Last update: 17 September, 2020
Do you believe that one is born with a certain self-esteem? Do you think that loving yourself is important for our daily life? Is it possible to help the children with low self-esteem? In this article you will find the answers.
Self-esteem is the fundamental piece of the puzzle for each of us, as it allows us to build our whole ego. For this reason, it is important to work with it from an early age. This is why it is very important to make children with low self-esteem understand that they need to value themselves. Self-esteem is the key to building a stable foundation and will enable them to cope with the most critical moments, instead of wavering.
Factors that undermine the growth of children with low self-esteem
Often some of our attitudes, instead of helping children with low self-esteem, undermine their self-confidence. Let's analyze them.
- Praise and reward children for actions that are not dependent on them. For example, being beautiful or being tall. This will not allow the children to develop their skills. They will not feel proud of their work and it will foster low self-esteem.
- Relieve the children of any responsibility. This happens when everything is done for them, without them having to strive to improve. It also happens when they are not taught to be aware of their inner world, nor of the consequences of their decisions. By acting in this way, they will not realize the value of things done well. They will not be able to take responsibility for their feelings, nor for the consequences that come from their actions.
- Don't show affection to your children. Unconditional love makes children stronger. If they feel loved and pampered, they will develop good self-esteem. That way, they will grow up knowing that their actions may be good or bad, but there will always be someone who will love and protect them.
- Do not allow children to express themselves. When we don't give ourselves the opportunity to express what we feel inside, we don't really know ourselves. We therefore do not have the tools to build a good image of ourselves. As a result, a child who is prevented from expressing their opinions and emotions will develop low self-esteem.
As we see, it is essential to educate with respect and love, using sincere and clear communication. This will allow children to grow up with healthy self-esteem. For this purpose, however, it is important to understand what self-esteem means. Let's explore it together.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the evaluative perception of ourselves. It's about how we value our person. A process that begins in childhood and continues throughout evolutionary development. Self-esteem is the action of valuing, loving and prioritizing ourselves. It is the self-love that we profess.
Self-esteem allows us to recognize ourselves in the mirror and love what we see. Good self-esteem is a stable foundation on which to build. When this fails, all that we are fails.
Children with low self-esteem have not learned to love each other outside of their actions. They haven't learned to value themselves. If they fail on the first try, they don't make an effort to try again. They don't know what long-term goals are and they won't learn to love another person, because they don't even love themselves.
Children with low self-esteem will be adults who will suffer if they do not find solutions to their problems. Their emotionality will trigger states of malaise, dependence on others and self-contempt. They will not be prepared for the world because they have not developed unconditional love for themselves. It is as if they are invisible to their eyes.
Self-esteem allows us to develop with love and security. It helps us create a good image of us that we will project in all of our relationships. It is our greatest treasure and for this we must take care of it and work for it. We must dedicate the time it deserves and indulge it. A good development and a good construction of self-esteem will allow us to grow calmly.
Children with low self-esteem grow up in a lack of confidence, appreciation and self-confidence.
Can we help children with low self-esteem?
Self-esteem is built from an early age. The first words we dedicate to our children influence their development. Because of this, we must be aware of the importance of the language we use and of everything we project onto them. Children use models to build themselves little by little, and these models are represented by the adults who will accompany them during the first years of life.
Is what one learns in childhood immutable? Fortunately no. Ideally, we all grow up in an environment where there is a secure bond of attachment, unconditional love, the feeling of protection, and the ability to explore. Those who do not have this luck, however, will not develop good self-esteem. They will have to work in the future to rebuild their image.
Thus, children with low self-esteem will have to face trials again and understand that it is possible to fail. They will have to realize that they are important and that they are much more than their actions. What defines them are not actions, but their whole as persons. They will find out that they must assert themselves, that self-love requires patience. Finally, they will have to understand that if they fail sometimes, they will always be able to try again.
If our self-esteem is safe, then we will be able to develop everything else on a secure basis. For this reason, developing healthy self-confidence is one of the most important processes in our life.