Assertive perseverance

Who I am
Robert Maurer

Author and references
I invented the concept of assertive perseverance, or perhaps it is better to say: created, to refer to a skill that is not very common in our day but which is essential to obtain success with our projects. Assertive perseverance would refer to two essential attitudes: 1. Consistency in pursuing goals, emotions and behavior. 2. Flexibility in reorganizing goals, emotions and behavior. At first these ideas may appear conflicting but they are two sides of the same coin, and one without the other has no value. When we start any project we generally feel emotionally positive about it: we are hopeful, cheerful, optimistic; in short, we believe that everything will be fine until… the problems and the unexpected begin. Then there appears the loss of motivation and the consequent abandonment; we feel apathetic, we stop trusting in the project and little by little we begin to neglect the aspects that could make the dream continue. We lack perseverance. Lack of perseverance is a very common weakness currently, and is closely related to the dizzying pace in which the world around us moves and changes. Each time we are less and less patient and less persevering; the most palpable example can be found in the fleeting couple relationships, or in the quantity of projects that arise on the web which are then quickly abandoned. We have progressively forgotten that perseverance is the essential key to re-enroll in those projects that really interest us. The causes of abandonment can be the most varied: - Difficulties appear that were not considered. We keep in mind that problems will always appear that we could not foresee, one of the most certain laws that I have been able to verify in my life is precisely the one that reads: "Anything that can go wrong will do it!" - We are not able to structure the project following small goals that make the final goal easily reachable (to finish a university career it is necessary to pass all the exams; it is a difficult task but we cannot achieve the result without going through the various stages). In the case of a university career it is easier because others help us to structure the steps to be taken; when instead we undertake a personal project we will have to be able to structure our small steps by ourselves that lead us to success. - We do not have a clear enough vision of the final goal. Not having well defined what our essential project is means that we pass from idea to idea in search of the one that seems most attractive to us, so we waste precious time without completing any of the projects. And we follow by counting the obstacles, so that, if we really want to complete the project, a persevering attitude is absolutely essential, not only in the path of achieving the objectives but also in maintaining our emotions and behaviors. It is necessary to motivate ourselves for the entire duration of the project, to find new interests within it that help to maintain our satisfaction with the work we are doing, otherwise the task will be heavy to finish. When the project becomes a source of regret, it is time to abandon the path and reconsider our perseverance. At this point the idea of ​​assertiveness appears. There are people who set a goal and must achieve it at any cost. I believe that the end absolutely does not justify the means, for this reason I am referring to assertive perseverance. There are projects which were very good, excellent and adequate at the time they arose but which have subsequently lost their viability; at this point it is necessary to reorganize our goals, our emotions and our behaviors. Being rigidly persevering does not help us to be successful but rather to crash into the walls of an ever-changing environment. So, perseverance needs its doses of assertiveness, it is important to determine when it is time to postpone some projects until we have better conditions, or simply think about how to find different solutions than those previously planned. Anyway, why is it so difficult for us to be assertive when we set out to carry out a project? - We love our plans too much and refuse to accept an outcome other than the planned one. - We do not realize that the conditions of our environment change. - We are not able to objectively value the effectiveness of our actions and for this reason we keep making the same mistakes over and over. Einstein put it brilliantly: "Don't expect anything to change if you keep doing the same things over and over". In summary, behind every success generally there are several years of assertive perseverance. Few people realize their goals on the first try, so few are the exception to the rule.
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