelings?

The fear of ruining a friendship when feelings come into play is always very great. Sometimes we keep it all inside, for fear that by openly declaring our feelings the other person may be frightened or react badly. Other times we declare ourselves, but the other person says not to return our love, and that would rather we remain friends. We, naive, accept.

When we understand that a person does not see us in the same way that we see him, or that he is not willing to give us the same importance that we do not give to him, to avoid suffering and damaging our dignity we should immediately distance yourself from it.

To be clear, if you really love him, you can't be friends. Inside you will never be satisfied with a simple friendship. You will always want more!

The fact of not being able to have it will increase in you the obsession you feel towards it, and consequently also your pain. Through this mechanism even a small crush could turn into a burning and infinite love, which keeps you awake at night.

By giving up this friendship, which is not a true friendship, not only will you be able to fall out of love much faster and increase your self-esteem: you will also finally be free to turn your attention to people who can reciprocate your feelings. You will soon find true love, and you will understand that you were right to let your ex friend go ?

How to fall out of love with a co-worker

How to fall out of love with a person: 8 tips that work

What about the case where you and the person you have a crush on are working together? How to fall out of love with a co-worker?

As I have already explained above, very often we happen to want what we cannot have, and this only makes us even more obsessed with the person who doesn't return our attention. By continuing to spend a lot of time with the person in question, our obsession is clearly fueled further ...

To stop this vicious circle, we simply need to realize that we and our co-worker will never be together, and to move on. Here are some tips for falling out of love with a colleague:

  • spend less time with him, and don't have lunch together;
  • do not tell us about personal things;
  • do not joke with him and in general do not interact too much with him;
  • limit your contact to the bare minimum;
  • do not add it on Facebook, Instagram or other social profiles;
  • do nothing that reinforces the emotional bond you feel towards him;
  • find new people to direct your attention to.

Finally, if the feeling you have towards your colleague is not reciprocated, and it is really so strong that it distracts you from work, and makes your days sad and painful, I suggest you ask for a transfer or to change jobs. In hindsight you will be glad you did!

How to fall out of love with your lover

How to fall out of love with a person: 8 tips that work

Finally, how to fall out of love with your lover? How to fall out of love with a married man?

Extra-marital relationships are a very frequent phenomenon, especially in our times. Temptations are always many, and novelty seduces and attracts in a fatal and sometimes irresistible way. But is it correct to speak of love when referring to the feeling one has for a lover?

Every married person who is dating a lover, and every single person who becomes the lover of a married woman, tends to feel that the new "relationship" that has arisen is unique and special.

The lover believes that if he could transform that hidden and illicit relationship into a normal relationship based on total sharing and coexistence, he would be extremely happy and satisfied. However it comes to a fantasy based on his imagination, which does not find any confirmation in reality.

You can't know what it would be like to live with a person until you live with him.

Your infatuation is fueled by the desire for novelty, for transgression, and by the fact that you cannot have complete control over this person and you cannot experience it in your daily life.

You don't actually know your lover fully, as you're only seeing his best side. Your relationship is not burdened with the mundane reality of a marriage. No lawn to mow, house to clean, bills to pay or sick children to manage.

A normal wedding can never compete with a relationship based only on gallant dinners and secret and exciting meetings in a hotel!

But let's get to us, and back to the main question: like falling out of love with your lover?

The first and fundamental step is to realize that the feeling you think you feel is distorted and augmented by the dynamics mentioned above, and basically it is an infatuation rather than a true and authentic love.

The second step is the stop dating the lover, permanently terminating relations with him, and making sure he doesn't come back to you when it suits him. Block his phone number if necessary, and tell him clearly it's over between you. Time will do the rest.

How to continue ...

We have come to the end of this long article on how to fall out of love with a person. Thank you for reading it all the way through!

I assure you that from reading the first pages you will understand that you have found the perfect guide to face this period of your life in the best possible way.

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