If you don't trust yourself, no one else will have it in your place.
You may have all the tools you need to accomplish your goals, but if you don't believe in yourself you will fail.
I don't know how many times I've read this sentence in personal growth manuals and do you know what I thought each time? “What para-asses these para-gurus! In the end, if the strategies they propose do not work, it is always my fault that I did not believe it enough! So everyone is good! ". Yet the link that exists between is undeniable success e self-confidence.
If you don't believe in it, but especially if you don't believe in yourself, any effort will be in vain. In short, self-confidence, the so-called self-esteem, is the Plot on which you build the castle of your successes: if this ground is fragile, inconsistent and muddy, your "castle" will come down at the first rain (read: challenge of life).
But there is good news: as much as we may be convinced to the contrary, self-confidence is not innate; it is one of the many mental qualities that we can develop, strengthen and increase by applying the right strategies. I have in mind at least 16 of these practical self-esteem strategies. What do you say, let's take a look? ;-)
Practical strategies increase self-esteem
1. Keep your promises. We lose faith in ourselves when we fail to keep our promises for too long. On January 1st (or after returning from vacation) we promise to get back in shape and inevitably we find ourselves a year later fatter and more unmotivated than ever. If you want to have greater self-esteem, make few promises to yourself, make them realistic and above all keep them.
2. Set yourself a small goal and achieve it. Many para-gurus argue that to be successful in life you have to set yourself ambitious goals: ni! If for too long you have set yourself goals that you have not met on time, giving yourself yet another impossible goal is the sure way to failure. Goals only work if they help you to trigger a virtuous circle in which each goal achieved is followed by a reward that motivates you to achieve even more important goals: I call it the little algorithm of success. If you want to create this virtuous circle too, stop giving yourself goals that you don't even believe in: give yourself a small goal, a close goal in time, but do everything to achieve it. The goals we set ourselves must be consistent with the direction we want to follow in our life: if you don't know which way to turn, you can start from these 10 questions.
3. Change a little habit. Speaking of small goals: do you want to go back to believing in yourself? Change your daily habit. Stop making those radical change-of-life shit in the "January 1" style: they are not needed by a beloved fried chip. Choose one, and only one, small habit that you want to eliminate, change or establish; dedicate 30 days to it and move on to the next habit. If you don't know how and where to start, read on this post.
4. Train. If you don't exercise regularly, here's habit # 1 that will help you regain your confidence and ultimately change your life. Constantly training is something that goes far beyond health, well-being and physical fitness: sport is a school of life. Any physical activity requires resilience, determination, motivation. Everything you learn between the machines of a gym, the tubs of a swimming pool and the streets of a marathon can then be found on the benches of the university or on the desk of your office. Train your muscles to strengthen your spirit. Don't feel like spending money on gym membership? there an effective training program with which to establish this new habit from home. No excuses.
5. Smile. Can you do anything to solve your problems? Smile and do it. Can't you do anything to fix them? Smile and don't care. In short, do not forget to smile: it is a gesture as simple as it is effective for improving your mood and giving a boost to your self-esteem.
6. Apply the 3 minute rule. Sometimes it takes a damn little to regain self-confidence; to be exact, in my experience, in some cases 3 minutes or so may be enough. Do not you believe it? Read yourself this article.
7. Be grateful. I've told you before about the power of gratitude. Yet too many people still believe that being thankful is a new age thing for poor gullible people. For the past 5 years, I have been writing in my diary every night 3 things that I was grateful for during the day: it changed my life. If you learn to focus on what's working in your life, instead of always complaining like a whiner, your self-esteem will inevitably rise.
8. Focus on solutions. I'll tell you a secret: we all have problems. I know that feeling you are the most unlucky human being in the world is something you are particularly proud of, but keep telling you how much your life sucks it will hardly help you regain self-confidence. Rather than obsessively thinking about your problems, learn to focus on possible solutions to those problems.
9. Help someone. It is surprising how the most anxious and insecure people are always focused on themselves, while the more serene and self-confident ones take care of others. I am not saying that you have to become a volunteer for Africa, but instead of always feeling sorry for yourself, sincerely care for others, listen to them and try to help them. "André, I always worry about others, but it's the others who don't care about me!" gnegnegné gnegnegné. How I can't stand this sentence! Helping someone just because we expect that someone to reciprocate is something terribly self-righteous and selfish. Help someone selflessly.
10. Read. How many books do you read in a year? 10? 5? 1? Nobody?! Nah, Ikea instructions don't matter. They exist at least 5 great reasons to read 52 books a yearBut numbers aside, the more you read, the more ideas you develop. The more ideas you develop, the more projects you make. The more projects you do, the more… your self-confidence grows. Read. Point.
11. Learn to study. When we are prepared on a topic, we feel confident in ourselves. This is why knowledge improves our self-esteem. Not only that, it also works in reverse: the more confident we are of our means, the better our academic performance. Too often I am contacted by students who spend whole months on books and then postpone the exam session to the last, fearing they are not sufficiently prepared (ooops, I caught you!). Do you want to have more confidence in yourself? Get ready. Do you want to be better prepared? Learn to study.
12. Act positive. The “Think Positive” was one of the many personal growth catchphrases in the 80's-90's. The truth is, positive thinking doesn't make a difference. What really makes the difference is to act positively, that is, to act towards our goals. When you learn to act and act differently than usual, you become a different person, a more confident and confident person. Not sure where to start? there 5 practical actions which for me have proved to be really effective.
13. Stop procrastinating. Do you want to feel better about yourself? Think about something you've been putting off for too long and do it first thing in the morning. If you can't, apply the vacuum strategy.
14. Make your bed. Everything is fine André, but what the hell is making the bed with self-confidence ?! Living in a chaotic environment because you are stupid, er ... creative, let's face it, is a put -? * $ Ta. The truth is that we are damn lazy and the more we let ourselves go, the more our self-esteem drops. Try making the bed shortly after waking up: it is a simple gesture, but with unexpected implications; there are even those who have revolutionized their lives starting from this gesture.
15. Fake it till you make it. This American saying that literally means "pretend until you succeed" has a much more solid psychological basis than you might think. One of the tricks used in cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy to help those suffering from lack of self-esteem, but also anxiety and panic attacks, consists precisely in pushing the patient to act as if he had no type of disorder, applying what is called the "as if" technique. Think about the person you would like to become 1 year from now and start acting… “as if” you were already that person.
16. Deal with a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Cool coaches would say "get out of your comfort zone". The point is that self-esteem is built layer by layer, memory by memory. We have confidence in ourselves and in our means, if we have the memory in our memory of past situations successfully faced. If every time you are faced with an uncomfortable situation, you run away (or avoid it as psychologists would say), inevitably your brain begins to convince itself that you are not able to deal with that situation: you deny it. As soon as you get the chance, gradually deal with situations that make you uncomfortable. Look fear in the eye and let it know who's in charge.
If you have little faith in yourself and in your skills, choose just one of these 16 strategies and try to put it into practice this week. Changes never happen in a single day, but any change begins on a specific day. Today could be that day. It's up to you (as the para-gurus would say!).