The most common sexual fantasies

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Louise Hay

The most common sexual fantasies

What are the most frequent sexual fantasies? Having sex in public? Imagine yourself with your ex? Let's find out the answers!

Last update: 11 November 2022

Sexual fantasies are often labeled as a taboo subject, although in reality there is no reason to treat them as such. But what do we mean when we use this term?

A sexual fantasy is, by definition, a mental representation that we create, often unconsciously, about the sexual relationships that we would like to live (or simply imagine); and above all that we like to imagine because it excites us.

According to Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, these are "representations that are not destined to come true". However, sexual fantasies can be fulfilled. What does the data say? Below are the results of two surveys on the most common sexual fantasies of men and women.

"Free and satisfying sexuality can bring a significant amount of harmless enjoyment and pleasure into our life."

-Albert Ellis-

The most common sexual fantasies

A survey by a leading dating portal for married people in the UK reveals which are ten of the most common sexual fantasies. The survey was conducted on both men and women.

A surprising fact? 55% of respondents said they dream of having sex with their ex. Will it be true or will they have responded with the first thing that came to mind?

Without further ado, take a look at the other sexual fantasies that survey respondents revealed; who knows, maybe they will surprise you!

Having sex with your ex

As already mentioned, this was the most popular answer. Going back to having sex with the ex again occupies the first position among the most common sexual fantasies.

Recreate a scene already seen between sexual fantasies

In second place we find the fantasies about the reproduction of a sex scene seen on TV. Up to 40% of attendees said so!

Having sex with a celebrity

Another of the most common sexual fantasies, according to the portal's survey, would be having sex with a celebrity, with a famous person. This was stated by 38% of the interviewees.

Surely here the idealization of the person is mixed and, why not, the fact that in some way it is "unattainable". Apparently we like challenges.

Sex with current partner

It can become a sexual fantasy, why not, even imagine having sex with your current partner. Up to 36% of respondents mentioned this possibility.

It seems that even what we already know intrigues us. Without a doubt, the memories we already have with that person, the moments when we felt very excited or passionate, and so on influence our desire.

Having sex with a stranger

Another of the most common sexual fantasies is the one in which we imagine ourselves having sex with a stranger, with a stranger. The morbid curiosity of the unknown plays a key role here. In fact, about 29% of the interviewees opted for this alternative.

A love story with a co-worker between sexual fantasies

In sixth place, 27% of respondents said one of their sexual fantasies is imagining having an affair (or intercourse) with a co-worker. It is about a classic, idealizing loves with people at work... Who has never happened to?

Go to bed with a friend

There is no need to go "that far" with strangers, or "that close" with our current partner. The reality is that another very common sexual fantasy is to imagine having sex with a friend.

About 25% of the respondents, a quarter of the participants, indicated this option. Some people have a secret love for their best friend for a long time, who knows if this particular feeling will have affected or not.

The triangle (or group sex)

Another sexual fantasy proposed by the interviewees was this: having threesome or group sex. The number of participants in the imaginary sexual act was not specified. 19% of the respondents replied that this is one of their erotic fantasies.

Sex in a public place

In ninth position we find the fantasy of having sex in a public place (or with the possibility of being seen by others). 14% of the participants chose this option. It appears that the risk (in this case of being discovered) plays an important role.

Having sex with a cop

Lastly, with 11% of the "votes", we find another of the most frequent sexual fantasies: imagining having sex with a police officer.

This may have to do with the morbid passion for authority, limits, power or uniform. Or all together, who knows!

Sexual fantasies in men and women

The survey not only reveals the most common sexual fantasies, but also some curious data relating to men and women. In the case of women, they are the ones who think the most about having sex with their ex (or at least, that's what they say in the poll).

57% of them answered like this. This percentage is repeated in the case of women who fantasize about having sex with a celebrity.

In the case of men, their fantasies are more focused on threesomes, orgies and sex with strangers. However, the percentage differences are generally not that high between men and women but quite similar.

More surveys on sexual fantasies

Another survey, this time conducted by researchers from the Department of Psychology at the University of Quebec, Canada, revealed other sexual fantasies.

Some of them coincide with those already mentioned. In the case of women, these were the results (in order of preference from highest to lowest):

  • Having sex in a particularly romantic place.
  • Having sex in unfamiliar, strange or unusual places.
  • Receiving oral sex.
  • Being masturbated by your partner.
  • Having sex with someone other than your partner.
  • Playing the role of submissive.
  • Having sex in a public place.
  • Being part of a threesome or an orgy.

And the men? Their most common sexual fantasies, according to the survey, are as follows:

  • Oral sex.
  • Trio.
  • Having sex with someone who is not your partner.
  • Unexpected sex.
  • Watching two women having sex.
  • Ejaculate on the sexual partner.
  • Having sex in a romantic setting.
  • Being masturbated by the partner.
  • Be part of an orgy with more than three women.


Men and women they are not all that different in sexuality, arousal and imagination. We have seen in this article the most common sexual fantasies of both sexes and how some are repeated in every survey.

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