Last update: 10 September, 2019
Self-esteem, and more precisely its status and influence, is a real obstacle for many. There are countless books and articles that show it to us as a panacea. If you have self-esteem, everything will flow, they argue. If you don't enjoy it, everything will go wrong. The problem is that this self-love is built especially in the first years of life, and it is certainly not possible to live it twice. For this reason, many wonder: is there a way to increase self-esteem when it is not well established?
The answer to this question is "yes, of course". When we count on highly favorable conditions, it is easy for one's self-love to take root from the first years of life. But if it doesn't, it is also possible to repair roots that are not very strong.
Therefore, another question appears on the horizon: why increase self-esteem? While it sounds obvious, sometimes it's not that obvious. Lack of self-love is the seed of many negative stages, the factor that increases the riskor. It usually also results in a continuing bad mood that finds no relief. It makes it difficult to set realistic goals and reach them. Basically, it can make life a lot more complicated. To avoid this, we present three effective strategies below.
1. Create a reminder
We are unaware, or at least often, of most of our behaviors. Most of the time we can't tell precisely why we think how we think or feel how we feel. It is simply so and not otherwise, but we ignore why. All this information is found in the subconscious, or at least an important part.
The truth is that when there is no self-love, the mind operates in such a way that it ignores many positive aspects of our person. It is then that a reminder becomes a valid tool for increasing self-esteem.
It is simply a matter of making an inventory of your best features. What he likes about himself, what he has achieved during the day, the obstacles overcome. Expose their virtues, skills and abilities. Write down our own actions. And, above all, consult this list frequently. It will help the mind function as an ally and not as an enemy.
2. Identify destructive approaches
When self-love is damaged, we tend to see the world from a very negative perspective. In one way or another, we project our discomfort onto what surrounds us. Thus we end up dwelling more on the negative aspects than on the positive ones of reality.
Not very constructive habits also appear, such as comparing ourselves to others, scare us when we are about to reach an important goal or let ourselves be carried away by inertia, because it is very difficult for us to believe in our dreams.
It pays to keep an observation attitude towards us. The goal is to recognize all those lines of thought that make us feel bad. The most likely thing is that we will see everything black not because it is so, but because we have created a habit of interpreting it this way. By observing ourselves and recognizing this, we gradually get rid of these destructive habits.
3. The exercise of the five fingers
This exercise can be very effective in increasing self-esteem. It includes some very simple actions to improve the mood when you are demoralized.
The actions to be carried out are the following:
- Relaxation. First, inhale and exhale deeply to achieve a state of greater relaxation.
- First mental image. He is advised to first extend his hands and then to join the index finger with the thumb. In this position, we need to remember a moment in life when we felt loved or protected. For example, a moment of abandonment in which someone took care of us.
- Second mental image. Now you have to join the thumb with the middle finger. Then, evoke a situation where we have been successful or have achieved a purpose.
- Third mental image. Join the thumb with the ring finger. Then bring to mind a noble act accomplished.
- Fourth mental image. Finally, join the thumb with the little finger. Afterward, remembering someone we love or have truly loved.
This exercise is useful in times of numerous reproaches or lack of self-confidence. It is very effective for finding a balance in the moment and for increasing self-esteem in the long term. Remember that no matter what the circumstances, we can always change and learn to be happier.