The problem is that emotional vampires not only cause us momentary discomfort, but, by dint of dealing with them day after day, they cause us great stress and anguish, not only emotionally, but also physically. In fact, we cannot forget that emotions are contagious and that negative emotional states maintained over time can give rise to numerous diseases. So the first step in dealing with emotional vampires is learning to tell them apart.
7 types of emotional vampires
People who feed on the energy of others often use emotional manipulation to achieve their goals. They approach others to extract their energy and empty their load of negativity, once done, they move on to the next victim without feeling any shame or remorse. The point is that these people have very little empathy, are extremely selfish and unable to put themselves in the other's place for even a second.
However, there are different types of emotional vampires, and not all of them act in the same way:
- Pessimistic vampires. It is the typical person who sees the world in gray, for her everything is negative and groped to show him that it is not so is actually an impossible task since he always has a topic at hand to prove that his life and his world are not worth it. If we maintain a long relationship with one of these people, this can succeed in making us adopt his negative and pessimistic view, depriving us of the joy of living and hope.
- Catastrophic vampires. She is the kind of person who goes beyond pessimism, for her every event acquires colossal negative proportions. His conversation revolves solely on the disasters and misfortunes that have occurred or may occur, albeit quite unlikely. For this person, living means facing a long chain of imminent dangers so that it takes just ten minutes of conversation to exhaust us and only serves to infect us with this distorted view of the world.
- Vampires who complain. This is the typical person who complains about everything, complains when it rains and when there is too much sun, when his economy is bad and when it is good. In her you will never find support for any problem, yours will always be infinitely smaller than hers. In fact, she uses you to let off steam, and she's never willing to listen to you when you need them. It is likely that one day you will come to her with a problem but you will end up comforting her because the grass in her garden has dried up.
- The picky vampires. These people always have something to object to everything you say, but not with good intentions, but only to awaken a feeling of inferiority in you, and of course they always say to do it "for your own good". Spending a day with these people involves listening to an endless series of criticisms because nothing suits them; from dinner to movies, not to mention your behavior. Their rigidity in evaluating anything is only annoying and distressing.
- The sarcastic vampires. This person hides behind a joke to throw his poison dart. At first glance his words may seem funny, but in reality they contain a sarcastic and even cruel comment, the trap is that you can't take offense, because "it's just a joke". Their main goal is to undermine your self-esteem by launching a series of wry comments that end up hitting you where it hurts you the most. Interacting with these people is like being constantly in battle, waiting for the next blow.
- Aggressive vampires. In this case, the person reacts violently disproportionately to the slightest stimulus. Any word or the slightest gesture can cause a storm and you feel like you are constantly walking on a tightrope. Seeing yourself forced to measure every sentence and calibrate every gesture, relating to these people is deeply tiring.
- The helpless vampires. This is the most difficult emotional vampire to recognize as he is not aggressive, on the contrary, he constantly asks you to help him because he is unable to provide for himself. So he makes you feel so bad that you put yourself at his disposal, but there comes a point where his problems have used up all your energy. It is a person who steals your time, invades your space and damages your relationships, but forgets about you when you need it.
How do emotional vampires work?
To exercise their power, emotional vampires need two essential conditions: proximity and time. That is, they need to establish some emotional bonds with the person to know his weaknesses and be able to guide him where they want. Thus the most harmful emotional vampires are found in our environment, in the family, among friends or our own partner. Furthermore, the closer the relationship, the more difficult it will be to find out and the greater the damage.
Often these people humiliate their victim but always have a good excuse or alibi available to explain their side of the story and pretend to be good people. In fact, in the eyes of others they can even adopt the role of the victims, when in reality they are the executioner.
However, it is clear that in many cases this pattern of behavior is not aware. That is, the emotional vampire behaves automatically, without thinking too much about the consequences of his actions, because perhaps it is the only way he knows of relating, a relational style that perhaps he has learned from his parents or developed as a defense mechanism in front of him. to traumatic situations experienced in the past.
Obviously, the fact that they are not fully aware that they are robbing us of our energy is not a good reason to allow them to act with impunity. So, if you escape a person without knowing why, if it costs you to return a phone call or if the mere thought of meeting someone is exhausting, you are probably facing an emotional vampire. Then activate your radar and do not fall into its net.