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    Assertiveness, the ten rights we often forget

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    Joe Dispenza
    @joedispenza
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    The ever increasing complexity of the environment in which we live puts us under the most diverse difficulties. Perhaps the most complex problems are those that originate from interpersonal relationships and that require a great deal of assertiveness for a solution to be found. But… what is assertiveness? The definitions are many, we will try to get closer to the more practical ones: assertiveness is to express our personal rights in such a way as not to harm others but at the same time without falling into a condition of submission or individual prejudice. It is a skill that includes the thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that allow us to assert our rights without attacking anyone and without being attacked, valuing the most appropriate time, form and way. An assertive person is one who is able to express his opinions openly and without fear but with respect for others, always managing to find a solution, the most adequate possible, in the face of conflicts that may arise. Something quite difficult to do! No doubt. Very often we let people trample our rights, this in the long run leads to a vicious circle in which we end up having a good part of our individuality taken away until we find ourselves completely submissive to others and with immense feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction. So… what are our assertive rights? The list could be very long, I have already tried to reduce it to those ten assertive rights that seem essential to me. We have the right to: 1. Be treated with respect and dignity. 2. Making mistakes and holding ourselves accountable for them. 3. Express our opinions, beliefs and emotions and also change our opinion. 4. Value our own needs as much and as much as those of others. 5. Judge ourselves for our actions, thoughts and emotions but at the same time we must take responsibility for the consequences. 6. Not always having to offer reasons to justify our behavior. 7. Being independent of the will of the majority and even showing ourselves in disagreement. 8. Say: “I don't understand” and above all, we have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty. 9. Deciding what to do with our body, time and our properties. 10. Be happy. However, these rights are not some kind of ten commandments. We must always keep in mind that we all have the same rights so a minimum of common sense is essential to put assertiveness into practice. Let us remember that assertive rights are designed to enhance respect for human beings and for life, not to justify selfish behavior. A better world is possible but we need the participation of all of us, one by one.
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