Keep calm in the middle of the storm1. Concentrate on solutions. Toxic people often create a choking sensation. However, if you focus on these negative emotions and thoughts, you will feel worse, feel like you are in a dead end maze, and the likelihood of losing control will increase. As a result, the stress increases. Therefore, it is better to focus on solutions, on how to solve this particular situation and reduce the stress level.
2. Set limits. Toxic people will try to immerse you in their problems. They don't really want to find solutions, they just want to waste your time and unload their load of negativity. Therefore, it is important to learn to distinguish between people who really need help, because they want to solve a problem, and those who just want to complain and behave like a human garbage truck. If so, set healthy limits that will allow you to keep your distance.
3. Don't expect a change. Making change is not a mission impossible, but it is complicated and requires a lot of effort. Toxic people usually find it difficult to change because they tend to put up a great deal of resistance. So, don't waste time scolding yourself, disapproving of their actions, or scolding them for what they say, because that way you only risk making the situation even worse. Just give them short, concise suggestions, don't press them too hard.
4. Don't argue. Saving energy is important. Also, arguments often only make you feel worse. Therefore, it is essential not to fall into the game that toxic people propose to you in order not to be sucked into their network. If you notice that your partner is unable to handle their emotions well or is not open to new topics, prevent them from starting an argument. To maintain your psychological balance, it is best that you learn to choose which battles to fight and which to avoid.
5. Get to know yourself. If you know yourself well and know what your point of no return is, the moment when you lose your temper, you can stop before you reach that point. On the contrary, let the toxic person advance without establishing a barrier and you will end up angry and frustrated. Maintain emotional control at all times and if you feel that you are on the verge of losing it, politely interrupt the conversation. So tell your partner that you can't continue talking about this topic.
6. Get over the negativity. Toxic people do not tend to act rationally, if they did, they would not exhibit many negative behaviors that violate the rights of others. In fact, sometimes it's not even the person who annoys us, but simply thinking about their irrational, unfair and even selfish behavior. Therefore, the golden rule to calmly deal with these people is to overcome this initial negativity. Just react to the facts, don't follow the train of their chaotic thoughts, and don't expect them to act like you.
7. Don't judge. Not judging is difficult. In fact, on the path of personal growth it is one of the most difficult habits to eliminate, but when we succeed we will have great satisfaction. Be careful not to judge the person in front of you, rather, offer them respect, understanding and compassion. Remember that childhood traumas, fears and frustrations are likely behind these behaviors. Remember we are not better or worse, just different.