Overcoming shyness in seven steps

Who I am
Robert Maurer


Author and references

Fear, tension, anxiety, stuttering, cold sweats,
mental block… these are just some of the sensations they perceive
shy people every day; especially when they have to face
new situations in which strangers are involved.

La shyness
is a problem facing millions of people around the world for
such as the simple fact of having to meet a public employee to perform
a very banal bureaucratic practice is cause for great anxiety. Fortunately, with
a little help from a professional and with a lot of willpower,
these people can overcome shyness and live a more relaxed life. Some essential rules for overcome shyness I'm:1. Accept
. Most shy people complain
for their own behavior and this only reinforces the idea of ​​an image
negative personal. That is, let's imagine that our "I" is like a
small child who sometimes behaves shyly. If we tell him
continuously: "you are shy, you are not capable of doing anything!", we will do nothing else
which reinforce the negative image. On the contrary, if we accept it, there
we worry to understand the reasons of our "child", to know which ones
it is the situations that cause him tension and how they can be solved; in
this way we will be much more effective. This is exactly what we should do with the
our internal "I". We have to accept that some situations lead us to
react in a shy way but we will also have to try to understand why and which one
would be the best way to overcome this shyness.
2. Be introspective. Once accepted
that shyness is not a label that we will have to carry on throughout
life but rather a peculiar way of reacting to environmental stimuli, it is
Now is the time to figure out where it came from. At this point it is vital that you don't
we self-deceive and do everything we can to answer frankly
these questions: I am shy because I have very low self-esteem
(or very high) and I'm afraid of making a bad impression in front of others?
I am shy because there has always been someone to mine
side who solved problems for me? In short, the essential thing is that everyone is capable of
get to the essence of his shyness because the better we know each other the more
we will quickly move towards the solution.
Plan a challenge
. Convince yourself that shyness is a characteristic
immovable personality will serve no purpose, it will only give us the role
of spectators of our own life. On the contrary, if we experience shyness
as a challenge we will be taking the reins of ours in our hands
Destiny Many times shyness is a problem but
this does not mean that there is no solution. Experience this emotion like
an opportunity to grow as a person and to overcome your fears.
4. Make a
step by step.
At this point in the reading, probably many
people who wish to overcome shyness will be willing to jump into it
melee and face the world. But this is not the wisest attitude. Personal transformations take time; And
always better to take one step at a time. Always plan for little ones
goals to be accomplished from time to time and always rejoice whenever
you get one. Facing fears all at once can be too much
difficult, and many fail, so they end up convincing themselves that there is
they will never succeed. On the contrary, distribute the fears in small stages on the
path will be much less demanding.
5. Search
the occasions
. Sometimes people set out to overcome the
shyness but often run away (consciously or not) from situations that
they presuppose a challenge. Any moment is good for overcoming shyness, either
at the bus stop, at work or at the park. It is just about
take advantage of it to take a step forward.
6. Accept
mistakes with a sense of humor
. The first steps will not be easy and probably there
they will make you nervous, stammer, or say something you didn't mean to say. It is something
normal which is part of the learning process. Instead of complaining
laugh about it. Knowing how to laugh at yourself is a wonderful exercise that helps us
to gain trust and security.7. Accept
our place in the world.
A joke that goes around among us psychologists says
that we are all convinced that we are special, that we are "the one in ten"
while in reality we are all part of the other "nine". This idea turns out
particularly important for shy people as these are usually
they think that others will eternally remember their mistakes. However, the
reality is very different given that the majority of the people around us
it has no interest in analyzing all our defects in order to register them
into one's memory. Becoming aware that we are not the center of the universe
it is important for all those who wish to overcome shyness since
this will allow them to assume their responsibilities with a
much more relaxed attitude.
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