Useless People: How to part with them?

Useless People: How to part with them? "When love is tight on you it is because it is not your size". This sentence that I read somewhere has particularly impressed me because it summarizes everything in a few words. When we are in a shop and try on a pair of shoes or a dress, if they are small we immediately ask for a larger size, we immediately realize that the first ones are not our size and that we have to change them. they resolve in seconds, when it comes to interpersonal relationships we can even take years to figure it out. The problem is that we normally feel connected to people or to the experiences we have lived with them, even if they harm us or do not bring us anything. However, there are relationships that are "dying" and prolong the life their agony just means hurting themselves further for no reason, it's like constantly waving your finger in a sore to cause more pain. When a person no longer brings us anything the best thing to do is to separate from him, to let him go. In this way we will both be able to turn the page much more quickly and look back to the future.

The signs that a relationship has come to an end

- Interests have changed. Sometimes, during certain stages of life we ​​know people with whom we immediately feel in tune because we discover that we have tastes and interests in common. However, with the passage of time we all change and it is not difficult to develop different interests that distance us. When we feel that “nothing is the same anymore”, the time has come to reconsider the meaning of the relationship, especially if the other party has already decided that separation is the best choice.

- Agreements are impossible. There are relationships in which one of the parties asks for something different for which it is impossible to reach an agreement. In these cases, arguing becomes the norm, it turns into daily bread and ends by affecting the psychological balance of all the people involved. When instead of enjoying the time we spend in the company of the other we use it in endless discussions, it is time to break this relationship because it brings more negative than positive things.

- Trust is gone. In any type of relationship, both friendship and couple, trust and sincerity are fundamental pillars. When you stop trusting the other, you begin to develop a relationship based on doubt, uncertainty and distrust. This type of relationship is of no benefit to anyone and, over time, if trust is not restored it will only cause pain as both sides will likely get hurt.

- The burden of the relationship falls on one person only. When you perceive that you are the only person who struggles for the relationship to work, the one who carries all the problems on his shoulders because the other is not doing his part, then the time has come to put the final point. A relationship can only be satisfying if both parties compromise and are willing to change or work to solve problems. If only one of the parties takes care of all the problems of the relationship it means that the other has lost interest, and this means that it no longer makes sense to continue fighting for something that no longer exists.

Why do we cling to these kinds of relationships?

– Nostalgia. Many times we cling to a relationship simply because we have had good times and, when we remember them, we are assailed by nostalgia, a feeling that gives us a false sense of security. We prefer to simply stick to the past instead of looking to the future.

- Fear. Separating from a person who has been by our side for a long time can scare us, so that sometimes we prefer a "bad acquaintance to a good person to know". The idea that the future is uncertain and that we will not meet another person gives us such anguish that we prefer to keep the current state of affairs.

- Habit. Relationships that have lasted for years have gradually developed habits that have taken root around them. Abandoning these habits and choosing to change can be hindered by our laziness and, for this reason, we sometimes prefer to stay in our comfort zone, beside a person who really does not contribute anything anymore.

- Hope. Love almost always hides behind hope, in fact many people cling to relationships that have already ended simply because they have the hope that the other can change. However, always remember that a pear tree cannot be expected to produce apples.

Separating: A Liberating Process

When in a relationship it comes to the point where it no longer represents anything positive but rather has turned into tension, negativity and various problems, the best thing is to make the other leave. Contrary to what many might think, letting the other go is not painful but often liberating. After months of long arguments, disappointments and stress, putting the word "over" is a relief. Of course, this doesn't mean it's simple and even less easy, but it's often the only way to keep moving forward.

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