How to forget a love that hurts and come back to life

Who I am
Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
SOURCES CONSULTED:

wikipedia.org

Author and references

In this guide I'll explain how to forget a love all done. How to forget a person who left you and is now no longer part of your life. In conclusion, how to forget an ex.

What I will show you also works perfectly for forgetting an impossible love, wrong, sick. And you will find the right solutions whether you want to understand how to forget a guy, whether you want to learn a forget a girl.



What I am explaining to you works in any case. Here's what you'll find there:

  1. You will find out why you are sick, the real reason.
  2. I'll show you how to feel better already in a few hours.
  3. I will show you how to eliminate suffering from your life forever.

As you can see, we have some very important things to do together. Eventually you will understand that suffering for love is not necessary. Indeed ... but let's go in order.

 

Trite for love? It hasn't happened to me for years ...

Stop suffering for love is the first thing you probably want.
To do this you need to understand the real reasons for your discomfort and now I'll explain them one by one.

Before explaining what they are and how to stop feeling bad (even in 10 minutes), I tell you how I stopped suffering for love: I understand.
What?

That there are 10 "things" that are always the cause of your happiness, your well-being and your negative emotions. I define them "10 Laws of happiness".


Call them rules if you prefer, but in fact I have come to realize that whenever I'm fine (alone, with a friend, partner, at work), I am applying one or more of these laws.


And when I'm sick (for example when a girl left me) I realized that I stopped applying them and thus began to suffer.

Since I understood these laws, I no longer suffer.
There may be times when I feel a negative emotion, but I see it, I apply a law, and I'm fine right away.

The beauty is that these laws are totally natural, simple things that we often do without noticing. And without noticing we stop applying, starting to suffer.

Now I'll explain how to forget a love, later I'll tell you about these 10 laws again, because they are the solution you are looking for. but to see it, you must first understand.

 

How to forget a finished love: understand why you are sick

The first goal, when I want to solve a problem, is to understand what the problem really is.

If you are grieving over love over, it is sure that you think you know what the problem is: you love a person who doesn't love you back.

And what is the most popular solution? Try to dimenticare a person, dimenticare who is making you suffer right now.

There are many women (yes, especially them), who write to me to understand how to forget a man. But forgetting is the wrong verb.


To forget you should take a hit on the head or have a part of your brain taken away 😀
You would have more damage than anything else.
Think about it: can you really forget something or someone in your life?

 

Does it make sense to continue your relationship as a couple?

Answer my test questions to find out.


It will allow you to understand if your relationship has the characteristics to last or not.

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To forget… you have to remember better

Consider this: if you could really forget this person, whether it's a girl or a boy it doesn't change, you should delete from your mind what you have shared.

Kind of like having a photo album that you both are in.
To erase those memories you have to rip all photos.

But in those photos is there only one ex to forget? Or are you there too?
Is there only a finite or impossible love to forget, or are you there too?

If you erase those memories, if you tear those photos, you throw away a part of your life.
And that means that you would give this person the power to control your past as well.

Not only that, but you would also delete all positive memories (of course, today they hurt you, but tomorrow…) and all the experiences that have not only been important, but have helped you to become who you are today.

And fortunately, forgetting is useless, as well as being impossible anyway.

Indeed the question is much more complex.

 

What if I can't forget it (or forget it)?

Simple: you must not.

First of all you need to understand the reasons why you are suffering. And what I'm going to do now is explain to you well why you feel bad, so I tell you how to stop suffering immediately.

I show you a practical way to stop the pain you are experiencing right away without doing things that further harm you (like drugs or alcohol).

Finally you will understand how to get to no longer suffer from a relationship that ends (and yes, relationships can end).

In recent years I have talked to many people to help them improve their lives and often, let's say 90% of the time, a broken relationship was the spring that had pushed them to look for this way out.

Many wanted to forget an ex, some wanted to win him back.

I can say that I have seen all the colors and in the end I have identified the 4 real reasons why we suffer when a love ends.

 

Suffering for love: what lies behind your suffering

Let's see what are the reasons why we would like to forget a fake love as quickly as possible.

 

1) You have lost the source of your happiness (hard to forget an ex without understanding him)

This is probably the strongest motivation, but of which we are least aware.

The person who left you it was the source of your happiness. You probably think it was this person who made you happy.

I'm sure you too, in one way or another, thought or said something like this:

  1. You are my life.
  2. This person makes me happy.
  3. Since I have known her, I am happy.
  4. Without you my life would be sad.
  5. You brought the sun into my life.
  6. His love fills my life.

The form may vary, but is the substance very far from your experience? Don't you think your happiness depended on this person?

