5 ways to complicate your life unnecessarily

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Joe Dispenza
@joedispenza
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wikipedia.org

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There are people who know how to flow, who face problems as soon as they appear and quickly find solutions. It is not that life smiles at them or they have more luck than the rest of ordinary mortals, they are just proactive and do not postpone to tomorrow what they can do today.

On the contrary, others complicate their lives unnecessarily, get stuck analyzing the problem or looking for solutions. These find it difficult to advance because they have what we could define as "mental overweight". These people think excessively about problems, analyze possible solutions to the millimeter and postpone the decision indefinitely until they find their backs to the wall. This generates an emotional and cognitive overload that is hard to bear.



Types of thinking that complicate our life

1. You plan activities that you don't necessarily need to do

We often overload ourselves with commitments or tasks that aren't really necessary. The problem is that when we begin our inner dialogue with the words "I need to" the alarm is activated to give priority to the presumed need. This can cause us to prioritize things that aren't necessary and postpone those that are truly essential. This way we engage in more or less insignificant tasks while the important things stay in the background and pile up. Consequently, it is not strange that we end up exhausted and stressed, with the feeling of not having taken advantage of the day.

Solution? If you don't want to complicate your life unnecessarily, make sure you have only those activities on your agenda that are real priorities. Analyze all your "need to". Perhaps you could replace them with words like "I want", "I would like" or "I prefer". This semantic shift will help you bring out other things that are truly important and worth your time and energy.



2. Looking for the perfect solution

Seeking the perfect solution is one of the most common mistakes that keeps us trapped in the vicious circle that has created the problem around us. In our mind, we explore different alternatives, but we don't decide for any because we see disadvantages or possible risks. The fear of making mistakes feeds a constant flow of ideas that ends up confusing and paralyzing us. So instead of looking for solutions to the problem, we find problems for solutions. We find a flaw in every idea. This situation overloads us cognitively and makes us exhausted.

Solution? You have to assume that there are dozens of solutions, many of which are perfectly valid. Thinking before making a decision is smart, thinking infinitely about decisions is not. It's just a way to complicate your life. Therefore, internalize that there are no perfect, guaranteed and 100% risk-free solutions.

3. You have found a good solution, but you are not putting it into practice

As unlikely as it may seem, we can sometimes get stuck in the "theoretical phase", without taking action. It often happens to people suffering from depression or to procrastinators. These people may know which path to follow, they have found the solution to the problem, but they do not implement it. As a result, they become trapped in the problem, which wears them down more and more. This behavior can be due to multiple causes, but it generally depends on the fear of leaving the comfort zone, an area in which we may not feel well, but which gives us security because it is known.


Solution? Assume that the first step doesn't get you where you want to go, but it will at least get you out of where you are. If you are afraid of making a decision, start with small steps. You will always have the option to go back and take another route. Remember that sometimes the road is not straight but full of curves and setbacks. Even so, it is better to move than to be paralyzed by a situation that is harming you.


4. You are obsessed with the consequences of decisions and what others will think

Thinking is a very powerful tool that allows us to project ourselves into the future to avoid possible damage. But it is also a double-edged sword that generates incessant worries that take away our peace of mind. One of the main mistakes that keep us stuck and complicate our lives is constantly thinking about the implications of our decisions, often foreseeing the most negative consequences we can imagine. In fact, many fear how others will react or what they will think of them. Fear of social judgment keeps them trapped.

Solution? Decision making is the art of choosing paths and dealing with uncertainty. It means that since we can only go one way, we have to forget the rest. Any decisions you make will always have consequences. You will always have to give up on something and you will never be completely sure of the consequences of the steps you will take. But if you want to keep growing, you have to move. And that means deciding. Assume that you cannot control the reactions of others and it is likely that your decision will not please everyone. However, it is your decision. It is your life and you decide.


5. Invent obstacles

It may seem like a contradiction, but we often invent obstacles in our path to avoid making a decision that scares us. In fact, it is the most common strategy for making life unnecessarily complicated. For example, let's say we can't make the decision without first consulting a person who is unavailable or with whom we have a difficult relationship. Or we say that we cannot decide until we have more information, knowing that it will never be enough because it is impossible to minimize uncertainty. In these cases, instead of devoting our time and energy to finding solutions, we dedicate ourselves to inventing obstacles. As a result, we will feel trapped in a dead end maze that we have built ourselves.


Solution? You don't need to create more obstacles than life creates for you. If you feel stuck even though you have already found a solution, ask yourself what you are afraid of. There is where the answer to the obstacles you are creating is to avoid taking the next step. You can take advantage of this situation to grow by facing your fears.

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