Resilience is the ability to face adversity without collapsing and even coming out strengthened, with a renewed confidence in our potential to face the future. Undoubtedly, it is an essential skill because it not only allows us to deal with problems and conflicts with less stress, but also reduces the level of distress and discomfort allowing us to maintain a minimum level of functioning.
Psychologists have spent years analyzing the behaviors of resilient people to find common ground. They discovered a number of characteristics of resilient people that enable them to cope better with adversity. It is a combination of social and problem-solving skills, as well as emotional self-management and projection into the future that allows them to tackle problems with greater integrity and find strength in the midst of the storm.
What characterizes a resilient person?
1. Feeling of self-efficacy. Resilience comes, to a large extent, from security and confidence in our ability to solve problems. In fact, people who have suffered a major trauma and have been able to overcome it on their own are more likely to successfully face future problems and find the tools to solve them because they are more confident in their abilities to deal with them.
2. Deep knowledge of oneself. A resilient person is not a naive optimist, but rather has a fairly objective self-image. He knows his strengths and potentials, as well as his weaknesses and shortcomings. This allows him to compensate for his weaknesses to better deal with adversity.
3. Internal control locus. It is the tendency to interpret the results as a direct consequence of our actions, so that they are under our control, instead of thinking that they are due to external forces. The internal locus of control helps the resilient person to take charge of their life even in the worst moments and to take responsibility for their decisions.
4. Creativity and intuition. Resilient people also use creativity to solve problems and conflicts. They are able to adopt different points of view and come up with new ideas that lead to original solutions. Often this also means following the directions of intuition and having imagination, especially in stressful situations.
5. Flexibility. It is the ability to adapt to different contexts and interlocutors without losing our identity. Resilient people are flexible like rush, instead of showing the iron strength of oak, which allows them to flow better when things go wrong. They are able to adapt to circumstances, but without losing their essence.
6. Sense of humor. It is the ability to keep a smile even in the midst of adversity and to put a good face on bad luck. A resilient person will be able to deal with problems with a sense of humor and, above all, laugh at themselves, a skill that will help them play down and even take a psychological distance from the situation.
7. Optimistic projection into the future. Resilience doesn't mean seeing everything pink. We recognize the problems and understand their complexity and impact, but even so we can be able to set new goals for the future and, above all, find the most appropriate strategies to achieve them. A resilient person knows that no matter how dark his present is, the sun can shine again in his future.
8. Communication skills. One of the characteristics of resilient people is that they are able to connect with others and ask for help. They do not generate pity, but they know how to express their feelings and emotions, so that others perceive that vulnerability and are more willing to help them. This allows them to build a solid support network to cope with the most difficult times.
9. Realistic expectations. Resilient people are realistic. They don't ask for elm pears. They are able to objectively assess the possibility of certain events taking place, so that they can establish sound plans for the future and minimize the chances of experiencing frustration.
10. Internal motivation. Resilience largely involves being able to find the right stimuli to act and move forward when everything seems to be against us. Resilient people find the strength and reasons to fight within themselves, so they are less dependent on external changes.
11. Perseverance. One of the characteristics of resilient people is that they are able to persevere in achieving their goals, despite setbacks. The obstacles, in fact, become a challenge that pushes them to continue. These people do not see problems as pitfalls on the road but rather as challenges to be solved.
12. Desire to excel. Another characteristic of resilient people is the desire to constantly improve, grow and refine the skills they acquire. They are not people who are easily satisfied, but who always try to go a step further to expand their limits and get out of their comfort zone. This attitude positively predisposes them to deal with problems.
13. Clear objectives. “There is no favorable wind for the ship that does not know where it is going,” Seneca said many centuries ago. Having a clear destination is especially important in stormy times because it allows us to focus on the goal. That's why resilient people always keep their dreams and goals in mind. They are aware that the path can be modified or extended, but not the goal they wish to reach. This gives them enormous strength to avoid obstacles.
14. Consistency. Resilient people are also consistent. They know what they want and make decisions to make it happen. They have a clear meaning in their life and, instead of letting themselves be carried away, they keep the course by aligning themselves with their values and dreams. They are independent people who act according to their own codes, without being excessively conditioned by others.
15. Making changes. Resilience is not just an attitude, it is also a behavior. Resilient people are able to recognize their own functional and dysfunctional behaviors to apply the necessary changes and find effective solutions. While others cry over spilled milk or fall into victimhood, a resilient person will rush to put the broken pieces back together.