Self-confidence is not something that is inherited, it is something that is learned and developed throughout life. But among all the qualities we have, believing in ourselves is one of the most important because it allows us not only to consider the most ambitious goals and achieve them, but also to feel good about ourselves, even when we fail to achieve ours. goals.
People who lack self-confidence prefer to stay in their comfort zone, even if they don't feel completely comfortable, because they believe they won't be able to pursue their dreams. This attitude condemns them to a life of dissatisfaction, full of: "I should" and "I would have liked".
Why don't we believe in ourselves?
Self-confidence is a quality that begins to develop in childhood. As soon as we realize that we are an independent person we begin to get an idea of who we are. This image of our "I" will be
determined by what others think of us.
If our parents were not people who believed in themselves, we will probably have assimilated this defeatist form of relating to our "I". Lack of confidence can also come from overprotective parents, who have never allowed their children to test their strength and develop their skills. Or from parents who often used derogatory phrases such as "you are useless" or "you are not made for this".
When this situation repeats itself over time, the person grows up with a very negative image of themselves so that they do not have enough confidence in their abilities to face challenges or feel good about themselves.
Of course, the causes of lack of trust don't always lie in childhood. Sometimes this depends on life experiences that are considered failures. When someone thinks in terms of "all or nothing" and considers mistakes as something negative, a series of failures can end up undermining their self-esteem and confidence.
How to develop self-confidence?
- Patience. You have probably spent many years of your life doubting your abilities so that you cannot think that overnight, as if by magic, you can turn into a confident person. Learning to believe in yourself is a time-consuming process marked by ups and downs, doubts and setbacks. The key is to be patient and never give up.
- Love. Love, in the broadest sense of the word, works wonders. When we accept ourselves for who we are and love ourselves for it, our life can experience a radical change because confidence in our abilities will automatically increase and we will feel ready to face new challenges. To learn to love each other it is important not to confront each other, to understand that each person is unique and that these differences are the basis of the greatness of each of us.
- Labels. People have a tendency to label others and often let you glimpse their negative and limiting opinions. Don't let others tell you it can't be done and hold you back once you have made up your mind. Remember that there is nothing worse than getting to the end of the path and wondering what would have happened if we had dared to do a certain thing.
- Think about the present. To believe in yourself it is important to learn to think in the here and now. Don't let your past and previous failures limit you. Just as we must not let fear of the future immobilize us. Think that you are now building your new life. Not having accomplished something does not mean that you will never do it if you try hard.
- One step at a time. Often, thinking about big goals and all the hard road ahead can scare us. To start believing in yourself you have to proceed slowly, so that every step you take brings you closer to the goal, without rushing too much. Set yourself realistic goals and when you have achieved them, congratulate yourself.