We all want a fulfilling and happy relationship. Sometimes, however, it is more difficult than we expected. How come? What prevents us from being happy?
Last update: February 05, 2022
There are many people who spend their lives in a crazy race against time, immersed in routine, committed to doing a thousand things and, in their free time, get distracted in front of the television, connect to social networks or surrounded by people and noise or obscured from alcohol or drugs. So what is the secret of happy relationships?
We live most of the time in automatic, accelerated by the accumulation of pending tasks, almost without paying attention to ourselves.
In this vortex of doing and not being, the essential is lost, which is not found outside, but within us. We have learned to forget ourselves.
The fear of our innermost emotions
Loneliness can be terrifying for some people, who sacrifice the quality of relationships in order not to be alone. This fear of loneliness often hides the fear of coming into contact with the most intimate emotions, which can be unpleasant or painful. We prefer, therefore, to get distracted or fall asleep.
But if emotional needs are not listened to and addressed, if we do not accept ourselves unconditionally with our strengths and weaknesses, we will walk through life wearing a mask.
We pretend to be different in order to find in others the acceptance that we deny ourselves. On this basis it is impossible to have happy relationships.
Children do not judge their emotions, they feel and express them. It can happen that during the socialization process the child is ignored, hurt, ridiculed or mistreated. The only resource he has is to hide the pain he feels, because he still depends on others to feel worthy of love and respect.
When you reach adulthood, it is imperative to take responsibility for your emotional health, to heal emotional wounds and fill the gaps in your inner child. Otherwise, you will live with an inner emptiness that you will try in vain to fill with superficial relationships.
Loving ourselves is the key to happy relationships
Our main task, therefore, is to learn to see, love and value the most precious thing we have, which is our essence.
The more we learn to love ourselves, the greater the desire to share our love with others, because genuine love is naturally expansive. This is what happy relationships are based on: on authentic love that comes from ourselves.
This shockwave is unstoppable, and it is therefore inevitable to want to share this love with others. From fullness and authenticity, from the depths of our interior, from our essence.
The secret to happy relationships is to learn, grow, love, have fun, and enjoy each other's company.
Because we have the ability to love, both ourselves and others, and when we understand how rewarding it is to put it into practice, we realize that it is the greatest treasure we can find.
There is no luxury, no pleasure, no conquests, no possessions, no riches that can replace the fullness produced by true love.
We must start by loving and accepting ourselves. Loving oneself provides the couple with the security and trust that one usually seeks in each other.
In these cases, rather than trying to get love from the partner and demand it, one shares with the partner the love they have for themselves. Ironically, you give the other what you have always wanted and which previously seemed impossible to obtain.
Low respect and self-rejection are one of the major causes of problems in the couple; learning to love strengthens relationships.
Loving is the most wonderful thing there is, but you can't give what you don't have. Until we learn to love ourselves, we cannot love others. Are you ready to cultivate happy relationships?