How to talk to teenagers about sex

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Louise Hay
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How to talk to teenagers about sex

Last update: 15 September, 2022

Talking about sex to a teenager is a delicate but necessary issue. For educators, especially parents, it can be terrifying. However, what is truly disturbing is not knowing the source and conditions under which a young person receives this type of information.

Although it may be difficult, sexuality is a topic that needs to be talked about. Teens want to know more about sex, but most of them often feel embarrassed to talk to adults about it, especially with their parents and teachers. Addressing the issue correctly has many advantages for everyone.



Talking about sex to adolescents helps them become aware of the physical and emotional risks, ensuring that they have a basis from which to begin the exploration of their sexuality.

Feel comfortable talking about sex

Talking about sex shouldn't be an embarrassing topic. While it may be difficult at first, that embarrassment should eventually go away. Young people present doubts, receive contradictory information and find themselves exposed to a multitude of experiences. In reality, teens want to have someone to talk openly about sex with.

If young people get used to talking to adults about their sexuality, they will then be able to talk to their partners as well. about what they like and what they don't want. In other words, it will make it easier for them to communicate, strengthen their self-esteem and make them less vulnerable.

On the other hand, talking about sex is a way to eliminate taboos, stimulating a healthy and honest sexuality. It also makes it possible to transmit family values ​​from a perspective based on conscious understanding and assimilation, not on an obligation imposed by fear and punishment.


Sharing readings and films is a good way to anticipate a teenager's questions and facilitates dialogue on such sensitive topics.

Sex is not a question of numbers

Sex is not a question of numbers: this is one of the first indications you should pass on to a teenager. Phenomena like Tinder or dating portals skew teens' views on sexuality and relationships, not to mention the amount of videos and publications they have at their fingertips.

Teens need to know that sexual success doesn't lie in quantity of people you are with, but it is a much deeper thing. In terms of sex, in fact, quantity is usually a factor of anxiety for teenagers.

One way to make this numbers game lose value is to talk to the boy about the amount of sexually transmitted diseases contracted by the people others "admire" so much, as well as unwanted pregnancies, unpleasant experiences, etc.

Show how to use a condom

Once the discussion about sex has begun, explaining to a teenager all the positive aspects of wearing a condom during sexual intercourse becomes the easier part. What can be a little more embarrassing is putting one in his hands and explain how to use it.

However, if you want him to use condoms, you must provide him with some and explain how to use them, so that you feel safe and make use of it. Many may think this is a way of encouraging teenage sex, but it isn't.

Showing a teenager using a condom gives him the opportunity to think about all the risks involved and the importance of doing things conscientiously.


Explain that "no" is a powerful word

Exploring one's sexuality is a natural thing, but no one is forced to do it against their will. Explain that there is no obligation to satisfy the other person because of fear: everyone has the right to decide for themselves. Learning that "no" is a powerful word it will show the teen that he must respect the other person's wishes as well and that any sexual relationship must be based on mutual respect.

Answer all his doubts

When you talk to a teenager about sex, you must avoid taboos and politically correct words. If he has any doubts, answer him without falling into dogmatism, do it openly and sincerely, without judging.


Never judge a teenager for his or her fears of sexuality, no matter what they are.

In this way, you will be able to become his referent. He will inevitably seek out more information and explore on his own, but at least you will give him the opportunity to have someone to talk to if doubts and fears arise.

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