If you are a introverted and you feel wrong it is because so far you have only fed the negative pole of introversion. In this article, you will discover the lights and shadows of this personality trait and how to fully express your potential as an introvert (without distorting yourself).
If you are also part of the "introverts club"- like myself - I bet a coffee (to drink strictly alone and in peace) that at least once in your life you have had to put up with these jokes and questions sfrangi-maroni:
"Everything is fine? I see you so silent... "
“Yes, madam, Albertino is intelligent, but he prefers not to show himself too prominently in class. "
"Judith, in life you have to step forward, otherwise the others will steal your chances! "
“In what sense do you want to be alone for a while? You mean that you are not okay with me?!?”
"He throws it very, very much."
"IS icy. Whatever happens, he seems to have no emotion. "
Do they sound familiar ?! ;-)
... and let me guess: feeling you "mistaken"(Or" wrong ") on more than one occasion you have tried to force yourself, to distort yourself, forcing yourself to reluctantly do (and with little success) those things that all the others consider" right ".
Well, about one thing I can reassure you: there is nothing wrong with you (in U.S).
On the contrary…
The genius of the introvert: 10 famous introverts to take inspiration from
Too many are convinced that to be successful today it is essential to be extroverts.
La society of appearance in which we live seems to actually benefit those with a breezy and open character. But it's just about ... appearances.
Some of the greatest artists, scientists, statesmen and entrepreneurs in history were and are known introverts.
I'll just mention 10 that I find particularly inspiring:
- J. K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter.
- Elon Musk, the brilliant entrepreneur of South African origins.
- Marie Curie, the pioneer of radioactivity studies.
- Warren Buffet, one of the most prolific investors of all time.
- Meryl Streep, one of the most awarded actresses in Hollywood.
- Fryderyk Chopin, one of the most famous Polish pianists in history.
- Eleanor Roosevelt, l’energica First Lady americana del ‘900.
- Bob Dylan, the eclectic American musician, Nobel Prize for literature.
- Emma Watson, a young English actress, revelation of the last decade.
- Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and today the most famous philanthropist in the world.
These are just some of the introverts who have changed or are changing history. In general, the introvert who is fully realized often becomes a great one artist or thinker, or a leader generous and enlightened.
Ok ok Andre ', all clear so far… I only have one question: what exactly does it mean to be an introvert ?!
20 questions to understand if you are an OCD introvert
Before I reveal the 2 poles of introversion and how you can leverage the positive pole to fully express your potential, maybe it is the case that I explain to you well what it means to be a introverted.
Extroversion and Introversion are the two extremes of one of the 5 great personality traits (1) Extroversion, 2) Friendliness, 3) Conscientiousness, 4) Neuroticism, 5) Openness).
The stretch ofExtroversion specifically indicates how we interact with others.
"The extroverts tend to be sociable and assertive while the introverts they tend to be more reserved, thoughtful and less sociable ”(source Wikipedia).
Let it be clear, none of us are 100% introverted o outgoing.
Rather, we move on a continuum: there are those who have a character more shifted towards the extreme of introversion and those instead towards that of extroversion. Then there are the ambiverses that are located in the central area.
Among other things, the tendency to be more extroverted or introverted can also know fluctuations and be influenced by elements such as family, social context or l 'mood.
So what is the main feature to observe in order to understand our trend?
Observe yourself when you are tired
To understand if you are predominantly introverted or extroverted, you have to rethink what you do to recharge your batteries in moments of fatigue.
- - extroverts they take energy from the outside, through contact with people and wider social contexts. They love the city buzz, music, exchanges and fun activities.
- - introverts instead to recharge they need to regularly take moments of solitary rest, away from social chaos, perhaps in the quiet of nature.
I bet that one of the two descriptions made you smile of complicity ... ;-)
In addition to this first distinction, there are several other typical traits of a introverted DOC.
I have collected for you a series of questions that will allow you to better understand yours level of introversion - the more positive responses you give, the higher your "intro quota" will be:
Find out how introverted you are
Answer instinctively, without thinking too much:
- When it's time to talk, you prefer reflect well before starting?
- weights well your decisions and actions?
- Ti focus easily?
- You work best from alone?
- Le useless chatter do they bother you?
- You happen to get lost among yours pensieri?
- Hate the pressure of tight deadlines?
- You don't like them very much risky situations?
- You work better by dedicating yourself to one activity at a time, without pauses?
- You don't like to show your work before it is completed?
- You feel better with few friends, but good?
- You prefer to listen rather than talk?
- You hate the multitasking?
- When you converse, you are better off conversing with a few people at a time, and do you tend to let others speak first?
- You don't particularly need to external stimuli to feel good?
- You don't like to talk about your private affairs and you notice outsource little your feelings?
- Your ideal birthday party is he in the company of your five best friends?
- You have a special eye for i details?
- When you speak, keep a tone of voice tends to be low?
- Your perfect weekend is made of rest, movies, books it's a couple of friends?
Now that you've confirmed that you are an OCD introvert it's time to talk about 2 poles of introversion:
- Il Lonely Knight capacitor positive (+) lead
- THEInvisible Man negative (-) lead
Let's start from the positive pole (+), the one to which every introvert should aspire to fully exploit their strengths: the Lonely Knight.
The introvert at best: the Lone Rider
“He who knows does not speak of it. He who speaks does not know. "
Il Lonely Knight (Lone Ranger) is one of the most famous comic book heroes; but for introverts it represents something more ... an archetype that can inspire them to fully express their potential and leverage the strengths of those who belong to the spectrum of introversion.
