Life is like a train. We share the wagon with many people, but we cannot make friends with all of them and some we do not even get to know them. There are those who annoy us or are unpleasant while others transmit a strong sympathy to us. There will be those who accompany us until the end of the race while others will get off first. Life, like this train, changes constantly, so grasping for what we consider immutable involves, in a certain way, the denial of reality.
Over the years you will have to say goodbye several times. Sometimes this goodbye will be very painful, but breaking this bond is essential to moving forward. Every time you say goodbye to someone you reconnect with yourself, in some way, because you need to find a new balance. This is not always bad, the real evil is being tied to people who hurt us, limit us and prevent us from growing.
The courage to break the bond
Saying goodbye does not always mean stopping seeing a person or forgetting about them, it simply means breaking the bond because precisely this relationship is the cause of the discomfort. When a person does not need you, when you are not as important as he / she is to you, the relationship will end and generate a huge emptiness. When you give too much and receive virtually nothing in return, you will end up drained, tired and disappointed.
Of course, it's not easy to break the bond. There are probably a lot of feelings involved, a story built together and perhaps plans for the future. But the rule is simple: when a person's presence causes more harm than good, when neither enjoys the other's company and the relationship produces more suffering than happiness, the time has come to reevaluate that relationship and have the courage to say goodbye.
Saying goodbye involves going through a painful process
Saying goodbye means experiencing a painful and not easy process, as it brings with it very intense emotions. The first step is to accept that we are no longer loved as before or we have stopped being important and occupy a significant place in that person's life.
The second step is to make the decision to say goodbye, knowing that it is the best solution. This phase is very important because it will allow us to avoid regrets in the future, taking the step aware that a toxic relationship is breaking up, fully aware that this relationship has no future. The decision does not have to be the result of an emotional outburst, but it must be carefully considered.
The third step is to learn to channel the emotions that will assail you, such as the feeling of loss, anger, sadness and / or nostalgia. Soul wounds are slow to heal, but it is important not to hold these emotions inside as they will become chronic.
In reality, anger, hatred or resentment are emotions that only hurt those who feel them. So while it's normal for you to try them in the early stages, it's also essential to learn how to get rid of them in the process. If you continue fueling those emotions, it will mean that, in some way, you are still connected to that person, so you will not be able to close that chapter of your life. When you are able to let go of those negative emotions you will realize that you can go on much lighter.
Look inside yourself and grow
Often when we are immersed in relationships that cause suffering, we turn away from our desires, needs and dreams. It is a disconnection mechanism that we activate on a subconscious level to protect ourselves. So, saying goodbye to this toxic relationship opens up a new path for you, new opportunities, and a chance to learn from mistakes.
When you are about to close a chapter in your life, you move the center of attention within yourself, think about yourself, decide what you want and make new plans. You do not have to immediately fill the void left by that person with someone else because it is likely that in a short time you will find yourself in the same situation again, you have to find new reasons for life, new passions and new ways of understanding and living in the world.
Take advantage of this farewell to open new horizons and always keep in mind the words of Helen Keller: "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but we often stare at the closed door for so long that we do not see what it once was. open for us ".