All
we ask ourselves continuously new destinations
that push us to go beyond the limits of our current strengths. These new
goals are almost always challenges that help us grow and presuppose
large doses of compromise and hard work. Either way, sometimes not
we reach these goals because we ourselves sabotage ourselves just because we have
fear of change.
The forms in which we self-sabotage are different, but they all hide beliefs
erroneous about ourselves or the fear of change and compromise: 1. "It won't work ..."
Each time we set new goals, the doubt arises: we will succeed
in order to reach them? will we be capable enough? we count with the
adequate resources…? These doubts generate fear. And fear leads us to
consider everything as black or white, right or wrong; in conclusion,
we will only think about whether or not we will reach the goal, whether we will win or lose but
we do not consider all the intermediate path that it undoubtedly includes
changes and opportunities for challenge and growth. When
we aim to achieve a new goal instead of thinking this
new idea will not work, we should think that "we will learn something new". 2. "It's too late ..."
Of course, there are dozens of variables to this thought, such as: "I'm too old", "I'm too weak", "I've already had this opportunity once and
I let her escape ". These are just excuses we ask ourselves why we have
fear of change. AND
sure that every stage of life is different but that just means that
we will face the challenges with a different attitude. Whenever it attacks us
this thought we should replace it with the idea: "I will have another opportunity". 3. "I can't do it, I'm too much ..." Il
the world around us has taught us to label everything. Everything that
we see it has its own label and therefore, we too have ours. So when
as we grow up we have already prepackaged our limitations (very often
imposed by others) who tell us that we are not very intelligent, not very smart
persevering, not very creative and so on. To
anyway, it is certain that we can change at any moment and perhaps the person who
it is not very persevering it will simply need a goal to motivate it. When
we think that we cannot do something because it is not within our capabilities
all we have to do is change this idea with: “I will learn to do it”. 4. "I'll do it later ..."
This is probably the most common form of self sabotage. There
procrastination. When a goal is too complex or we have
fear of the repercussions of the same, we simply tend to postpone it. However,
we must keep in mind that if we postpone we will probably continue to
put off for life until the time comes when the goal that
we have proposed it loses its meaning. To stop self sabotaging the first
step is to learn to accept our thoughts as real and the second, to be
affectionate with ourselves. We must not complain for being afraid, for
to doubt or to have a tendency to postpone, these emotions are human, the important thing
is to face them as if they represent a challenge.
