How to choose a partner for life

Who I am
Joe Dispenza

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Decades ago, many marriages were made for convenience and people stayed together "until death separated them." But not because they loved each other, but because there was no divorce or it was frowned upon. However, the interesting thing is that most people continue to view marriage as something that must last a lifetime, when in reality, according to statistics, it lasts on average six years.

Each couple has their story, their conflicts and difficulties, but one of the key factors that derail most love relationships is the haste when it comes to choosing a partner, or taking the plunge by inertia, carried away by circumstances. . However, for the relationship to work, before finally compromising ourselves, we would have to ask ourselves some questions that we never think about enough.

What is essential is invisible to the eye

- Look at your partner with the eyes of the soul. Close your eyes, imagine that you are blind and have never seen your partner. What do you feel? What stands out about him / her? Do you like what you see? In our society we let ourselves be carried away by what we see with our eyes, but we hardly ever look inside people. It is true that physical attraction is important, but that is not all, especially when looking for someone to live a life together with.

- Seek openness and learning ability. A popular saying goes "the ignorant is not very tolerant" and is not wrong. Don't try to change the person, but make sure they have an open attitude towards life and are willing to learn. Over the years, the couples who stay together are the ones who know how to adapt and manage to evolve.

- Share passions. Memories are the "glue" that binds the couple. Remembering the good and bad times we lived together brings people together. However, when two people are very different and don't have common passions they will struggle to build those pleasant memories. Therefore, the odds of the relationship breaking up at the first crisis are very high.

- Seek tolerance and understanding. Every couple goes through difficult times and we all make mistakes. In these cases, if the person by your side is not tolerant, the rift in the relationship will deepen and deeper. Of course, every person has their limitations, it's not about accepting everything and becoming a doormat, but you should be able to adopt a positive attitude and be willing to invest emotionally in the relationship.

- Strong as a tree, sensitive as a flower. The partner is the person to seek support in in the most difficult times, so it is important that he is strong enough to support us when we are about to pass out. However, strength will be of no use if it turns into possession. Therefore, it is also important that the person is sensitive enough to know how they can help you. There are times when you don't need to say or do anything, you just need to exist. Sensitivity allows you to understand when it is appropriate to approach and when it is better to take a step back.

- Someone you can tell everything to. The partner doesn't just have to be a lover, they also have to be a friend. Therefore, ask yourself: Can I confide anything to this person? Will you be willing to listen to me? Is he understanding and does he share my values? If you can't trust your partner and aren't comfortable talking about some issues, you're probably not ready to take the plunge yet, or maybe the person isn't your soulmate.

- A person who shows his feelings. In a society that has taught us to hide what we feel, it is very difficult to find people who are able to express their emotions in an assertive way and who compromise without reservation in the relationship. Most people are afraid to express their feelings, especially when it comes to love, because they think that this amounts to putting themselves in the other's hands. Yet, this is precisely one of the keys to the success of lasting couples: the ability to emotionally undress in front of the other. Only in this way can two people connect deeply and build a solid relationship.

PS Choose someone who makes your life bigger, not smaller.

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