It may seem counterintuitive. The idea is so absurd that it borders on the surreal. However, each of us sometimes needs to have a toxic person next to us in our life. Toxic people can offer us important lessons and show us how strong we can be when circumstances test us.
In this regard, Viktor Frankl wrote that life is always potentially meaningful, because we are able to extract meaning even from suffering itself. So sometimes, toxic relationships offer us a world view that we didn't know about.
You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only chance you have
There are moments when we feel a knot in the stomach, a sense of existential suffocation, as if the psychological oxygen has been taken away from us, we are paralyzed by the fear of uncertainty, a fear that comes from not knowing exactly what is happening ... When this happens and there is nothing to hold on to, we take the only logical step that determines our survival: we end the relationship with the toxic person who threatens to ruin our life.
Then we start flying with our wings and, even if we don't know exactly where to go, the sense of freedom is so beautiful and intoxicating that we just enjoy it. In that moment, life takes its course and we discover our true inner strength.
Sometimes just an external stimulus is enough to encourage us to react and allow us to develop a strength that we did not even suspect we had. A toxic person can be the push we need to start flying with our wings and discover our potential as we move away from what harms us.
Some people come into our lives to teach us not to be like them
Selfish friends, controlling partners, love of life that has ended up being a nightmare, envious workmates or even the family that slowly consumes us ... In reality, anyone in our environment can be a toxic person and, although it is true that the ideal would be to maintain mature and balanced relationships, this is not always possible and sometimes we fall into its net. So all that remains is to observe the situation from the most positive perspective possible.
The toxic person also offers us the opportunity to understand what we value and what makes us uncomfortable, upset or harms us. Unwittingly, he becomes a kind of life teacher who pushes us to reflect on our principles and values, thus reaffirming our identity.
There is no doubt that betrayal, emotional coldness, arrogance and psychological humiliation hurt a lot, but they are life experiences from which we can emerge strengthened. In light of these experiences, we need to rethink our priorities and actions towards others.
Sometimes, going through a bad time makes us better people, transforms us into people more sensitive to others and able to better appreciate the help that is offered to us. Sometimes, facing the negative attitudes of others is like standing in front of a mirror, which allows us to see things we can improve and understand how we contribute to this situation.
Don't make the mistake of being paralyzed
There is no doubt that relating to a toxic person can be a difficult experience, but as in all negative experiences, we can learn the lesson and grow or, conversely, be paralyzed in resentment, pain and guilt.
Of course, we all want to maintain mature and balanced relationships, but when we fall into a toxic relationship we can use it to our advantage and use it to free ourselves from our insecurities. The decision is always in our hands. Remember that sometimes a small shift in perspective is enough to change everything.