3 social skills you can develop today

Who I am
Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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wikipedia.org

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Social skills are essential, not only for success in the world of work, but also to live more fully. A person who is unable to assertively defend their rights will be trampled on all the time. And someone who often gets angry and responds aggressively will live a life full of conflict.However, no one teaches us to manage social relationships assertively, it is something that is mostly learned by imitation, first by looking at our parents and then by imitating. the significant people we meet during adolescence and youth. Social skills are at the heart of personal growth. Since no one is an island unto themselves, to achieve happiness and spiritual peace we must acquire at least some basic skills that allow us to deal with the people we meet every day.It is interesting to note that the most important social skills are also the simpler to develop. The problem is that we are not aware of their importance. For this reason I am now going to show you some basic social skills that you can start developing immediately.

What are the most important basic social skills?

1. Smile moreThe smile is one of our most powerful weapons, but also one of the most underrated. In fact, we all like to see a smiling face, but we are not fully aware of the impact a smile can have on interpersonal relationships.Smiling relaxes the tension that may exist in the environment and makes the other person more receptive to our message. . When we approach someone with a smile, we are telling them that we are not a threat to them and we are conveying positivity. Hardly anyone gets angry when their interlocutor smiles. In fact, some psychologists at the University of Oxford who organized an experiment based on an economic game, found that when people smiled, the level of trust that others had in them increased by 10%. regards them. Another experiment developed by Boston College showed that when we make a mistake or break a rule, and then smile, it increases the likelihood that the other person will be condescending and forgiving us. day with a forced smile, there are situations that do not require a smile. However, try to smile more, you will see that approaching people with a smile on your face can change that.
2. Speak more slowlyWhen we are nervous the heartbeat accelerates and breathing becomes more superficial. In this situation it is difficult to remain calm, so that our conversation is also influenced and is faster. However, our interlocutor perceives, albeit unconsciously, that something is wrong. For this reason, he goes on alert and adopts a defensive attitude. In this situation it is difficult to convince someone or reach an agreement, but speaking slowly and in an appropriate tone of voice, it conveys tranquility and indicates that we are a confident person, we know what we want and have the skills to get it. When everyone around you is upset and you are able to stay calm, you will get across your message better and people will be more willing to listen to you. In this regard, a study conducted at the University of Georgia has shown that speaking fast is a effective technique only when we want to confuse our interlocutor, when we want to convince him of something but we do not have sufficient evidence in our favor. Instead, speaking slowly allows for reflection and promotes a more lasting change in attitude, which is just what we need in our most intimate relationships. Likewise, it is important to learn to master the breaks. In fact, most people are in a hurry to resume the conversation because they feel uncomfortable, but silence is a communication weapon through which security and trust can be transmitted.
3. Ask for moreAssuming, drawing conclusions from isolated facts or generalizing is one of the biggest mistakes we make in communication. Indeed, this is how many misunderstandings arise. Therefore, a fundamental social competence is to get used to asking. When in doubt it is best to compare your ideas, and we can only do this by talking to the other person.The main problem with assumptions is that they never stop, but they have a snowball effect, leading to other false or inconsistent conclusions. Thus, negative attitudes or prejudices are generated towards the other person that end up damaging the relationship. Hypotheses and beliefs become a dangerous double-edged sword. A curious experiment conducted by Iowa State University revealed how easy it is to manipulate our beliefs, so much so that 50% of witnesses to an alleged murder would be willing to mistakenly identify a murderer. Therefore, always inquire about the point of view of your interlocutor , trying to understand his reasons and questioning everything that is not clear to you. Do not get carried away by assumptions, because often these are the result of a story we have created in our mind.
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