Last update: Augusts 10, 2018
Have you ever felt lost and downcast? Sometimes situations get the better of us. We think we are unable to deal with them and negativity begins to make itself felt strongly in our lives. Everything we do goes wrong, only horrible things happen to us. We just want to find a lighthouse that can guide us.
If we tune in to the grievance and victim mode, it will be difficult to see a way out of our problems. We have it under our noses, but all the negativity we have embraced has become a thick cloud that prevents us from seeing clearly. We therefore need a beacon that illuminates the path to follow.
Glimpse a lighthouse that can guide us
How can we glimpse this lighthouse that always guides us? Some psychologists resort to a cute little exercise that helps open our eyes and instill hope in our hearts, even when there seems to be no more left. Let's see what it consists of.
We must close our eyes, relax to release the tension that floods our whole body and reach a state of peace. Later, it is necessary imagine ourselves aboard a boat that is adrift, surrounded by raging waves that threaten to sink it. We imagine lightning and deafening thunder. We don't stop moving. The water does not stop entering the boat and soaking us. We feel lost, alone and we don't know what to do.
We can not communicate not anyone. The only thing we can do is cling tightly to the mast of the boat so as not to be thrown at any moment. It is very tiring. Our hands hurt. It is cold, we are tired of enduring this situation and we think about giving up. But suddenly, a dim light appears.
When situations overwhelm us, we begin to drown in our emotions and our end seems to have come. However, if we do not give up and resist, we will eventually be able to see a beacon that can guide us.
Instead of lowering our heads and remaining immersed in our defeatist thoughts, we are curious about this light. We head towards it. This way at least we head somewhere. As we get closer, this light gets brighter and we distinguish something else. It is a light held up by something. What a great feeling! We feel hopeful. It is a lighthouse, there is the mainland. We have a destination to go to.
The joy of knowing that there is hope
Once you have done this exercise, it is important to work on your emotions. How did we feel when we were on that boat at the derives? Perhaps fear, loneliness, abandonment and frustration have invaded us. We may even have thought we were dying. But then something changed.
When we saw a light, our emotions changed dramatically. When curiosity invaded us, we stopped thinking about what was happening around us. There was a new interest that has relegated the negative situation we were experiencing to the background. We felt calm, tranquility, joy, relief… We forgot how bad we were and started to feel happy in view of an improvement.
This happens when, for example, we lose a job and, for an extended period, do not find a new job. However, one day we get a call for a job interview. There is always a lighthouse that guides us, but we must be able to see it. If the person receiving this call refuses to see the lighthouse, they will think they will not be selected. Because she is already 40, because she hasn't worked for a long time or for any other reason that makes her sink even deeper into her negativity.
When something unpleasant happens, how do we keep our life from falling apart and moving on? The secret is to have more than a lighthouse. That way, if one of them collapses, we can get on with our life without feeling unlucky.
Having multiple headlights in life
We can conceive the beacons of life as the different elements that compose it. For example, we have a beacon for the couple relationship, another for family relationships, yet another for work, for our personal growth ... The idea is to cultivate and care for the maximum possible number of lighthouses. Let's take an example.
Let's imagine that we suffer from emotional dependence and that, therefore, our partner is our life. What happens in this case? We have only one lighthouse to guide us. This relationship is broken and the lighthouse collapses. We feel lost, destroyed and we no longer know how to enjoy our life. All our expectations were directed towards one lighthouse and we forgot about all the others. Where is the beacon of friendship? And that of personal growth? What happened to the professional goal beacon?
Not having taken care of the other headlights, we run the risk of not being able to move forward. The exercise we have presented can help us discover that there is not a single lighthouse that guides us. There are many of them, but we have neglected them and we have forgotten where they are. However, this has a solution.
When we realize that our life is not based on a single lighthouse, but that there are many others, we will discover that, even if one fails, there will be others who will continue to illuminate our path. All we have to do is change the focus of our attention and sharpen our sight towards these blurred lights, towards these forgotten headlights. Thus, we will realize all that we have overlooked.