Introverted? Let's see how to live happily as introverts without changing our character.
The distrust with which the extrovert looks at the inner world is equal to that with which the introvert looks at the outer world.Carl Gustav Jung
When you are talking about introversion various stereotypes and human cases come to mind.
The media have accustomed us to seeing introverts as failed individuals who fail to socialize and relate to people the way others do, so-called normal people.
Other clichés, on the other hand, see introverted people as sick people to be treated or given transform into extroverts at all costs to allow them to live their life.
In truth, things are not that way at all and it is therefore time to dispel some myths.
So let's see the true definition of introvert, the typical characteristics of introverted people, the types of introvert and finally you will understand how to use introversion to your advantage.
As we have seen, the definition of introvert is often altered by the perception that the media and the masses give us.
The first real definition and categorization of introvert and extrovert is due to the omnipresent Carl Gustav Jung, illustrated in his book Psychological Types.
Jung's categorization is, so to speak, neutral: he does not attribute any good or bad judgment to one or the other category, it is only a recent belief that he sees introverts as social outcasts.
Wikipedia, on the other hand, under the introversion entry says:
The extroverted consciousness confronts the external world, which it faces through the senses, while the introverted consciousness confronts the internal world, which is perceived as the "seat" of its own identity, and then filters the external data through the internal world. , and gives them subjective meanings.
In practice, introverts are more focused on the world within their minds than extroverts on the world outside.
The introvert is therefore a person who perceives and lives life differently how an extrovert would do, neither better nor worse.
Being introverted or extroverted therefore has nothing to do with being more or less outgoing; In fact, recent research definitely denies this link.
I don't want to dwell too much on the mere definition of introvert and extrovert because it would not be useful for the purposes of this article, but let's dispel a few other myths.
As you may have guessed, being an introvert is other than being shy.
In a social situation, for example, the shy person will be reluctant to integrate due to anxiety, fear or insecurity, while the introverted person will keep aloof mainly for little interest in socializing.
The connection that sees introverted people as insecure, with low self-esteem and in trouble with people of the opposite sex is also to be severed.
Of course there may be introverted people who are also shy or introverted with low self-esteem, but the connection is not as direct as is usually thought.
The lies about introverted people
Most of the associations that are made with introverts are incorrect.
In fact, introverted people:
- They are not gloomy people
- It is not true that they do not know how to have fun
- It is not true that they do not know how to relate
- They are not necessarily lonely people
- They don't necessarily stay at home all the time
- They are not necessarily shy and passive
So let's see what are the characteristics, so to speak special, of introverted people.
Introverts enjoy different distinguishing features that they don't share with extroverted people.
Often these characteristics are seen as defects to be corrected, but in reality they are very useful qualities that diversify the various types of characters.
- They focus more on the world within them
- They know how to be silent and consequently they know how to listen to other people
- Often they don't want to appear but focus on being real people
- They think a lot before they speak, which results in higher quality conversations
- They surround themselves with a few people but of high quality
- They often develop very deep thoughts
- They leave the field open to other people who want to show off
- They are also fine alone and use loneliness to their advantage
- They are generally more sensitive
- They know how to relate to others but prefer to share their spaces with a few selected people
- They are often more inclined towards meditation and individual sports
In short, contrary to what we have been told, being introverted is a characteristic with very important advantages and not a defect to be corrected.
Now let's see what type of introvert you might belong to.
There are basically two types of introverted people and it is important to understand which category we belong to.
I note that Jung identifies 4 types of introverts and 4 of extroverts of which I report only the two who, in my opinion, are most significant for the purposes of this article.
If you want to deepen all of Jung's categories, I refer you again to the book Psychological types.
The social introvert is probably the most common type of introvert person.
Social introverts do not like the company of many people at the same time and indeed prefer to relate to one or at most two people at a time.
This peculiar characteristic can sometimes also be accompanied by a lack of self-confidence or shyness.
The reserved introvert may prefer to approach people one at a time, but the characteristic that distinguishes him most is the ability to always reflect before speaking or acting.
Usually reserved introverts speak and act only after carefully thinking about what to say and rarely speak impulsively.
Furthermore, the reserved introvert does not like to talk about himself and only provides the information necessary to establish effective communication.
With this classification done, we need to know that rigidly labeling a person in one way or another doesn't make much sense.
In fact, we are often a mix of the various labels proposed, which is also valid for the introverted and extroverted classification.
In fact, it is quite common to have some qualities as an introvert and others as an extrovert; when we label we refer to a general trend.
That is, there may be people who tend to be introverted but not in all the characteristic aspects of this category and vice versa.
Furthermore, it should be noted that according to some studies, the attitude of introversion or extroversion can change even in the face of the context.
Let's see now how to enjoy life even if we are introverted.
The introvert, compared to the extrovert, tends to seek fewer friendships, often preferring quality over quantity.
He doesn't need to have thousands of superficial contacts: in short, he doesn't need those facade knowledge which in the end are not useful to anyone.
If you are an introvert then, don't focus on improving your weaknesses by looking for lots of useless contacts.
Rather, carefully select your friendships and look for people with very similar interests to yours, building solid, true and lasting bonds: leave the 1.000 contacts on Facebook alone.
Introverted people have more difficulty making decisions when under pressure, this does not mean that they are unable to decide, but that they need to think more than others.
For this reason, whenever possible try to carve out your space to think.
If someone demands a quick but also hasty decision from you, simply reply that you have to think about it, that you have to evaluate the proposal or that you do not want to make hasty decisions.
Also take a look at the article where I tell you how to have the answer ready.
Introverts, especially social ones, don't like to show off and deal with many people all at once.
For this reason, if you have to attend a party, a meeting or any collective event, never come last.
Get there first so you can interact with people one at a time as they arrive, plus you can relate to them avoiding the last-minute crowd.
As you know, tight and crowded environments do not appeal to introverted people.
Introverts have a hard time relating to others in environments they don't know well.
For example, if an introvert goes to the gym, he will hardly make friends on the first day, unlike the extrovert who will strike up a button talking to everyone about this and that.
For this reason, introverted people need more time to settle in and get married.
It is very important to understand this fact in order not to make one's introversion a case of state and to prevent it from affecting self-confidence.
In these circumstances, take your time settle in new places before expecting yourself to be comfortable.
As we have seen, each of us can have an attitude that tends to be extrovert or introvert, but we often have the characteristics of both.