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    We mature thanks to the damage not to the years

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    Robert Maurer
    @robertmaurer
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    Getting older is inevitable, but being old doesn't necessarily mean to be mature. It is not time that makes us change perspective and makes us grow, but the experiences we have lived. Because when it comes to the journey of life, often what matters is not the results achieved, but the person we became while making our decisions. In fact, for decades it was believed that old age was a period of loss. Today we know that, like the rest of the stages of our life, in old age we lose some skills but gain others. For example, our intelligence crystallizes, which means that it relies more on the experience and skills acquired over the course of life. We are also more cautious, empathetic, understanding, and much more emotionally intelligent, but it's not time that gives us all of this, it's our experiences, difficult situations we've faced and conflicts we've resolved. Therefore, there are also some very young people who show great maturity and good resilience, while some adults continue to have childish thinking full of stereotypes.It is not the time that makes us realize that we have to learn from our mistakes and failures, they are the damage we have suffered, which pushes us to renew our spirit. Coming out wounded by the battles of life teaches us that there are a thousand causes that can make us suffer, but there are a thousand and one reasons to recover and continue.

    The spice of life

    One day, a wise Hindu teacher tired of hearing his pupil's complaints decided to teach him a lesson. He sent him to look for a handful of salt. On his return, he asked him to take some of the salt, put it in a glass of water and drink. - What does it taste like? - The teacher then asked. - It's salty and bitter! - Answered the pupil. Then the teacher, smiling, asked him to accompany him to the shore of a lake. He asked him to throw the same amount of salt into the lake water and then drink some. So did the young man. - What does water taste like? - He asked again. - It's very fresh. - Is it salty? - Not at all. Then the master said to him: “Pain in life is like salt. The amount of pain is always the same, but the degree of bitterness we perceive depends on the vessel into which we pour the pain. Therefore, when you are in pain, all you have to do is expand your perspective on things. Stop being a glass of water and turn into a lake ".

    The value of the years

    Years are also precious. The passage of time allows us to take a certain perspective, to move away from the passions and feelings we experience at the moment to evaluate the situation with greater objectivity. Over the years we are able to look back and find a place for everything, giving each event the right dimension.After many years we can laugh at the fear that the teacher gave us at school or the anxiety that gave us the perspective of the first kiss. Time does not erase experiences, but softens their emotional impact, makes us more serene so that we can look back and, in some way, we can better rewrite our history, but to achieve the change of perspective that makes us grow, to to stop being a glass and become a lake, we must be willing to change, accept and let go. The simple passage of time is usually not enough to forget a love or forgive ourselves a mistake, we must do our part.

    The value of pain

    Pain, doubt, uncertainty, conflict, loss and mistakes are also excellent teachers of life. They are all necessary to understand things in their real dimension. Tears can be salty and burn in the wound, but they also have the power to purify our eyes and allow us to see the world with greater clarity.Only when we have suffered can we understand that the world is beautiful and that there are things that the worth fighting for. At that moment we realized that the road is neither too long nor painful if the destination is worth it. After suffering, we understand that everything is relative and we can see the world in a new light, ceasing to be a small glass to become a lake.In fact, people who have not had an easy life have been forced to walk the streets more difficult of existence, their own. These people have had to look inward to understand their emotions, make tough decisions, and move on. It is in this process that they found their true "selves" and grew up. In fear, they learned not to fear and in pain, they learned to manage suffering. These teachings are scars of war but they will be the breadcrumbs that will show them the way the next time they face similar obstacles. Because looking back, they have learned the most important lesson of all: nothing is permanent, everything passes. teach us. Pain makes us more human, wiser, and allows us to grow.Remember that the choice is always yours: pour the pain into a glass or a lake.
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