Don't believe that she was the one to make you feel good And now that your relationship is over, is her absence making you sick?

I really think so.

The first real reason you're sick is that you have lost the person who was supposed to make you happy.

Now let's take a step back.

We all want to be happy. I mean you want to feel good, feel positive emotions, have a quiet and peaceful life.

In reverse you don't like being sick, or always having negative emotions, being anxious, feeling angry or sad.

In this sense I say that we all want to be happy: who would rather feel bad and live a sad and unhappy life?

Nobody, in fact, and not even you!

The first reason you are suffering is the belief of having lost who could give you all this.

Suffering for love it means to suffer for having lost who was supposed to make us happy. And from here comes the second reason for your suffering.

Before continuing, however, I think it is essential to understand our emotions better.
Your emotions.

Today you feel bad because you experience negative emotions. Simple.

It will allow you to understand how eliminate suffering from your life.

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2) Without this person, you will not be happy anymore (and you will never be able to forget a love with this perspective!)

Francesca writes to me to ask me how to forget a boy without whom she can no longer be happy. And he probably thinks it never really will be again.

Not only do you know that you have lost those who gave you happiness, but you almost certainly do you think you will never find someone who can make you happy again.

Where is the problem?

As said you want to be happy. But it is not enough to say this.

What you need to understand is that you want, more than anything else, to be happy.

If the person who left you made you suffer and never made you happy, not even for a second, you wouldn't be sick.

Sure, you could tell me that you were having a hard time and that maybe things have been getting worse lately, but maybe you think this too:

  • We also had wonderful moments and could still be happy.
  • There are a lot of negative things, but it also has a lot of positives.
  • In addition to defects, he was a wonderful person, who knew how to make me happy, even if not always.
  • I have a lot of happy memories together, despite the difficulties.

This person has shared happy moments with you. I'm sure.

If this were not the case, your relationship would not have lasted and you would have closed the matter a long time ago.

Indeed you have certainly felt well-being with this person. I'm sure.

Even a little, maybe for a short time, but you got to think that, if something changes, it would still be possible to be happy together.

The real problem is that you want to be happy.

That this person was capable of making you feel this emotion and that you fear not to find anything that can make you experience this joy in the future.

These are the first two real problems, the real causes of your suffering.

You are not suffering because he left you.
You suffer because you have lost your happiness, perhaps forever.

Do you know that you may not even suffer at all?

  • If before leaving you you were in love, or in love with another person, who knew how to make you really happy. Now the end of the old relationship would not be a problem since you are living a new and happy one.
  • If you stopped loving this person before they left you and you didn't know how to tell them. You may have been afraid of hurting her feelings, but she would have done you a favor by leaving you.
  • If you were happy, for so many other reasons, you wouldn't suffer so much. You might be sorry, true, but if you were happy all the same, you'd get up enthusiastically in the morning even without the person who left you.

The problem is not that the love is over.
The problem is that you have lost your happiness forever.

And often we can't even imagine being happy without that person.
Because if you could do it, you would already be ceasing to feel bad.

I remind you: being happy is the most important thing.

More than a relationship.
Let's understand it better.

 

3) Your life has no meaning and you think it depends on lost love

Have you thought that?
Maybe yes.

Why do we start a love relationship?
For boredom? Obviously not.

Why do we feel the need so badly?
Why are we constantly trying to find the right person?

The reason is simple: because we know that this special person will make us happy. Whatever experience you've had, I'm sure of a number of things, even if I don't know you.

  1. Even in the worst relationship you have found moments of happiness.
  2. Even with the worst partner, you could tell me about the positive qualities you liked.
  3. Even if things were bad, you thought they could improve and be happy together.

These are statements that you will certainly share.

Think about it: you would really be with a person who has never made you happy, or made to feel good, for just a moment?

May, I really mean never.

Not even for a second did you think you could be happy, quite the opposite.

Would you be with someone who has always shown you to make your life unhappy, painful and sad?

I don't think so.

We often end a relationship because we want more, because that person doesn't give us what we need.

What? Be happy.

We want a relationship because we are sure it will make us happy.
Otherwise we prefer to be alone.

So, since the person who loves us will make us happy, almost certainly it will become the most precious thing in our life.

This means that our life has meaning if she or he is there.
If he loves us.

The meaning of our life is linked to our happiness. None of us do something that doesn't make sense. I want to play a game with you that I have used a few times to help people think.

 

How not to suffer for love

Think of a person you love, who is really close to your heart.

Keep that in mind.

Now think of a pin.
One really thick, pointed.

