How to find motivation after a difficult moment? How to get up from a defeat, recovering better without falling into some sort of depression?
These are very interesting questions for those who intend achieve their goals in life. Every time you fix one, you decide to take a path that, for better or worse, will present along the path of the obstacles.
You will inevitably suffer defeats and meet gods difficult times. But losing one of the battles doesn't mean losing the whole war. As Nelson Mandela said:
Don't judge me for my successes, but for all those times I've fallen and managed to get up
If you feel frustrated in this difficult time, I understand you perfectly. I've been through it too and I continue to often encounter setbacks that slow me down on the way to my goals.
But there is one thing you need to understand right now. It is a completely fact natural. Failure is part of success. To succeed in a business you will have to take into account that sooner or later you will happen to fail.
But this still does not mean having to give up.
Failure is success in the making - Albert Einstein
People who have made it in life have been capable of find the necessary motivation to move forward with more strength than before. What did these individuals have in common?
How to find the motivation: the skill you need
This discussion on how to find motivation after a defeat could not fail to deal with one of the most important skills to persevere. The path to success, in fact, is littered with difficulties, obstacles, problems and all types of pitfalls that can come to your mind.
As good as you may be at preventing certain events from happening, inevitably you will sooner or later have some unexpected, and a situation that at first might have seemed promising in a flash can be translated into a good nut to crack.
You will suffer defeats, but one of the fundamental skills of successful people is precisely to accept the slaps of life, mitigate its effects and learn from mistakes, returning to the office more determined than before.
Well, this skill is called resilience. Silvester Stallone himself tells you about it in the film Rocky Balboa, in the speech to his son:
Neither I nor you, no one can hit as hard as life does, so going forward it doesn't matter how you hit, the important thing is how you can withstand the blows, how you collect and if you end up on the mat you have the strength to get up. . . so you are a winner!
Resilience is just that. It is one of the few weapons you have at your disposal to not give up when difficulties come, allowing you to not give up and to move on.
What do you need to be a resilient person?
First of all, you must have a clear idea of where you want to go in life, what your vision is and what goals you want to achieve. You have to visualize the benefits you will have obtained once you arrive at your destination, how you will feel and what emotions you will feel.
These feelings will channel your energies and thoughts in a positive way, allowing you to keep your motivation high even in the most difficult moments.
Remember that motivation does not mean anything other than i reasons that push you to act.
Three are the most obvious characteristics of resilient people:
- Challenge: Resilient people see the difficulties they encounter along the way as opportunities to test their skills. They do not give up on going out of their comfort zone, challenging their limits and improving accordingly;
- Dedication: Resilient people give their all to achieve their goals. They do not spare themselves, they perceive the importance of every daily action in a broader perspective and for this reason they have a profound motivation to act;
- Direction: Resilient people decide to act by concentrating their efforts on those areas that they can control, or at least influence. They regard the problems that arise as natural and therefore do not react emotionally as much as they come.
Finding motivation after a defeat: 3 phases
Let's go into the details of the discussion and analyze how we can react to a difficult situation and actually find motivation after a defeat.
To do this, there are three main steps you will need to go through, each of which has a specific purpose. Let's see them one by one.
1. Change your perspective
The first step to recover from a defeat and regain the motivation to act is to change the perspective with which we see the problems in this moment of difficulty.
First, you will need to take responsibility for taking matters into your own hands and setting things right. But what exactly do I mean by changing your perspective?
It simply means looking at your current issues from another point of view. Very often we blame others if things don't go well. We often hear phrases like this:
"Ah my boss is really a little good" (to say the least). " Or: "It's about this government that makes life impossible." Or again: "My friend behaved terribly."
Now, try for once to consider yourself the cause of the things that are not right ...
Too often, in fact, we tend to blame our own faults on external causes. Now, I'm not saying that it never happens that there are factors that are not dependent on you, but often there is a good deal of guilt on your part as well.
But regardless of whether it's your fault or not, only you can decide to make things right. Remember: you are solely responsible for your success.
Changing perspective also means detaching emotionally from what's wrong: look at your problem from a more objective point of view, avoiding bringing into question negative feelings.
2. Take back control of the situation
The next step is to analyze the problem you have at the moment and try to regain the necessary reins a check the situation where you are.
You can ask yourself questions like this:
- What parts of the problem can I check?
- What elements could I potentially influence?
- Who could I ask for help in controlling and / or influencing a certain factor in the problem?
In this sense you will have to go in search, both internally and externally, of valid means that allow you to change the course of events that are not going as you would like at this moment.
In the course of this research, gradually you will approach a possible solution of the problem. Ask yourself these questions:
- Was the situation I am in inevitable?
- What was the trigger for the problem?
- What was my contribution?
- What means do I have at my disposal to contain the problem and its effects?
- How to get out of this situation and with what results?
- What solutions come to my mind?
- What is the sequence of steps to take?
Note that in this second phase it is not so important to choose the best solution to the problem, as it is get back on the move, avoiding the prolongation of a stalemate and difficulty. In other words, it's about getting your problem solving skills back in motion and actively working on the problem.
3. Choose a strategy and go to action
Once you have identified the solution to the problem, the one that seems best to you, you will have to formulate a action plan and start off again, trying to get out of this difficult moment.
Even if the solution you have chosen is not the optimal one, the important thing in this case is to take action again. Over time, by dint of attempts, you will be able to adjust the shot.