When a boy wrote to me “I need love, nobody loves me”, the metaphor of the antennas came to mind.
To understand what I'm talking about, first I'll tell you Marco's story:
It's his birthday and Daniela, his girlfriend, has prepared a surprise party for him: all his friends and loved ones are there. After a wonderful evening there is another gift: an unforgettable night of passion with the person he loves, and who has done all this just for him.
In the morning Marco wakes up, the sun comes in through the window and he hears the chirping of birds outside the windows.
What a wonderful life, right?
What a lucky person he is to have found someone who loves him in such a special way.
The only problem is that before the surprise party, on the sofa, Daniela and her lover, whom Marco knows nothing about, also celebrated her birthday!
Yet he feels lucky, loved, happy.
How is it possible that he feels all these wonderful emotions, if the person next to him cheats on him and doesn't really love him?
How does he feel love if he receives none?
I need love, nobody loves me
You know those times when your phone doesn't pick up and you can't talk?
Or where the internet connection is bad and the videos get stuck, or the pages don't load fast?
Wait, here's another story:
Luca has been married to Patrizia for five months and everything is fine, until, moved by his jealousy, he peeks into his wife's cell phone and discovers messages from Giorgio, a mutual friend who was making a connection to Patrizia before their wedding.
Luca has no doubts, the tone of the messages is sweet and ambiguous: she betrays him.
He makes a scene, shouts, gets terribly angry.
He can't stand being made fun of, and finds it absurd that it happened so shortly after they got married.
She assures him that she has done nothing, that she loves him and would never betray him.
Luca, however, does not trust.
He begins to suspect Patrizia every time he goes out with her friends, who hold her game for him, while she does everything to convince him that she is sincere: she often hugs him, telling him that she loves him, she is always kind and understanding, she does not rush him. and respect his doubts.
The truth is that Giorgio is a friend of Patrizia, she has never betrayed Luca but everything she does for him is not enough: Luca does not feel loved, although she really gives him love in every way.
For him they are fake and false gestures, ways to hide a betrayal of which he is certain, but of which he does not yet have proof.
These are two stories I borrowed from my book, Emotional Independence. If you want, you can read the first chapter for free ⇒
The point is that we are like antennae, from a certain point of view.
If in the first case Marco feels something that is not there, it is because our emotions are the result of our vision of the world, of our beliefs and certainties, of our thoughts. It is called emotional independence.
But why doesn't Luca feel Patrizia's love even if it's real and true?
For the same reason that sometimes your cell phone doesn't take well.
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Do I need affection, or do I need to open up to love?
Because if the signal (love for example) arrives, it is really transmitted, but you are not in a position to receive it, you won't feel it.
When the phone does not pick up, does it mean that the signal does not arrive?
Or that you don't receive it?
One day the wind had shifted the position of my television antenna and the RAI channels had disappeared: had RAI stopped broadcasting?
Or was my antenna unable to receive them?
I say the second 😉
The love of others, their joy, the good they may want us, will never make us happy.
If you don't open up to love, if your heart is not ready to receive their signal, you will hear nothing.
The truth is that we have to tune to the right frequency, learning to understand others, learning to throw away demands, fears, rules, schemes in order to be able to open up and welcome.
Imagine yourself as an antenna: around you there are millions of signals that arrive from all sides: from others, from the world around you, from life situations, from God.
In the next few days, don't think that what you receive is always the fault of others.
Think if you you are tuning your heart and mind in the best way, if loving is your priority.
Because only when you decide to love without conditions and pretensions, you will receive the best signals at your disposal perfectly.
And this will actually make you happy: your openness and not what you will receive.