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    How to get back with the ex: the psychology of reconquest

    Who I am
    Robert Maurer
    @robertmaurer
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    Getting back together after breaking up is not always the best choice, but when the ex partner still occupies such an important space in our heart, it is legitimate at least to ask the question: how to get back with the ex?

    Is it possible to get back with the ex if the decision to break up was not ours?

    In this article we will talk about psychology of reconquest, and we will see how to get back with an ex (or how to get back with an ex) using powerful strategies, but also doing important work on yourself.




    Is it possible to get back with the ex?

    Getting back with the ex in some cases can be really a difficult undertaking, while at other times it is enough to apply a minimum of strategy. Factors that generally complicate the reconquest can be:

    • the distance;
    • a betrayal;
    • a new relationship from the former partner;
    • many mistakes made from you after you broke up.

    To get a clearer idea of ​​your starting situation, and to understand how likely you are to get back with your ex, I invite you to take this quick online test.

    It only takes two minutes to complete - you'll need to answer 15 simple questions on your relationship with the ex partner, and you will instantly get a result expressed as a percentage. This is information that will come in very handy later on. Find it here.



    How to get back together after breaking up

    The path to getting back with your ex after the relationship ends isn't quick, and it might even feel a little counter-intuitive at times.

    As I explain in my article on how to win back a man, and also in the one on how to win back an ex girlfriend, timing plays a fundamental role in achieving the desired result, and the psychology of reconquest is not a trivial discipline at all.

    Maybe you think that if you don't insist and put it all out at this stage, the ex partner could meet a new person and forget about you forever...

    Maybe you think it is possible to convince the ex to get back together with you through logical reasoning, begging or heated discussions ...

    Or do you think that by showing your immense love for him, or by letting him know how bad you are without him, you will be able to make him change his mind...


    Finally, perhaps you have already tried to bombard him with messages and calls, in the hope of always keeping your image alive in his mind ...


    The truth is, none of this really works.

    The period of posting

    After the end of a relationship there is a need for a period of total detachment, in which you will not have to talk to your ex or your ex for any reason. Your goal will only be to get back on your feet: to recover from the deadly blow that you suffer when you are left and regain your independence.

    Let's face it… in these days of pain you have lost all your lucidity. You are unable to behave in a stable and balanced way, and because of this you risk making stupid mistakes that would only further distance the ex partner from you.

    What you need then is process the pain, and at the same time start with your life in the best possible way. Attitudes that will help you in this direction are the following:

    • Start dating old friends again
    • Take a trip in a place you always wanted to visit
    • Sign up for a course or a voluntary association
    • Meet new people who are positive and in line with your interests
    • Read personal growth books
    • Focus on your job or business
    • Play sports and get yourself back on track physically
    • Make time for your hobbies and interests

    During the posting period, it will also be necessary to analyze the reasons why your story went into crisis, without blaming yourself excessively, but at the same time avoiding unloading all the responsibilities on the cruelty of the partner, or on the "bad luck" that hit you.




    The reconquest

    Once you have passed the period of detachment you can finally return to relate effectively with the ex partner. The negative feelings that characterized the last period of your relationship have most likely now faded away nostalgia for the good times spent together begins to be felt.

    For this reason, the person you still love so much will now be much more open and willing to talk to you and find out what's new in your life. You can use this openness to rebuild the basic relationship between you, and for recreate the attraction and the feelings he once had towards you.

    Given the profound difference that exists between male and female psychology, the path to returning with an ex will necessarily be different from that to returning with an ex, although there are many points in common between the two cases.

    How to get back with an ex

    If you are a girl, and you want to know how to get back with the ex boyfriend or with the ex-husband, the first thing you have to take into consideration is that the man is a hunter ...

    It's not up to you to get him to get back with you, impress him or jump on him - you'll just have to tease him and seduce him with spontaneity and naturalness.

    Since a man responds automatically to aesthetic and physical stimuli, you will need to be able to show off all your femininity, and even some positive changes in your appearance, such as a new haircut, the loss of a few extra pounds or a slightly renewed look.

    Finally you will have to make him understand that the end of your story has served you to make gods big improvements in your life, exactly in the areas where you were previously missing in his eyes.

    For example, if he left you because you were too jealous, you will now have to make him understand that you have become less oppressive. If he broke up with you because you cheated on him, you will need to make him understand that you have totally changed your lifestyle and are now a more trustworthy person.

    By keeping these important principles in mind, you can start taking the first steps towards reconquest!

    In order not to leave you alone in this delicate phase of your life, I have decided to set up a daily email path to help you. If you decide to join, I will send you valuable tips and tricks every day to get back with your ex without making any other mistakes.


    Like getting back with an ex

    If, on the other hand, you are a man, and you want to know how to get back with your ex girlfriend or ex wife, you will have to focus on other social levers rather than on the physical aspect (however important).

    Women are attracted to self-confident, independent, strong men, with a purpose in life. Getting back with your ex will require you to accentuate all of these traits in your personality, and generally show a higher level of success.

    As a man, you will have to take charge of the whole reconquest process - you cannot hope or expect her to take the first step.

    To top it off, again you'll need to make sure you show a marked improvement in the areas of your life where she has judged you to be missing.

    For example, if she broke up with you because you were too aggressive when you were arguing, you will need to show her that you now have greater self-control. If she left you because you put her at the center of your life, you will need to make her understand that you are now an independent man and lead a much more socially active life.

    By following these steps, you will see your chances of getting back with your ex enormously increase.

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