Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are

Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are

Do you admire the people you spend the most time with? The attitude of those around us influences our way of being. Let's see how.

Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are

Last update: June 16, 2022

Think about the five people you relate to the most, who you spend the most time with. How do they live? How do they think? Are they brave when making decisions? Are they trying to make their dreams come true? Are they empathic? Am I able to make mistakes and learn from them? Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are.

According to speaker Jim Rohn, each person is the average of the five closest people in their life. In other words, they influence us to the point that we end up resembling them both in the way we behave and act in life and in values ​​and thoughts.

The influence of the people around us

We often resemble those around us. 

At first glance, it might seem absurd. “I'm not like my brother at all”, “my partner and I are very different”.

We are not exact copies of the people we care about. Even so, by analyzing their personality traits, healthy or unhealthy habits, ways of expressing themselves or even of dressing, we will end up finding a wide range of similarities that we may not have noticed so far.

American thinker and author Jim Rohn said that we tend to look like the people around us. If we make a list of tastes, interests, hobbies, customs, knowledge or skills, we will find that we are a reflection of the people we spend most of our time with.

In turn, we also have some influence on others. There is something about us in every person that surrounds us, whether it's temperament, musical preferences or the way we deal with problems.

Psychologist David McClelland, known for his theory of needs and motivation, has discovered following extensive research that 95% of our successes and failures are linked to the person most dear to us.

For example, we are more likely to be physically active if our family members train frequently or to drink alcohol if our circle of friends does. Sounds logical, right?

Membership groups

The phenomenon repeats itself: we tend to imitate our partner or friends. The groups they belong to are fundamental for the formation of personal identity. We all need to feel that we belong to a community or a group. This way we feel comfortable and accepted.

We identify with and feel accepted by the groups (formal or informal) to which we belong on the basis of a feeling of solidarity with our fellow men.

At the same time, many times we think of having to change to belong to a group. Hence, we adopt aspects or qualities of group members with the ultimate goal of integrating.

What others do, think, reject or celebrate, consciously or unconsciously, affects our lives. At this point, the title of the article "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" seems to make more sense. The level of well-being in general terms is positively or negatively influenced by friends, family and colleagues study or work.

We are like sponges: we absorb the energy that surrounds us. If our environment is in a good mood most of the time, as it rejoices and focuses on the pleasant things in life, it will be easier for us to feel happy.

The same would happen the other way around: surrounded by grumpy and miserable people, it will be difficult for us to keep smiling.

Tell me who your friends are

Regardless of whether the contact is physical or virtual, the people who have the most influence on us will be the ones with whom we spend the most meaningful moments.

Considering the above, it would be advisable to be more careful in choosing the people we want to join. It is not a question of distancing ourselves from all those whom we do not admire to the fullest or become hermits, but rather being aware of the relationships we establish and maintain over time. We feed on them

Let us ask ourselves if they support or limit us, if we feel free in their company or if we tend to repress emotions and thoughts. If they are proud or ashamed of us.

We analyze the narrowest circle and evaluate if it makes it easier for us to achieve our goals. We can intentionally choose to surround ourselves with people who push us to be better. What bonds do we want to continue to cultivate? What kind of people would we like to bond with from now on?

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