If we commit ourselves, we will be able to develop a more alert, positive and confident attitude to deal with anxiety states and have our well-being as a goal. In this sense, the power of patience is undeniable
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
The mind often runs faster than life, but to curb this trend we can harness the power of patience and fuel optimism. We need to adopt a lifestyle that enables us to put aside anxiety, pressures and worries. Let things happen at their own pace, at their own time and at the moment they need to happen.
Experts often disagree as to whether patience responds to a learned behavioral pattern or to an innate trait. In any case, one aspect is clear: our social context favors a state of dissatisfaction that makes us live anchored to immediacy. This is why it is difficult for us to tolerate waiting and we experience a feeling of helplessness when we perceive that we cannot have everything under control.
We don't even know if it is our impatience that attracts anxiety or if it is anxiety that makes us less tolerant of waiting. We know, however, that these two dimensions form a perfect marriage. An ideal union to trigger a state of stress and excessive excitement evident in our brain. All this causes insomnia, fatigue, concentration problems, discomfort and obviously unhappiness.
An effective and simple strategy for regulating these states is to learn to develop the power of patience. It is not easy because if the brain has been used to thought patterns and agitated approaches, it always shows a certain resistance when a more calm and above all optimistic vision is proposed. Let's see, however, how to do it.
"Your mind will answer more questions if you learn to relax and wait for answers."
-William S. Burroughs-
The power of patience to live better
Constant impatience results in anxiety. This rather unique and often devastating combination causes a series of physical ailments, such as muscle aches, headaches, tachycardia and digestive problems. What is more, impatience is like a malware that installs itself in our minds and begins to activate the mechanism of cognitive distortions.
As soon as we get up in the morning he begins to work. If the coffee doesn't come out of the coffee maker quickly, if the elevator takes longer than usual to get to our floor, if the subway arrives a minute late, we assume it's going to be a bad day. If today we don't finish sketching the project we had in mind, frustration and desperation consume us. The poison of haste distorts our thoughts and our mood blurs and fills with gray.
As Albert Ellis, cognitive psychotherapist and promoter of rational-emotional therapy said, if we do not control anxiety, it will lead us on its way, inside a car where life loses its meaning. Patience is therefore a more than suitable mechanism for taking or regaining control.
Self-regulation as a trick for patience
The University of North Florida, Jacksonville, in January 2018 completed an interesting study on the power of patience. This research, led by Dominik Güss, a doctor of psychology, revealed that in some cultures this dimension is more significant due to a precise psychological function: self-regulation.
Self-regulation is first of all self-control or the ability by which we can manage ourselves successfully in order to react better to the pressures and events that surround us.
To activate self-regulation, one must learn to develop the following aspects:
- The reflection.
- Emotional management.
- Self-control.
- Assertiveness.
- Social skills.
- Tolerance.
Training the four roots of patience
The power of patience in turn involves clarifying certain ideas about this aspect. It is common, for example, to think about patience from the wrong perspective. Often it is related to passivity, resignation or the ability to wait. So let's see what its roots are, or those aspects that we should learn to develop starting today:
- Patience is liberation. It is a cathartic practice that teaches us to wait, observe and know when to act.
- Patience is compassion. This aspect involves being respectful of ourselves and not mistreating ourselves for not being able to achieve certain things when we expected it. It means serving ourselves, valuing who we are, and learning to be our best allies in life.
- Patience as intuition up to movement and action. Those who are patient will not remain immobile, surrendered or isolated from their reality. On the contrary, the power of patience allows us to reserve energy for action. It helps us to wake up that intuition capable of looking around to understand what is the best time to be cautious and the best time to take action.
- Trust and optimism, the seeds of effective patience. Patience implies a certain confidence in inertia: things will come at the right time. It doesn't do any good for our mind to go faster than life, because all that really matters is here and now.
We stop running and start walking
Patience is concentrated strength. It is the virtue of people who have learned to manage their emotions and thoughts, to know that everything has its moment. Remember: sometimes we insist on running when life is best appreciated during a leisurely walk, with sure steps and oriented in clear directions.
