Beyond the physical aspect, we fall in love with the ability to engage in deep and interesting conversations. But not only.
Last update: July 26, 2022
What makes us fall in love with one person rather than another? It doesn't all come down to physical looks and stunning looks. Science and experts in seduction and infatuation tell us that there are more powerful elements, dimensions of greater impact capable of making us fall in love.
According to science, moreover, many of those elements that attract and enchant should always be present in us. After all, what makes you fall in love at a given moment should continue to be there to fuel the daily passion and affection in the relationship.
The ideal, therefore, is to integrate these dimensions (if we don't already have them) in our psychological repertoire to make the desired person fall in love. However, we also make these resources our cornerstones in life.
What makes us fall in love with a person according to science
How many times have we been advised to be ourselves? Although it is beyond question that it is always advisable to act spontaneously, it is positive to integrate other resources in terms of seduction.
These are dimensions that we can all learn and that, far from moving away from ourselves, will make us more attractive. In the following paragraphs we see all those factors that make us fall in love.
1. A good sense of humor makes you irresistible
Making the person we like laugh, what could be better? Thanks to laughter, the best connections are created, positive emotions are ignited, complicity and we also demonstrate our intelligence.
Research study conducted by University of New Mexico anthropologist Gil Greengross reveal that a sense of humor could be decisive in choosing a partner. We choose people with a good sense of humor because we associate this virtue with intelligence.
In case of offspring, we will guarantee the same skills. Science reminds us that when choosing a partner, whether for life or sex, nothing is left to chance.
2. Show your vulnerability
What does science refer to by the term "vulnerability"? To conquer, there are those who do not hesitate to show off heroism, strength, great skills and abilities, good will.
This whole repertoire of virtues is excellent in the world of cinema, but not in the field of love. Showing yourself vulnerable makes you human and establishes closeness and intimacy with the other person.
Dr. Elaine N. Aron of New York University (and author of numerous books and works on high sensitivity) explains this in a research paper.
Being vulnerable allows us to be honest with each other to connect on an emotional level.
3. Offer clues to the other person
Shyness is not a good companion when it comes to making someone fall in love, but be careful because neither is brazenness. We need to find an intermediate point in which to show the other that we like it, but without declaring ourselves openly.
This requires grace, elegance, a skillful use of verbal language and above all non-verbal language. What our smiles, our eyes, etc. say
This set of gestures, looks and words must form a symphony in which the other perceives clues of our attraction towards him
4. What makes us fall in love: the art of conversation (and the deeper, the better)
There will be no need to solve the mystery of the Big Bang or the riddle of the Sphinx of Giza. However, deep and interesting conversations attract and seduce neurons.
The person who manages to "turn on" the other's brain will always have an advantage. Being a Cyrano de Bergerac is about capturing the mind to speed up the heart.
Among the factors that make you fall in love we cannot forget interesting conversations. Because there's nothing like a chat that lasts hours to get intimate with someone.
5. The way they make you feel is everything
Remember the last time you felt excited, connected to the present moment and happy? Were you with anyone at the time?
Few things are as satisfying as the feeling of connection, well-being and absolute harmony with someone. And in love it is fundamental.
What really makes us fall in love is not physical attraction, but how the other person makes us feel. Relationship experts tell us is that nothing is as important as sharing positive and profound experiences.
Many times, in daily relationships with a colleague, for example, we soon discover that we do not share that feeling of complicity and absolute affinity with anyone else.
Likewise, too living intense moments can create strong emotional alliances. If we know, for example, what the other person's hobbies or tastes are, we don't hesitate to share those passions. The connection will be greater.
6. What makes us fall in love: personality
The physical aspect is the cover letter, but the personality is a direct invitation to fall in love. Values, beliefs, the way you treat atria, the way you react to events, experiences and emotional skills turn on (or not) the engine of attraction.
A study carried out at the University of Göttingen (Germany) provides us with data on the relationship between personality and attraction. Some personalities are more engaging thanks to specific traits such as openness, a sense of humor, trust, friendliness, and the ability to communicate.
Conclusions
Each of us has personal seduction techniques. More or less useful strategies that you carry in your pocket as a first aid kit.
However, let's not forget that seduction is also an art that we can all learn and with it gain in safety and that attractiveness that goes beyond the physical aspect.
