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    What to write to the ex to win her back, or to an ex to make him come back?

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    Louise Hay
    @louisehay
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    What to write to the ex to win her back? What to write to an ex to get him back with you?

    Relating with the ex partner is never easy: there are always many emotions at stake, and delicate situations to be managed. And if the goal is the reconquest, you will agree with me that the thing becomes even more complicated and we cannot absolutely rely on chance.

    Regardless of your starting situation, and whether you are a man or a woman, in this article you will find many interesting ideas to formulate messages to send to the ex. I will explain what to write to the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend, whether you want to reopen contacts in friendship, whether you want to win back.



    But I must warn you that a simple message will not be enough to win back the ex. If you broke up it means that something had broken between you two, and to recover it it will be necessary to put in place a precise plan of reconquest, which takes into account the specific problems related to your relationship.

    Okay, we're almost ready to get started, and find out what to write to the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend, but I want to invite you first to take a quick online test to check your chances of winning back.

    It only takes two minutes to complete: you will have to answer 15 simple questions about your relationship with your ex partner, and you will instantly get a result expressed as a percentage. This data will come in very handy later on.


    What to write to the ex to win her back

    Here I want to present a prime example of what to write to the ex to win her back. We will focus on a male case, but it is also possible to use it in reverse parts, that is, if you are a girl and you want to know what to write to an ex to get him back with you.


    The message I am about to offer you is very powerful, but you can only use it if she is disappointed from some of your behavior, or undecided what to do. For example, it's great if you break up after a stupid fight.

    You absolutely cannot use this message if she is convinced of her decision, too angry, if she has lost interest in you, or if it has already been too long since she left you. This is what you will write to her:

    The initial part of the sentence, up to "I'm sorry", should obviously only be used if you actually did something that hurt her.


    If the reasons for her leaving you are different, you can adapt the sentence to your particular case, but I always recommend that you show understanding towards the way she feels, and recognize your responsibilities for the end of your story (with elegance).

    Here's why this sentence is very effective:

    • it makes her understand that you take your responsibility and even apologize if necessary
    • you show that you understand it and are willing to put in the effort to make things work
    • you create an equal dynamic, in which you too must commit
    • you show that you care
    • take the lead as a real man
    • you show that you are also willing to close it if things don't work out within 3 months

    Temporary closing message or letter

    If, on the other hand, the break-up is more serious, or after being left you have turned into a doormat in an attempt to win it back, the strategy to follow will be completely different.


    In this situation the best thing to do, even if it may seem counter-intuitive, is to write to her that you are in favor of breaking up, and then disappear for a while. I talk about it in depth in chapter 5 of my ebook.

    Huh? Are you crazy? I want her back !!

    I know you want her back, but do you think that crawling and becoming a doormat, or asking her a thousand times sorry, leads to any result? If you keep looking for it, you will only push it further away from you. For this you have to put in place the no contact principle (pnc), a concept that you will already be familiar with if you have read the other articles on my blog.


    We come to us now. You must usher in a period in which you will not feel at all, which will be an excellent opportunity for you work on yourself, feel better again and take back your life and your happiness.

    Later, when you are ready, you can make up for it by showing yourself completely renewed and confident, with a very good chance of regaining it.

    The best way to get out of this first stage is to send her a message, a closing letter or email (momentary). However, we must distinguish two cases: did she leave you because she lost interest or because you deeply disappointed her for something you did (for example a betrayal)?


    In any case, it will not be sufficient to make a copy and paste. I advise you to take the messages I propose as a starting point, but to adapt them to your particular case.

    What to write to the ex who has lost interest

    What to write to the disappointed ex

    How to write a letter to the ex

    As an alternative to these messages, you can send her a handwritten letter, or to a computer. The effect will be even more amazing, and you will have more space to include everything you want to convey.

    The letter is a very powerful tool in a path of reconquest, and I talk about it in depth in this article, which I invite you to read.

    How to rewrite to an ex or an ex after the pnc

    Now that the no-contact period has passed and you feel like a better, renewed person, you will want to know what to write to the ex to reconnect with her, or how to rewrite an ex to win him back.

    I advise you to start with something intriguing, original, positive, and at the same time very light. The ideal would be to take a cue from something that made you think of her, and that it meant something in your relationship. Something she associates with very positive memories. Let's see an example of what to write to the ex:

    Here's why such a message works so well:

    • you tell her that you have been thinking about her (but not that you are constantly thinking about her)
    • you push her to remember a good thing about your relationship, and to miss you
    • lay the foundations for building a pleasant and light conversation

    In the ebook you will find many more examples of what to write to a girl to win her back, along with an explanation of what you need to do based on how she responds to you.

    Of course there is also the female version of the ebook, which will explain to you in detail what to write to an ex to win him back. In fact, you must know that male and female psychology have many differences, and it is not possible to trace a method of reconquest exactly the same for both sexes.

    What to write to an ex after a long time

    Let's conclude with another important case: you want to recontact your ex, but you haven't heard from each other for a long time (a few months). In this case, how to recreate a line of contact between you and her without looking unnatural and strange?

    In this case it will be useful to start from a particular occasion, such as his birthday, an anniversary or a piece of news you have learned about him. That will be the excuse for hang up button, but then you'll need to dig deeper into the message so you don't leave your ex indifferent and get her to strike up a conversation with you. Let's see an example:

    How to continue?

    I've given you some ideas on what to write to the ex or what to write to the ex based on the situation and stage of your relationship. In this way you will be able to enormously increase the probability of reconquest.

    I am sure you will make good use of it, but I want to remind you that it is essential to see everything in a broader context, that is that of your reconquest strategy, which cannot be based only on a few sentences said at the right moment.

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