Last update: 15 September, 2022
Some people think that sex is overrated in a relationship, while others feel that there are multiple reasons why it matters. Sex is a fundamental aspect of life as a couple, even if not everyone gives it the same weight. In reality, many of the problems between couples depend on the importance they place on sex or how often they should have sexual intercourse.
It may seem obvious to you, but over time people change and evolve, they begin to value other things. The way sexuality is viewed can also change, and that doesn't mean it matters less and less.
Sex and happiness
Studies reveal that couples of any age who live together are highly satisfied with their relationship and also have a good sex life. Couples who communicate and share moments together have also been shown to have better sex lives.
On the other hand, professionals and experts in relationship problems more or less agree that couples who do not have sex are unhappy, frustrated, depression, rejection, difficulty concentrating and low self-esteem.
A "sexless" couple is one who has sex 10 times a year. Curiously, several studies have found that large numbers of couples barely reach these numbers. Other research has shown that couples who don't have sex are more likely to file for divorce.
When it comes to sex, there are no "normal" parameters
Regarding the importance given to sex, it must be understood that there are no "normal" measures relating to sexual intercourse. Each pair is different. Some studies have revealed that happy couples have an average of 3 or 4 sexual intercourse per month, but this depends on each couple, how the sexual drive is maintained over the years, and many other factors.
The same importance given to sex can change over time. In a couple the way of practicing it changes and also changes, as do other aspects of the relationship.
For this reason, we must not underestimate the way in which sex is established in the relationship with the passage of time, understand what can vary and what the couple relationship really is like. If issues like communication or time sharing have changed, it will likely apply to sex life as well.
Getting to know each other and getting to know the other person is a never-ending job, so you shouldn't take very important issues for a couple's life, such as sexuality, for granted. The key thing is to keep listening and learning from each other.
There is no reason to feel guilty
There is no reason to feel guilty because you ask for what you want or because you don't want what the other asks. Communication is essential. Many people may refuse sex simply because it doesn't satisfy them or because there is something they don't like. Talking is the best way to solve problems.
For a relationship to work as far as sexuality is concerned, it is necessary to understand each other, to talk without feeling guilty. Only in this way can sexual relations be truly enjoyable and, consequently, their frequency will also increase, creating a self-sustaining circle.
Sex is of vital importance in the couple
In a relationship, usually the only thing that is shared exclusively is sex. That means, sex is what makes a relationship different from that between two friends and two people who are together.
In addition, in the couple, sex is much more than fun, in fact it requires a deep level of communication. Sex in the couple requires talking about intimate emotional issues, it requires knowing the other, knowing what makes him feel good, respecting each other, giving and receiving. This means reaching a deeper level of trust that will then go beyond and involve other aspects of the couple's life.