Here are the 4 characteristics that are typical of every introvert and that skilfully trained can make you a superhero:
1) Deepest quiet
"Superhuman silences and very deep stillness"
Calm, caution, a very large capacity of concentration.
The introvert does not crave to put himself at the center of attention and to always say his own at any cost. He prefers to be silent, reflect, listen.
These features make it often a great leader, able to know the members of his team intimately, enhance them and naturally lead them to take the best steps.
Un introverted leader he will never impose his own vision, risking errors dictated by narcissism or selfishness, but will rather try to reach a well-considered decision after having gathered the necessary information and having listened to the key interlocutors.
The introvert tends to be a person wise.
By loving the in-depth study and having a great time alone, it is easy for you to become a great expert in the fields where it applies.
Like the extrovert, he does not need many external stimuli, responses from others, to frequently change the activity to which he dedicates himself.
It is extremely persistent (do you remember our friend Emil Zatopek? He was also an introvert ...).
It has a large capacity of analysis, he loves to express himself through the writing (uh ...) and he loves the reading (ri-ehm…).
3) Reading of thought
Thanks to his innate ability to to speak the others and to its natural empathythe introvert ends up knowing very well the people he has to deal with and behaving in a way that puts them at ease, foreseeing (and preventing) conflicts and promoting a peaceful atmosphere.
4) Super independence
The company of himself, for the introvert, is the best. That's why he manages to stay that way well alone, without depending on others.
He has the ability to nourish himself from within and proves himself fully self-sufficient.
He decides according to his own principles, far from the conditioning of others.
These are the great strengths of the introvert, which not by chance are part of the character of those characters who have left their mark in history:
"I am a horse made to pull alone, I do not feel cut out to work in tandem or in groups ... because I know very well that to achieve a certain goal it is essential that the same person think and decide."
As said, if you are a introverted, these 4 qualities are already within you: instead of distorting yourself by pretending to be an extrovert, you must learn to cultivate them and make them mature, letting the archetype of the Lonely Knight.
Doing so will allow you to donate to humanity i best fruits of your mind, settle intricate conflicts and fully express yours artistic vein.
The negative pole (-) that threatens all introverts, however, is around the corner.
I'm talking aboutInvisible Man...
The dark side of introverts: the Invisible Man
“How do you know if a Finn likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his. "
THEInvisible Man, a mad scientist who uses his invisibility to found a reign of terror, is the extreme example of the dark side of introverts.
I'm pretty sure you're not raving about cosmic destructions and dark globe conquests, yet, as an introvert, you may fall into some of the pitfalls of this negative pole (-).
The great capacity of introspection and concentration of the introvert can in fact also involve some difficulty in relating with others in the most critical and agitated situations.
This rigidity of reaction it can be declined in different ways:
- Insecurity or embarrassment.
- Overstimulation, that is, an easy nervous overload caused by external stimuli.
- Fragmentary vision e obsessive thinking.
- Fear of conflict and passivity.
Not all these characteristics are necessarily present in an introvert, but there is a serious risk of finding oneself easily in a vicious circle ...
For example, your innate caution can lead you to systematically avoid certain situations, theavoidance in turn it could turn into isolation real, a fertile ground in which you risk giving too much attention to your internal world by getting lost in a pinwheel of mental saws.
So what can we do, as introverts, to cultivate the skills of Lonely Knight and shun the demons ofInvisible Man?
3 practical tips to become an effective introvert
I would like to conclude this article with the classic GetPersonalGrowth approach: some practical tips to leverage your introversion and help you reach your most ambitious goals.
Let's see them
1) Learn to dose and manage your energies well
As introverts we have an excellent ability to observe, listen and reflect.
But this also means that our mind is always on the move, as one creative studio open 24 hours a day; a condition that can generate quite a lot stress.
It is therefore essential for us to be able to obtain regular income pause within the day, the week and the entire annual cycle.
Here's how to do it GetPersonalGrowth:
- Organize your calendar around moments of regeneration and not around work commitments. I know, this solution may seem extreme and counterintuitive, but when breaks become fixed and indispensable appointments for you, your productivity at work and in study will also benefit.
- Choose your favorite physical activity carefully. You prefer disciplines that restore calm and energy and not sports that exhaust you completely.
- Free yourself from emotional vampires. Learn to use your excellent analytical skills to understand which situations and people are sucking your energy and… get rid of them!
- Set clear boundaries. Finally, learn not to be always available. Whether it's replying to emails or messages, check them and reply only at predefined times, rather than always being on alert.
2) Prevent others from taking advantage of you
As introverts we generally love harmony and hate conflict.
However, diplomacy is not always the best solution.
In fact, the risk is that the others take advantage of our availability to always come out to meet people.
The secret here is learning how to cultivate a healthy one assertiveness, that is the ability to:
"Defend their own interests, affirm your own point of view and express your own pensieri, with ease, without anxiety and in respect for others".
I wrote an entire in-depth article on the subject, full of practical advice.
You find it clicking here.
3) Don't confuse being introverted with being insecure
One of the main goals of this article of mine is to make you understand that being introverted is not a sentence! On the contrary…
We have seen together how many of the greats of history were or are introverts and I showed you the 4 special skills of the Lonely Knight.
Yet statistically an introvert tends to be more insecure than an extrovert.
This happens because from an early age they wanted to convince us that there was something wrong with us, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with us.
We must therefore learn to embrace our introversion, on the one hand, and on the other hand work on our insecurity, on the other hand, finally becoming aware that the two do not necessarily overlap.