You would let yourself be stung the arm, or the back with this pin?

It hurts, I'll tell you right away.
And quite a lot too.

I think that after the first sting, if you get to get it, you will back out.

It hurts and makes no sense.

Remember, we want to be happy and physical pain is not really associated with happiness.

But let's get back to the person you care about.

Imagine for a moment that it is struck by a very serious, incurable disease, and she has a few weeks left to live. Or a few days.

Now I make you a proposal: if you let yourself be stung by the pin 100 times, this person will heal.

You are sure of it. It works, you just have to endure the 100 stings.

Do you accept them?

I say yes.
And yet they are painful, like before.

But I'm also sure you would accept them now.
Do you know why?

Why now they make sense.

 

Suffering for love is only possible if you make your happiness depend on this person

What's the point of being with a person who makes us unhappy?

None, unless we think of being able to improve the relationship and be.
Together.

I tell you clearly: suffering for love is impossible.
None of us have ever suffered because we love.
You only suffer if you think you can't be happy. Only if you no longer see meaning in your life.

You don't suffer because love is over, but because without this person you are not, and will never be, happy again. What's the point of living if you can't be?

Nobody.

If you take away the happiness, if you turn your life into continuous suffering for no reason, then nothing makes sense anymore.

You don't want to get out of bed, get dressed and go out, you don't want to work, talk to people, even your passions seem meaningless.

What once thrilled you and made you feel alive, or alive, now no longer gives you that energy.

Did I guess?

If you see your life without happiness, becomes useless.

Maybe you will drag yourself along wearily, doing the same things every day, out of habit, without enthusiasm.

But inside you are dying. Because nothing makes sense anymore.

The problem is not that the love is over.
the problem isn't even losing that person.

The problem is, you are not happy, you never will be and that takes away meaning from what you do.

A sense is something that will make you feel good.

Pins hurt, but being able to save the life of those you love is worth more and will make you happy, despite pain.

One thing makes sense, to you as it does to me, if it can make you happy.

But let's get to the last reason for your suffering, paradoxically the most important.

 

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4) You suffer for what you think: you must not forget a person, but understand your thoughts

This is the main reason, perhaps the "real" one.

I explained to you that you suffer because you have lost your happiness, forever, and this takes away the value of everything.

The question is: Have you lost your happiness or do you think you have lost it?

This is a crucial step.

If you don't understand this, you will always suffer, for a love that is over as for any other event in your life.

If the person you are grieving for calls you now, as you read these words, to tell you that they have made a mistake and that they love you more than their life, how would you feel?

Probably fine.

Maybe he acted badly towards you and made a lot of mistakes. However together you can be happy and overcome them, and this person wants to change.

Perfect isn't it?

A minute later you read a message from him on whatsapp, in which he tells you that he was joking, that he just wanted to make fun of you.

Time you would be even worse than before.

I'll point out a couple of things and soon I'll show you a video, one of the most important you've ever seen in your life.

  1. This person has never thought about going back with you. If you felt or felt good when he told you on the phone, it was not for that, since he lied.
  2. After you find out about the joke, you are worse off than before. Nevertheless nothing has changed: love was over and you were sick just like now. Why is it worse now?

What we think makes the difference. For now I don't want to add anything else.

You have understood that suffering is linked to your happiness.
We will deepen this point shortly.

But now I want to show you what you can do, concretely and immediately,

 

How to forget a person by dealing with pain when it arises

So far I have tried to make you understand the real reasons why you are suffering.

But now what to do when you feel bad, when the suffering for the situation you are experiencing arises?

I suggest you some remedies immediate, which you must use as soon as you feel this pain rise inside you.

It will be difficult at first, but the more you do and practice, the simpler and more effective it becomes.

The goal is to manage this suffering, and after showing you how to do it, I'll explain how to eliminate it forever.

We proceed!

 

I see positive: the suffering of love depends on what you look at

This is an exercise that I believe powerful.

Whenever I propose it to people they get wonderful results in just a few days.

Sometimes even the same day.

But I warn you that requires commitment.

The exercise is very simple: you just have to write down all the positive things you see around you.

Do it now, to try.

Look around and search something beautiful, positive, pleasant.

A person's smile, a dress in a shop window, a perfume that reminds you of your childhood in a positive way.

Details are fine, like a nice phone case, your nail polish, the shoes you wear.

You can observe an animal, hear pleasant music, see a funny scene.

Stop now and write (don't keep it in mind, write it down!) all the good things you see around you.

As soon as you finish making this list, grab your cell phone and set an alarm in a couple of hours.

As soon as it rings, repeat the exercise wherever you are. And then set the alarm again.

