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    It is not what you say but how you say it

    Who I am
    Louise Hay
    @louisehay
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    Between what I think, What I want to say, What I think I say, What I say, What you want to hear, What you hear, What you think you understand, What you want to understand, And what you really understand ... There are probably 9 Undoubtedly, communication between humans is complicated and language is often a source of misunderstanding. The point is, choosing the right words isn't enough extraverbal communication it still conveys a lot of us. In fact, we are all, to a lesser or greater extent, experts in extraverbal communication. Without knowing it, our brain decodes all the small signals and triggers the alarm when it senses an inconsistency or we feel we are being attacked. For this reason, the point is often not what you say, but how you say it. Sometimes it's not the words, but the tone of voice or gestures that make the difference. In fact, sarcasm can completely change the meaning of words. Likewise, we cannot convince someone that we are not angry if our attitude reveals that we feel annoyed and uncomfortable. Also, there are times when we send a positive message, but don't choose the right tone or words. For example, a criticism can be constructive if we use the right words, but the same criticism can also be destructive and undermine the person's self-esteem if we use the wrong tone and words.

    What is the solution?

    To communicate, speaking is not enough, we must also be listened to, but it is not enough to be listened to, it is also essential to be understood and accepted. This means that, beyond the message you want to convey, to connect with another person it is essential to put ourselves in the shoes.This does not mean that we must communicate artificially, hiding our emotions, on the contrary, we must learn to communicate from our own. essence. In fact, the main problem is that sometimes we try to hide what we really think or feel, and our interlocutor realizes that the message we transmit is not authentic. Of course, we must not even allow emotions to become an unstoppable river. which breaks down the barriers and damages our relationships, especially when we feel anger or frustration. We must learn to channel our emotions in such a way that our message is authentic and that, at the same time, it has a positive effect on the other person. done the job well, next time you could try to work harder… ". And it is not the same to say: "you always behave in the same way" than to say: "you hurt me, I would like you to take my opinion into consideration next time". Of course, these changes in the way of communicating do not happen today until tomorrow. We need to practice and, above all, refine the senses, to understand the emotional impact that our words are having on the other person. This way we can soften the message when needed or we can show our vulnerability if the occasion calls for it. Remember that the key is to communicate from our essence, with affection and respect for each other.
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