Send fewer messages and see each other more

Who I am
Robert Maurer

Send fewer messages and see each other more

Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.

Last update: December 14, 2021

True, new technologies allow many relationships to survive. However, that doesn't mean they don't hide negative aspects as well. It has now come to the point where rather than seeing each other in person, we prefer to exchange messages, but we cannot allow it to become normal. It's time to talk a little more e send fewer messages.

Nowadays, relationships do not arise from a chat exchanged over a good coffee, but from aseptic messages exchanged via WhatsApp. Logically, these relationships are never as deep as those born from a coffee taken with a friend at the bar, from a knowing look, from a hug exchanged on a cold winter day. This leads us to infer that we should be texting fewer and talking face to face.

Why yes, even a hug can communicate a lot, and find time for the people we care about it shouldn't seem that complicated to us. Do we really don't have time? We probably just need to review our priorities, because taking care of ourselves and the people we care about cannot be the last in a long list of worries.

And because the real speeches, the most edifying ones, do not go through WhatsApp. Also, seeing the people we love more often can only do us good.

Social networks, enemies of active listening

Studies that analyze the impact that the use (or rather, the abuse) of social networks has on our psychological well-being and on the creation of stable, but above all real social support networks, are still relatively few. Nonetheless, it is clear that by now you no longer look into each other's eyes even when you communicate something important. Often, even when we manage to carve out time to share with others, we are constantly interrupted, or otherwise distracted, and our ability to listen actively suffers.

Dealing with important issues on WhatsApp causes the interlocutors to lose important passages. Information and reflections that, if received, would allow us to better understand the problem in question and to give the other concrete help.

On social networks we allow ourselves to be deceived by appearances, half-truths, imposed opinions, which significantly reduce the quality of relationships. You end up never knowing each other fully, you never meet each other anymore, you are no longer able to understand what lies behind the gaze of a friend or the feelings he really feels.

Even if there is sincerity, virtual communication is always incomplete. This is just one of the reasons why we should go out a bit more and text less. It must also be considered that the use of technology is characterized by the devastating "cumulative effect". Gradually these communication habits begin to be part of our daily life and our perception of ourselves ends up being more and more distorted.

What was born as a useful technology to facilitate communication and make it accessible to all has made us slaves. It is assumed that we must respond immediately to every message. What if that doesn't happen? In that case we should not be surprised by the anger and indignation of our interlocutor which will lead to sterile discussions born of a lack of trust.

La Sindrome FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The expression FOMO syndrome refers to the fear of missing out on something. This fear is the direct consequence of our habit of always being online, constantly updated on what is happening on social networks.

This means that, ultimately, we are more interested in the lives of others than ours and that we don't recognize the importance of authentic relationships. The consequences of this phenomenon are disastrous for our psychological well-being, because we end up worrying too little about ourselves and those around us because of this urgent need to keep our “virtual environment” under control.

Send fewer messages to build real relationships

This situation becomes a limitation when it prevents us from enjoying the company of others. The sad truth is that nowadays, the smartphone seems to be an extension of our body, and this negatively affects our relationships, both in terms of quantity and quality.

We should make a serious effort to try to put away our phones, at least when we are in the company of someone, promoting as much as possible the establishment of real communication. Because we don't have the best chats on WhatsApp. In short, you need to see each other more often, otherwise social networks will end up being the only means of communication. It is true that they allow us to send messages and contents of all kinds, but they certainly cannot transmit complicity.

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