Even if no one is willing to admit it lightly, theinsecurity in love it is something that can affect everyone closely, even people who have never had problems with self-esteem. That is why it is important to know and apply the advice you find in this article.
Who has never, at least once, ever heard from awkward e uncertain with a person we feel might be the "right" one? How many times have we found ourselves terrified of making a fool of ourselves?
Let's clarify it immediately: these are very common attitudes which, in some ways, are also healthy!
Worrying about making a good impression in front of the person we care about most is in itself positive, and pushes us to give something more. Provided, of course, not to overdo it: if you realize that your uncertainties and hesitations are destined to turn into insecurities that could affect your esteem and the relationship with the other half, it is probably worth intervening.
Well, if you want overcome insecurity in love, below are 10 (+1) methods that could help you.
Try to read them with an open approach and with the desire to "dare": I am sure they will help you to stave off any negative wave of emotions and that they will give your relationship an edge.
Before moving on to the meat of the article I strongly suggest you take a look at Self-esteem step by step, the self-esteem manual of GetPersonalGrowth. The reason? Self we have no faith in ourselves, we will hardly be able to give the best in relationships with other people, it is therefore the perfect base from which to start.
Now let's see the tips to start working on yours insecurity in love.
1) Be proud of yourself
The first step to building a solid relationship in love? Look inside yourself and feel a little more proud of what one is.
I know what you are thinking: how many times have you heard these phrases repeated! But think about it, you often lose your self-esteem because you are too focused on what you are not, and not about who you really are.
Then try to evaluate yourself with the right kindness. Try to discover your talents. And about these build self-confidence. This will help you over time to feel your weaknesses more and more negligible.
2) Accept that you cannot go back in time
Ruminate continuously about what happened in the past, about the things you could have done and didn't do, or what you did and shouldn't have done ... it is useless!
Accept that you can't go back in time and you will probably also be able to accept that one of the main causes of your insecurities could be your inability to realize that disappointments and mistakes are part of your life and your own. personal growth.
If the above is valid for any aspect of your life, it is even more so in love!
3) Don't look for a comparison with exes
One of the biggest sources of insecurity in love? It is undoubtedly related to the bad habit of confronting other people. And, when I'm talking about other people, you should have guessed that I'm mostly referring to exes.
Comparing oneself with exes, making constant references and putting oneself in "competition" with them, is one of the most common and recurrent causes of conflict between couples. And if in some ways it may be "normal" and physiological to have benchmarks to measure against, more often than not it would be advisable to avoid falling into this trap.
Remember that insecurity and jealousy together form a lethal combination to the health of a love relationship, their constant presence in the long run can lead to the breakup of the relationship!
4) Don't be afraid to ask questions
Another rather common cause ofinsecurity in love it is represented by the fact that one often has fear of asking questions on their respective moods.
But why? In part there is a fear of upsetting the sensibility of the other, but more often than not it is a harmful mix of lack of confidence e low self-esteem on the one hand, and the fear of know the truth.
In short, it happens that knowing the truth about the aspects of our personality that "define" us as partners and as lovers can cause uncertainty, anxiety and an access of often useless and harmful worries.
5) Try to change your perspective
Sometimes to improve the confidence and self-esteem in love it is enough to commit for a while to change perspective. But what does this mean?
You have probably already heard this advice in other locations, precisely because it is one of the foundations ofempathy in personal relationships, but how to put it into practice?
Well, my suggestion is to try change your attitude towards something that often causes conflict in your relationships. Of course, I am aware that this is easier said than done but… you have to start somewhere, right?
And don't think of this behavioral turn as a defeat: it is simply a matter of demonstrating the right maturity to try to make a relationship evolve positively, starting from another vision of oneself!
This will probably also positively affect the way others relate to you, giving you great satisfaction. Here, perhaps, it will be clear to you that that particular attitude was not only wrong, but also harmful to yourself, not just to others.
Articles that may interest you:
The archetype of the lover
Self-sabotage: why we are our worst enemies (and how to avoid it)
How to be sure of yourself
Imposter Syndrome: Why You Think You Don't Deserve Success
6) Trust (a little) more in people
Perhaps you underestimate it, but we are talking about an important determinant of insecurity in love, that is an inability to trust others due to your past stories, which may have led you to believe that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself.
Indeed, the "rip offs" are always around the corner. And I won't be the one to deny this awareness!
My invitation is, however, to don't let your disappointments harm new experiences. Instead, try to be open to new opportunities and to meeting new people, stopping building walls and barriers that - rest assured! - however they will not protect you from the wickedness of the outside world.
So try to react by opening more doors and windows, so that the light of others can illuminate your life.
7) Develop your strengths
Instead of focusing on what you think negatively about yourself and your relationship, find something you can from develop joy and draw strength.
For example, you can try to understand What makes you happy as a person, as a partner or as a friend. Try to focus attention on these aspects and remember that generating happiness for the people who make you feel good is inexhaustible source of positive energy.
8) Appreciate that you are like no one else
It may seem trivial but… remember that you are unique, different from everyone and like no other!
The truth is, many people fail to appreciate the positive things they have and often feel unsuitable just because they don't feel they are "special". This is a very common sign of insecurity, but there is good news: you can easily break this cycle of negativity!
In my opinion, the best way to overcome this unfavorable climate for security in love is understand that there are people who truly appreciate you, even if it may seem that no one proves it.
Try to look around and remember all the situations in which your qualities and your way of being were appreciated. This is a great foundation for developing a new awareness of yourself.
9) Find out what makes you feel bad
Although I have mentioned several causes of insecurity in this article, many people may find themselves in the situation where they feel that there is something wrong with their relationship, but they do not fully understand what is happening.
Hence, a simple recommendation. Find out what really bothers you and doesn't make you feel good. Try to understand what are the triggers, events and situations that can make you perceive these negativities. In other words, try to know yourself better, especially what makes you more "vulnerable".
10) Talk to those around you
Remember that you are never alone and that you can find out about really important things by talking to your friends and the people around you.
Of course, then try to do the same for others: value them by showing that you care about them and that are important to you.
People who convey love and positiveness they generally receive the same from other people, so the clouds of insecurity go away!
(10 + 1) Show love… to yourself!
Last, but not least, is the need to give love to yourself.
Even if you are in a romantic relationship, where you are expected to give love and affection, never forget to leave some for yourself!
What do you think about it? How did you overcome the insecurity in love?