You are at a dinner with friends or family, everyone is talking and laughing, but suddenly the feeling of being invisible assails you. You feel that no one is listening to you, that your opinions are not being taken into consideration and you may even begin to wonder what you are doing there.
In fact, it is a feeling that many people have experienced at one time or another, at least once in their life. It can last only a few minutes or it can stretch over time for weeks or even months. This feeling can have several causes, but the common origin behind it is the lack of bonds that connect us to other people.
We feel invisible only because we believe that there are no bonds that unite us to those with whom we share our daily life. It can be emotional ties (we think we are not important enough for others) or cognitive constraints (we believe we do not have common topics of conversation or do not share the same values). One way or another, the underlying problem is that we feel invisible when we believe there is a big gap between us, between what we think, believe and feel, and what other people think, feel and believe.
Sometimes this gap has been created because we have changed, because our value system and / or our needs have changed and we find more satisfaction within the group to which we belonged. In fact, getting in and out of some groups is part of life. If people don't change with us, we are likely to lose the points of contact that once united us. But sometimes it's other people who change as we stick to old habits and values. What to do?
- Analyze the situation as objectively as possible
Sometimes the feeling of being invisible is temporary and there is no need to unleash a storm in a glass of water. Other times, it is determined by the fact that other people are too busy in certain activities but a radical change has not yet occurred, so just have a little patience and everything will be as before. Finally, it may be that you need extra support because you are going through a difficult situation and others have not noticed. The essential thing is to find out where this feeling comes from.
- Communicate what you feel
If you need more support and if you feel your views are not being taken into consideration, simply say so. Sometimes people are too absorbed in themselves to notice these details, but if you ask for help they will probably be happy to offer it. The worst thing you can do is to keep ruminating on that feeling, because this attitude will end up making you focus only on the negatives and the gap will widen even further. Assertively express what you need in that moment and explain to others how they can help you.
- Look for commonalities
If you feel invisible because you have changed or because others have changed, it does not mean that you can no longer have things in common. After all, something has held you together for a long time. When you feel lonely and misunderstood, it is normal to focus only on the negative aspects that separate you from others. Either way, I suggest you focus on the things you have in common and value them.