Getting an ex back after months or years: 5 basic tips

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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wikipedia.org


How to get an ex back after months or even years? It's possible?

Perhaps at first it seemed to you that you had gotten over the end of the relationship with your ex and that you were able to move on, or at least you had set your sights on doing so. Instead, now that some time has passed you find yourself missing him often, and fantasizing about the idea of ​​getting back together.



Maybe instead you never stopped thinking about her: you kept looking for it or waiting for it, and several months have passed without you noticing it.

In any case, you are now wondering if it is possible to get an ex girlfriend back after months, or even after a year, or after years. And if it is possible, what exactly do you have to do?

First of all I want to tell you that it is possible, but not always, since it depends on many factors related to the type of story you had, and what happened in these months of separation. We will analyze all these factors together, to understand what your real chances of success are, and immediately after I will give you 5 tips on how to get an ex back after months.


Is it possible to get an ex back after months?

Assuming that every situation is different and has its unique peculiarities, if you want to establish whether it is possible to win back an ex after months, at least 2 main variables must be taken into consideration, which we will analyze below.



PS You can find out your odds via this online test. It only takes two minutes to complete: you will have to answer 15 simple questions about your relationship with your ex, and you will instantly get a result expressed as a percentage.

1. How long has it been?

Time is a key factor to consider: trying to win back an ex after 4 months or after 6 months is totally different from trying to win her back after a year or two.

As I explain in this article, there is a fundamental principle that applies in the matter of reconquest: the principle of no contact. It means that after being left, you need to leave room for your partner and not be heard for some time, focusing on self-improvement. After the period of no contact, it is possible to contact the ex again, and proceed with your own reconquest plan.

How long does it take to contact the ex again?


Generally the recommended period is around a month, but sometimes you have to wait longer.


Now you may be wondering if in your case you have let too much time pass, or if you still have a chance to get your ex back.

I can tell you that if they have passed 4 mesi or 6 mesi you are still definitely in time, and indeed you are in a privileged situation: probably all the rancor and negativity related to the end of your story have been overcome, while the beautiful memories and feelings are still present, waiting to be awakened.

After the 6-month threshold, however, the situation begins to get complicated because the feelings on his part may have cooled too much, and it could be difficult (but not impossible) to warm them up.

In any case, it all depends by duration and importance that your story has had, compared to this period in which you have not heard more. You will understand that if, for example, you have been together for three months, and you haven't heard from each other for a year, your chances of winning back will be very low.

My advice is to act immediately, because in any case you have already gone well beyond the no contact period. After the first 6 months of the end of your relationship, each additional day that passes sees your chances of winning back decrease, and the chances of her falling in love with someone else increasing and building a solid relationship with him.


Also win back ex after years it's still possible, and I've seen it happen several times. In this case, however, you will have to approach the relationship as if it were new, and conquer your ex like you did the first time.


2. Have you lost your dignity in his eyes?

A second point to consider is this: have you humiliated yourself and lost your dignity trying to convince her to come back with you? You showed yourself weak, fragile and in need?

We are human beings, not robots, so it is normal to let our sorrow and negative feelings leak out after being left behind.

However, the more you do it, and the longer you do it, the less likely you are to win it back.

If for all these months in which you are no longer together you have done nothing but write to her, stalk her, whine, give her gifts, try to convince her to come back with you, I assure you that you have lost any form of attraction against her, and it will be really difficult to win her back.

If, on the other hand, you reacted like a man, and maybe after a period of initial disbandment you managed to get back on your feet, you are still in the game. Read on ?

How to get an ex back after months

We are now ready to get down to business, and see what to do to win back an ex after months. I want to give you 5 very important tips, which could really make a difference in bringing the girl back to your side who, despite the passage of time, still love so much.

1. Contact her lightly

To win back an ex after months, the first step will obviously be to contact her again.

In a previous article of mine I have already dealt with the topic of the classics phrases to win back an ex girlfriend, explaining that it's not enough to text or use the right phrase at the right time to win a girl's heart back. It takes a lot more. If you are interested you can find the complete article here.

Therefore, take the view that you will not have to write a very elaborate or profound message to reconnect with your ex, but instead you will have to opt for a very light and innocent thing, which at the same time does not leave her indifferent.

Avoid writing her a simple "Hi, how are you?", Or any variation of the same. It is definitely better to have a legitimate reason to contact her again, so as not to arouse suspicion, not to put pressure on her and start the conversation with a specific topic to talk about. Example:

The goal of this first message is to start a pleasant and light conversation that you will have to try to evolve into a live friendly match (without absolutely letting her understand your intentions).

Texting her isn't the only solution, in fact, you might even try to meet your ex "casually" in a place you know she frequents. It can be in a supermarket, a coffee shop, a university, a club, a gym or any other place.

The aim is always the same: to re-establish contact and ask her to go out for a chat.

In my ebook I explain in great detail all the process you will have to follow to intrigue your ex, recontact her and make it evolve into an appointment. Thanks to the advanced tricks it contains you will ensure your success. Find it here.

2. Show yourself relaxed

When you are in front of your ex, it is vital that you are calm and relaxed. Always keep the conversation going casual and light. You have to make her remember the reasons why she fell in love with you, and this means that you have to highlight the friendliest and lightest sides of your personality.

3. Make her feel that you have improved

One of the goals of this meeting is that you have to show yourself as a "renewed" person compared to when you broke up. Now your life is more interesting, you do a lot more activities, hang out with good people, you have new interests, you are more positive and successful.

Don't say too many things explicitly, as if you want to prove something, but just let some information and some details leak out. Your ex will understand that you may have made mistakes with her in the past, but now you are more mature and interesting.

4. Remind her of positive facts about your story

As you talk, don't forget to recall some funny or positive facts from your time together. Always do it lightly, and without putting pressure on her. Instead, avoid talking about the breakup, arguments, or why you broke up.

Your goal at this stage is to bring the positive things back, leaving the negative ones behind. If you can get her to focus on the good memories she has with you, she will be on the same wavelength as you and rest assured that she will bring out more positive memories herself.

5. Flirting

Don't be afraid: if things are going well, flirt with us, as if you are on a first date with a new girl you like. Keep eye contact, make jokes, look at her lips without saying anything, touch it casually while you talk to us.

Never verbalize your intentions, but make them feel emotionally that you two are not just friends, and you never will be: you are much more! 

There is a sexual tension that could be cut with a knife. The same that has always been when things were going well between you.

I'm sure you have many other doubts and special cases that you would like to investigate, to which I have not given an answer through this article.

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