Start now and do this job every day, from when you get up until you go to sleep.

At least do it for 7 days, a whole week. Every day, continuously.

I assure you that it will have a huge impact on your life.

I leave you a couple of tips from my experience:

  1. Write down everything you see, not just a couple of things, make very long lists.
  2. If you don't see something positive right away, try hard, look for it, force yourself to always find some.
  3. Repeat the exercise many times, the more you do it, the faster you will see outstanding results on your mood.
  4. Repeat this even if you are in the same places: always look for new things.
  5. Involve other people to the sound of the alarm: it will be more fun and enjoyable.

 

Sad for love? Here's how to prevent the toughest moments

This is also a very useful and very simple exercise.

What you need to do is write down the situations in which you are worst.

When do you feel the worst?

  • As soon as you get up? When you go to sleep?
  • When do you watch television? If you go into a certain shop or restaurant?
  • When are you talking to a mutual friend?
  • For lunch or dinner or breakfast?
  • If you hear a certain song?

Make this list, write now all situations at risk where the suffering becomes unbearable.

At this point you just have to establish remedies to be taken in these situations to remove it.

They must be what capable of distracting you, simple to do, requiring no one's help.

The ideal, then, is to choose above all remedies that you can use anytime, anywhere. Here are some examples:

  • Sing out loud, songs that you know the lyrics well and that have a positive meaning.
  • Speak loudly, even if you do it alone, or alone.
  • Pray out loud.
  • To count, but complicated calculations (addition, subtraction).
  • Look for colored things, or particular shapes (circles, squares).
  • Dance, with or without music.
  • Watch a funny or comic movie.
  • Do the "I see positive" exercise, it will work wonders.
  • Read aloud.

Remedies work if they are something that catch your attention. If you think about your relationship as you read, it won't work.

If while dancing you remember where you were dancing together, it won't work.

Also I advise you to prepare yourself. If you want to use some music, keep it ready on your mobile, on a CD or on your phone. Create a playlist for these situations.

The same goes for movies: don't go looking for them at the last minute, keep everything ready.

For this I have created for you a selection of funny videos that will help you distract yourself. I titled it Laughing is good for the soul.

Here are some tips to get great results from this exercise right away:

  1. Write right away risk situations and make a list of possible remedies.
  2. Associate each situation with a remedy, the best one based on where you are and what you are doing.
  3. Make it all be ready and easy to do.
  4. Always apply remedies to all risky situations.

The effectiveness lies in the preparation.

Act now, create your list of effective actions, keep them all ready and take the list with you so you never run out of ideas.

And watch this video where I explain it in detail:

 

This will also give you greater security in dealing with risky situations.

These are 2 ways to immediately deal with the sadness and pain you feel.

Neither is a solution. However, they are excellent pain relievers.

From experience I realize that sometimes it is difficult to put them into practice.

You try it and if you are having difficulty or it seems to you that they do not work, tell me right away.

Leave a comment and I will help you find ways to handle this suffering.

To solve the problem and eliminate the negative emotions that make you feel bad, however, there is the last part of this guide.

 

How to get rid of suffering forever without forgetting a person who was important to you

I explained to you what to do, right away, to manage the negative emotions that make you feel bad.

Now I'll explain the 3 ways that I suggest you follow for a profound and definitive transformation.

My goal is to help you change your life to be happy.

Even if today this seems like an unattainable goal.

Follow the advice I will give you, along with the exercises I have just shown you, and you will see that you will change everything.

Before showing you what to do and how to do it, I want to tell you the truth: it is impossible to forget a person. Just as it is impossible to forget a love.

What you have shared will remain forever part of you.
And it's fantastic, because in addition to the pain you feel today, there are wonderful memories, moments and situations that you have lived together.

Forgetting an ex is ridiculous - not only will you never succeed, but you would throw away a lot of beautiful moments that are part of your life and your path.

Actually the road is to understand.
To commute the memories that today are a source of discomfort and suffering, or nostalgia, in memories full of gratitude for the beautiful things shared.

But to do that, you need to complete this guide and figure out how to get well today.

 

1. Learn to be happy instead of forgetting a girl (or a boy, it's the same!)

We all want to be happy. I know, I've written this a lot of times, but it's really important to understand.

Also for Paolo, who would like to forget a girl and wrote to me to ask for help. And he replied what I say to you now too: If you learn to be happy, always, whatever happens, nothing can make you feel bad anymore.

Obviously this seems impossible.
But I wrote it seems.

I want you to immediately read an in-depth article I wrote to explain what happiness is and how to make it permanently enter your life.

