If you don't help me take off, get off the runway

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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Over the years we meet many people. Some are transformed into precious support, they support us in the most difficult moments and give us the strength to continue. Others inspire us or take on the role of guide and mentor.

But we also meet people who find a problem for every solution, put a spanner in the works and infect us with their pessimism, to make sure we can't take flight. These people exist and, although we must learn to live with them, we must not allow them to intrude on our dreams and plans.



People who stand in your way: Their strategy is to sow doubt

It can be a member of your family, a friend, a co-worker, or even a neighbor with whom you meet in the elevator. At first these people seem very lovable, but gradually you begin to realize that they have sharp opinions on others and are very inflexible.

So you discover that by talking to them about your project, they do the impossible to try to sow doubt. It can be a completely random sentence, a seemingly innocent question, a stranger tone of voice than usual, or even a simple look of disbelief.

In some cases they may give you the classic selfless “friend” advice with which they encourage you to quit the project. The reasons vary, but they are almost always too general because they do not have a solid foundation: "I think it's not for you", "this idea has no future" or "you have already tried it without getting results".

The people who stand in your way are experts in sowing doubts, whether about your abilities or the feasibility of your projects. And in the process they convey their negative and alarmist view of the world to you. If you don't identify them in time and learn to counter their influence, you run the risk of abandoning your dreams without even trying.



All points of view are important

The people who motivate and encourage us are important because they strengthen our self-esteem and instill confidence. However, a dose of strategic negativity doesn't hurt, especially when it comes to very ambitious projects.

Therefore, the role of people who try to point out any disasters that may occur is also important. The key is to take a psychological distance, to listen to what they say without letting ourselves be impregnated by their pessimism.

Remember that the key to balance in life is being able to bring the ends together. Many projects have failed due to an excess of optimism or a toxic optimism.

If you want to fly high and far, it's not enough to want it and have a positive attitude, you also need to build your own "airplane" and predict possible storms. In this regard, the people who hinder us are real specialists.

Everything has a limit

The people who hinder us will not change their world view. Everyone has their opinion and has the right to express it, even if it is wrong, even if it is not the most intelligent and it is demotivating. You can't change this. But you can change the way you react to those opinions.


If it is someone close to you who feels the need to continually express an opinion about your projects, it is likely that, deep down, he feels fear for you and does not want you to take new risks, because he is only able to see the dangers involved in your choice.

In these cases, it is important to learn to take the necessary distance, for your psychological well-being.

Tell him that you have taken note of his opinions and advice, but that you will decide. You can't force him to lean on a project he doesn't believe in or scares him in, but he doesn't have the right to hinder your flight either.


Kindly ask him to clear the runway.

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