Making the decision to separate is never easy. We are talking about a choice that requires a lot of reflection, determination, firmness and courage. A choice that distorts the lives of both, but which in some cases is the only option to rely on.
Well, if separating is already complex in itself, being separated at home is even more difficult. The lives of the two partners are divided but, at the same time, they must try to be able to coexist peacefully under the same roof.
If you have come across this guide, it means that you and your partner have decided to separate but, at least for the moment, to continue living together. You are now full of doubts, fears and perplexities, but once you have finished this reading everything will be clearer to you.
You will understand how to deal with him, what to expect from this situation, how to take control of your life and much more. It will not be simple, but with a good "instruction manual" you will come out great.
Before starting to read, however, I want to invite you to take this very short online test that will allow you to calculate your chances of getting back together with her. Find out if you have at least the 50% probability by clicking on the button below.
Living apart at home: how long it can last
As we said, living separately at home is not an easy situation to deal with. And in fact, we are talking about a decision that, in most cases, is taken in the face of some problems that they prevent the two partners from separating permanently.
It can be financial difficulties, a lease that has to end, or other issues related to moving. In short, sometimes it is not possible to find a different solution from that of parting at home.
However, as you might imagine, let's talk about one a situation that cannot go on forever, especially because it is not ideal for either groped a rapprochement, or to be able to turn the page.
It is a bit like being still in limbo, because the moment you decide to separate you should have their own spaces e create the right distance from the former partner. Removal is not only very useful, but almost necessary in cases like these.
The distance allows you to understand what you really want, if the decision made is the right one, as well as it allows you to process the pain, to focus on yourself and then, perhaps, to try a possible rapprochement.
That's why being separated at home isn't a long-term situation. Furthermore, it also needs to be seen if you and your ex will succeed find your own balance living under the same roof but not actually being together.
If so, you may be able to live together for a few weeks, or even for few months, but then you would still have to make a decision about it.
Separated at home: how to behave
Now that the premises have been made we can move on to the gist of the matter. In this paragraph we will see 5 tips that will come in handy for you to be able to better manage the coexistence at home with your ex, so that at least a peaceful atmosphere can be created.
At the beginning it will not be easy, because it will all be very mechanical and unnatural, but all these 5 tips will help you to better live the particular circumstance in which you find yourself, also putting you in good light towards your ex.
1. Respect its spaces
The first thing you will need to do if you find yourself separated in the house is outline boundaries between those who are his spaces and yours. This does not mean that you will not have to cross each other around the house, but neither do you risk being intrusive to each other.
If, for example, she starts going out with her friends often, don't raise the issue, rather put yourself in the perspective of doing the same. If, on the other hand, she occupies the room every night to watch television without considering you in the least, then here it is right to talk about it.
You have to try to find the compromise that makes you live as peaceful as possible, especially as regards the common spaces. In short, to live separately at home you need organization, and here you can't back down.
2. Share the responsibilities
When you share your life with one person there are many responsibilities affecting the home environment (do the dishwasher, the washing machine, keep clean, do the shopping and much more).
If within your couple these tasks were already divided equally you will not have major problems: you will just have to continue doing what you already did. It is quite another matter whether you or she played a more dominant role in these responsibilities.
Today she doesn't owe you anything, just as you don't owe anything to her. What you have to do, even here, is to talk about the daily life that you will have to face, so as to be sure not to encounter misunderstandings.
3. Respect each other
When two people break up, they have a chance to start doing what they want with their life without having to answer to your partner anymore. However, the same cannot be said of those who live separately in the house.
On the one hand it is true that you are no longer in a relationship, but on the other you still share your daily life in the same environment. Therefore, it would not be correct to behave as if the other did not exist.
It's okay to go out when you feel like it, hang out with friends and acquaintances, but it is important to avoid having attitudes that can create tension in the house or bring to some unpleasant discussions.
4. Dedicate yourself to your life
This is advice that, although it may seem obvious, it always comes in handy when a relationship ends. The breakup brings with it all the habits, routines and everyday life you had with her, so even if you live under the same roof, at first you may feel very lonely and sad.
What you will have to do, therefore, is try to do not remain idle waiting for things to settle themselves. Spend time with what you enjoy, care and excite you, start dating your friends again, or start a new sport.
In short, having more time is not necessarily bad, as long as you make it pay off. And this is the moment when you have to roll up your sleeves, take your life in hand and try to rebuild it from scratch, even if your purpose is to go back with her.
5. Analyze your relationship
Last but not least, you should take some time to understand what the problems that have led you to get lost. If you are talking about separation this is not just a down time, and it is important that you know how you got this far.
Such work will serve you both to give real meaning to everything that has happened, and to understand about what points you will have to commit should your wish be to create a second chance for you.
Think of it like this: the vase has broken and now you have the opportunity to try to put the pieces back together and understand where the first cracks started to arise. Clearly, in addition to the difficulties, he tries to reflect on the possible ones as well solutions.
Separated at home: how to win it back
What you are in today is not an easy situation to manage, especially because it is unnatural. However, as we saw in the beginning, let's not talk about something that will last indefinitely: you will soon find a way to arrange things according to your goals.
Maybe the lease is about to expire, or you are waiting for some good business news that can give you the freedom to separate permanently. In short, everything is possible and in one way or another you always find the right way.
On the other hand, however, it could also be that you have the desire to take a step back, of try to fix things and to go back to hugging your ex the way you hugged her a while ago.