Everyone who feels comfortable with an arrogant person, raise their hand.
If we asked this question to a group of 10, 100 or 1000 people, it shouldn't surprise us that no one raises their hand.
Most people don't like arrogant people, among other things because they make us feel bad, despise us and generate a feeling of inferiority. In fact, arrogance involves an exaggerated self-esteem and the belief of being superior and is an attitude that manifests itself with excessive and presumptuous claims.
In any case, the arrogant attitude develops very quickly. A study conducted at Yale University found that children between the ages of 5 and 7 already display arrogant thinking because they believe they know more than adults. At some point during development, we abandon this self-centered attitude and form a more objective image of ourselves and the world.
Apparently, the arrogant person does not take this step, they still believe they are always right and, what is worse, they believe they deserve to always win. This indicates that a childish attitude and a self-esteem problem are at the root of the arrogance. In fact, thinking that you are superior is generally a defense mechanism that shows that in reality that person is not so sure of himself. In this regard, Fulton John Sheen said that "arrogance is the manifestation of weakness, the secret fear of rivals".
What is an arrogant person like?
The arrogant person may seem attractive and lovable at first as it usually conveys an image of security and trust. Therefore, it is normal for us to fall into her net, until we realize that everything starts to revolve around her and we stop feeling good in her company now feeling inferior and despised.
1. Has an exaggerated desire for compliments
A distinctive feature of arrogant people is that they constantly seek the admiration of others. Arrogance feeds on flattery, so these people will always try to highlight their achievements, real or fictitious. Therefore, they do not like confident and indifferent people who do not fall at their feet.
2. She constantly talks about herself
Arrogance is intimately linked to self-centeredness. Therefore, an arrogant person's favorite subject is himself. This person will always try to monopolize the conversation to draw attention to himself. When the subject changes, he will try to redirect him to his results, even if that involves interrupting others. Obviously, this person does not show much empathy, he takes interpersonal relationships in only one direction: others have to give and she just has to limit herself to receiving.
3. Does not recognize errors and does not accept criticism
Arrogant people defend their self-esteem with bravado, so they usually don't acknowledge their mistakes. They are never wrong and always find justification when they notice any mistake or flaw. The mistake is always of others or caused by circumstances, they do not take their own responsibilities. Of course, they don't accept criticism either. When they see criticism coming, they take a defensive attitude and don't listen to what they are told.
4. The word forgiveness does not exist in their vocabulary
Since arrogant people are never "wrong," they find it very difficult to apologize or ask for forgiveness. For them, the problem always falls on the other person, so it's not strange that even if they get it wrong, they expect or even ask for an apology. This arrogant attitude is what creates the greatest problems in interpersonal relationships.
5. They are intolerant of what is different
Arrogant people criticize others, emphasize the mistakes and weaknesses of those who do not fit into their high standards. The problem is that their self-esteem is based on the "flaws" of others because they need to make them feel inferior to feel superior. At the root of this intolerance there is an arrogant and dichotomous thinking. Often these people think that things can only be done one way, which reveals a lack of depth and insight to appreciate diversity. In fact, the worst arrogance is that which comes from ignorance.
6. They hide their weaknesses
In the picture of the arrogant person, the fear that others discover his weaknesses cannot be missing, so he will adopt a strategy to hide them with arrogant attitudes. For this reason, he usually speaks out loud, wants to impose his ideas without giving rise to dialogue and hides his insecurities behind behaviors that denote power. “Knowledge and reason speak, arrogance and ignorance scream”, said Arturo Graf.
7. They have an intimidating attitude
Arrogant people are proven to be socially dominant as well. These people have no qualms about expressing their anger, especially against emotionally weak people, to the point of using intimidation strategies to impose their opinions and assert their "superiority". Often the arrogant and intimidating attitude is based on intellectual intimidation techniques.
How to deal with an arrogant person?
If you allow arrogant people into your life and give them too much importance, they can end up destroying your self-esteem, making you feel inferior. But since you can't escape them, the smartest thing to do is learn how to manage their attitudes.
1. Not yield control. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Therefore, it is about detecting the psychological mechanisms put in place by the arrogant person and not allowing them to harm you. Learn to give each comment or attitude the importance it deserves, no more, no less. Don't blame this person for making you feel inferior, ask yourself why they managed to make you feel this way. You can take advantage of this experience to get to know yourself better and grow.
2. Don't follow the his game. Pride feeds on praise and admiration. Therefore, the arrogant attitude is fought by eliminating the fuel that allows it to grow. This means that you shouldn't be impressed with his supposed achievements and abilities. It also means that you shouldn't allow them to make you feel inferior. To deal with an arrogant person, we must be aware that we are all different, that we have different abilities and weaknesses. And that doesn't make us better or worse than others.
3. Defend your position. It is important to know which battles are worth fighting and which ones will only bring you unnecessary discomfort. When it's worth it, stay steadfast in your position. If you see that it is not possible to maintain a civil discussion, you can solve the problem by saying that you respect his position, but do not agree with it.
4. Fai so that you look at the mirror. If the arrogant person's words or attitudes have hurt you, don't be afraid to put them in front of a mirror, figuratively. Tell him what you think about his attitude and the effect it has on you. You don't have to have a recriminatory and accusative tone but you have to be able to express your opinions and feelings, so that this person can realize the damage they cause with their arrogant attitude.
5. Laugh. A sense of humor is an excellent armor in front of people who, knowingly or not, want to harm us. Therefore, use your sense of humor as a weapon in your favor to protect your psychological integrity. Highlighting the absurd side of bullying people's comments and attitudes will help you not to feel intimidated.