Understanding this is really crucial. Remember that we all want to be happy.
Both Paolo, who was left, and his girlfriend who decided to leave him.

If your happiness it depends on someone, you will always suffer if this person takes different paths.

Of course, you can't force others to love you. But you can learn to be happy.

At this point it is essential to show you a practical guide that I have made just for this purpose.

I'll explain how to always be happy.

Let's move on to the second road.

 

2. Learn to love (instead of trying to forget an ex or an ex)

Earlier I explained to you that we need meaning to act. The things that do not have, we leave them alone, and it is obvious that this is the case.

What gives meaning to our life? Here are some possible answers:

  • A special person who loves us.
  • Our closest friends.
  • Our work
  • Our passions or our dreams.
  • The family, the children.
  • Power and success.
  • Money.

All wrong answers. Remember: it makes sense what can make us happy.

None of these answers have this power, and do you know why? Why happiness it's an emotion and it's up to you, not what happens to you.

I'll tell you more: nothing that happens or others do creates your emotions. May.

We talked about it before, when I explained to you that you suffer for what you think.

Now let's get down to business. First of all you can read this page where I explain what your emotions are and how exactly they work.

Then you should learn to understand your emotions. Venting them is as harmful as repressing them.
Instead you have to understand them. To do this, I suggest the emotional diary, a simple and free exercise that I teach you on this page.

 

3. Find the meaning of your life

This ties everything back together a little.
The basic concept is that what we think makes us happy.

Love is the ultimate goal. Your thoughts, and therefore your emotions, must allow you to love.

When you go that far, you are always happy. The logic is simple: the more you love without conditions, the happier you are.

First of all, I recommend a study on unconditional love, just to be clear when I use this expression.

Then, just so you don't miss anything, I would like to point out another practical guide that wants to explain how to learn to love.

Even if few admit it, loving is something you learn and not just a feeling that happen to try.

I clarify this well in an in-depth study in which I explain to you what it means to love. We discuss it and I make you think about it what I learned on my own skin, in the last few years.

The guide does not purport to teach you to love.

I want to share with you as I learn every day, what I do to improve myself and what I have discovered, about love, making it a priority in my life.

If you love you are happy. End of the story.
If you eliminate negative emotions and experience positive ones, you can love, and you are happy.

If you are happy, you stop suffering and come back to life.
Not what you want?

The actions I have recommended to you to manage the pain you feel are simple and immediate. Let's call them a kind of emotional first aid for difficult times.

Understanding how emotions work, how to be happy, discovering things you didn't know, is a process, not advice. You have to work to make sense of your life.

Why are you here? What is the meaning of your presence?

But above all, here are the questions you have to ask yourself and to which you have to answer, which is yours alone.

  • How will you make a difference, and how?
  • Having lived will have served for what reason?
  • What will you have given to improve the world you are living in?
  • Why will people be grateful for meeting you?

Strong and difficult questions.

You don't have to give an answer now. But you have to start looking for it.

I'll give you a clue: love.

And I also give you a second: there is not only what you can see. What role does spirituality play in your life?

I explained to you from the beginning that we all want to be happy.

I have learned a lot about the psychology of the mind, about habits, about emotions. I know how to improve self-esteem or find a solution to a problem, I know effective techniques and exercises.

But do you know what has really transformed my life and allows me to be happy every day? Faith. Learning to understand the true and profound meaning of our existence. Why we are here.

  • What will it make me always felice?
  • What will he give me the strength to faceand problems and difficulties?
  • What will it make me invulnerabile to suffering?

Faith.
I don't talk about religion. Read what I found on spirituality, it will help you understand better.

 

 

How not to suffer for love without having to forget

All the resources I have suggested to you want to help you get rid of conditioning and fears to find these answers.

Once you have them, you can really put them into practice, and there will be fun there!

You start to follow all the tips, exercises and guides that I have reported to you.

Act, why there is no other way to change and come back to life after a phase of suffering and pain.

Remember it, you don't suffer because a love is over.
You suffer because you have not found the meaning of your life, because you have not learned to create happiness within yourself.

Love that ends is like an alarm clock, it tells you: "Hey, you're doing something wrong, do you understand ?!". I tried to make you understand, as I understood it firsthand a few years ago.

I know what it means to lose someone important, to feel rejected or rejected. I too have seen relationships end and I have been bad for it.

But then I realized, and my life completely changed.
You can always be happy, I assure you.

Now it's your turn.
If you want a hand, some advice, or have doubts or don't share something, let's talk about it. Leave a comment.

I read them all, personally, and I will be happy to meet you and compare us.

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