Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon who works in the field of personal image, once said that "having low self-esteem is like walking the path of life with the brake constantly on". And the truth is that he wasn't wrong, because you can have all the tools you need to achieve any goal you set out to do but if you don't trust your abilities you will probably fail.
However, it's worth remembering that success doesn't just depend on our self-confidence, that's not enough to be successful. However, if trust is lacking, the path will be much more difficult and it will be easier for us to give up.
But there is good news: it is possible to develop self-confidence. Like?
- Set small goals and make them come true. The person who does not trust his abilities usually needs evidence to show that he can achieve the goals he has set himself. So, nothing better than setting small goals and doing what you can to achieve them. This will allow us to get out of the vicious circle of frustration and despair into which we have fallen. To the extent that we achieve the most ambitious goals, our confidence will increase. At first it may be necessary to start with small goals and little by little, as our self-confidence increases, we can also raise the bar. Remember that, more than anything else, it is about reprogramming the idea of failure we have created in our minds.
- Change a habit. Once we have achieved these smaller goals, we are ready to go a step further. Think of a habit you've always wanted to change and make an effort to replace it with a healthier and more useful one. Of course, we don't want to start by proposing to quit smoking or watch TV and go for a run every day. The change needs to be gradual, so instead of going for a run every day, you can start doing it at least twice a week or reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke each day. Remember that you often fail to reach your goals because they are too ambitious and present themselves as an insurmountable mountain, but if you divide them into small steps to be taken progressively everything will be easier. The mountains are climbed slowly, patiently, one step at a time.
- Deal with a situation that makes you uncomfortable. We all avoided situations simply because they were uncomfortable. Maybe we have waited weeks to talk to our office manager or wait for the right time to say something to our partner. This is finally the time to take the bull by the horns and face the situation. Postponing does not solve the problems, on the contrary, it only serves to accentuate them. Even if the desired solution is not achieved, at least we will be off the hook, and this will make us proud and more confident.
- Focus on the solution. Often the lack of confidence comes from negative thoughts about the possible consequences of our decision. We come to conceive apocalyptic and surreal images that have little to do with reality. Therefore, focus on objective data and eliminate all apocalyptic ideas from your mind. Keep in mind that we normally have a tendency to exaggerate the emotional impact of events and this only serves to discourage us and make us lose confidence in ourselves.
- Help someone. If you are an insecure person, chances are you are constantly focused on yourself. However, if you want to increase your self-esteem you need to shift the focus of attention to others. Look around and if you see someone who needs your help don't hesitate to offer it to them. You will be surprised to find out how these small gestures of solidarity will help to increase your self-confidence.