The causes of indifference
- Lack of emotional involvement. The fact that a person is important to us does not always mean that we are equally important to him. Some people may be indifferent because we are not that important to them emotionally. They do not perceive that there is a strong emotional bond and prefer to keep their distance.
- Need to protect yourself. Some people prefer not to love to avoid being hurt, in these cases, they prefer to distance themselves emotionally and indifference is used as a shield. They are people who are afraid to commit and do not want emotional bonds, usually because they have experienced the traumatic experience of abandonment firsthand and do not want to relive the same pain.
- Manipulation tool. In some cases, especially in relationships, indifference becomes a weapon of emotional manipulation. When a person knows that the other loves him enough to give in, he can adopt an indifferent attitude in order to achieve his goals. In these cases, indifference is used as a tool of punishment.
- Need for space. There are people who, by their nature, are emotionally more distant and do not express their feelings easily, preferring to keep their distance. Other times, they are just going through a period in their life where they need more space, such as adolescence or after a relationship has ended. As a result, they can use indifference to protect their space.
- Self denial. One can assume an indifferent attitude because one sees in the other something that one recognizes in oneself, but that one does not want to accept. For example, a person who has achieved a certain social position may be indifferent to people belonging to a social group that reminds him of his past. In these cases, indifference is a protective shell to prevent his idealized "I" from coming into conflict.
- Desire to cause harm. Unfortunately for us, there are some particularly bitter people who are aware that they still have emotional power over others and use indifference to do harm. In these cases, indifference is a weapon of revenge used to hit the other where it hurts the most.
Of course, there can be other causes for indifference and sometimes these can overlap because each situation is unique and interpersonal relationships are very complex. To discover the source of indifference, it is essential to delve into the person's past, put yourself in their shoes and understand what this relationship means to them emotionally.
Why is it important to discover the causes of indifference?
Depending on the causes of indifference, we can assume one attitude or the other. For example, when a person is indifferent because they need space, it is advisable to take a step back and respect their privacy. In case he is afraid of going back to suffering we must show him that we do not represent a danger but, on the contrary, that we are at his side to support him.
There are also cases in which a person can respond with indifference without realizing it, so that sometimes it is enough to point it out to him, indicating the damage this attitude does to us and how we would like our relationship to be.
Of course, on other occasions indifference is a signal that the relationship is not going well and indicates that we should reconsider it, or at least, we should try to establish an emotional distance so that the other person cannot exercise indifference as a weapon. hurting us.