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    10 tips to get the best out of you when all seems lost

    Who I am
    Louise Hay
    @louisehay
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    Sometimes we take life too seriously. We stick with things that are insignificant and let them ruin our existence. For example, an unexpected event at work makes us lose the whole day or while we are at the bar the person in front of us takes the last croissant, and this puts us in a bad mood. We get angry with our partner for trivial reasons and with the employee on duty when he does not fulfill our request, and finally we constantly feel frustrated because things are not going as we hoped. What can we do when all seems lost? The truth is, we can't change anyone. Things are as they are. We can only control our reactions. We can let other people and situations determine our emotions or we can take charge of our life and consciously decide how to react. After all, remember that how others treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.


    Learn to flow with the current

    1. Don't make it personalRemember this is not a personal affront, the universe does not conspire against you. It doesn't rain just to ruin your day and the office employee on duty isn't there to complicate your life, he probably behaves like this with everyone. When you realize that it's not you, you will find that everything is easier because you can take an emotional distance from the situation and better control your reactions.
    2. Think about the size of the UniverseWe tend to think that we are the center of the world, but if we look at the universe in perspective we realize that we are only a speck in space-time. The purpose of this reflection is not to humiliate us but to help us put everything in the right perspective. When it seems to you that your problems and obstacles are insurmountable, consider that there are infinite paths you can take to solve them, there is always a solution.
    3. Step out of the cycle of negativityWhen we are deeply trapped in our negativity, when we think we are experiencing a bad day or are dealing with an unbearable person, sometimes what we need is just a little help to bring us back to reality. So, the next time you feel anxious, exhausted or stressed out, listen to a song you like and sing it with your full voice, even better if you dance it. The problems will not disappear as if by magic, but breaking that cycle of negativity that torments your mind will help you find serenity and a solution.
    4. Get what you focus onWe have all experienced situations where we get angry and lose control. But the more we focus on this, the worse it will be. Remember the rule: anything you focus on will grow. Therefore, if you focus on the negative things, flaws and worries that lead nowhere, they will develop in your mind. In this way, you will always see the world in a negative perspective and you will perceive many neutral situations as negative. The key is to change your perspective by choosing a more positive one.
    5. Breathe deeplyThere are situations that could make even a Buddhist monk lose patience. In these cases, we can only breathe. When we get angry, irritated, or stressed, a series of physiological changes occur that indicate to our brains that it needs to increase attention. As a result, we will be more sensitive and irritable, ready to attack anyone at the slightest warning sign. Diaphragmatic breathing helps us restore heart rhythm and calms us, allowing us to think better.
    6. React differentlyA Beatles song says: "All you need is love". And it's true that many of the people we meet every day just need love. Therefore, even if our first reaction is to imitate them and react with aggression or anger, everything could change if we calm down and respond with a smile. Sometimes, reacting in the most unexpected way is enough to cause the person to change their attitude. Either way, if he doesn't, we will still feel better because we have been in control.
    7. Face the world with humorLaughter is the best antidote to negative emotions. In fact, we can say that we have truly overcome fear when we look back and laugh at the idea of ​​having experienced a particular fear. When you are able to find the funny side to a situation, it loses its dramatic nuances and you will be able to react with greater integrity, putting everything in its place. Remember that our minds always tend to exaggerate problems and are often set in "catastrophe mode".
    8. Accept that you see the world as you are, not as it isConsider that your perception is conditioned by the situation you are in. You cannot pretend to be 100% objective, because our past experiences, our hopes and, above all, our expectations, determine the meaning we attribute to the situations we live in. In fact, most of the time we don't react to objective situations, but to the frustration and disappointment we feel, because our expectations have not been met. Be aware that you do not perceive the world as it really is, but as you wish it to be.
    9. Accept that your emotional balance is non-negotiableDid you know that every little discussion and even the slightest episodes of anger that we swallow without showing them alter our heart coherence? And did you know that an irregular heart rhythm is a very reliable predictor of a future heart attack? Therefore, when faced with a difficult person or a complicated situation, repeat this mantra: "My emotional balance is non-negotiable". Don't think in terms of "winning or losing", because the most important thing in these situations is that your inner peace is not damaged. This means that you will have to ask yourself which battle is worth fighting.
    10. Give yourself the right to be wrongIn any case, it is practically impossible to be able to remain calm and smile all the time. Excess self-control can become exhausting. Therefore, don't become your own worst judge, give yourself the chance to fail. Don't complain about losing control, instead, look for the causes and learn the lesson. Remember that the goal is for you to be happy, don't take it for granted, and don't take a hypervigilating attitude that will prevent you from enjoying the beauty around you simply because you are too busy controlling your reactions.

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