Last update: Augusts 29, 2016
Why do we fall in love with the impossible? Maybe because we read or watch so many love stories or maybe because we like to suffer. In reality, there are no great logical explanations that allow us to understand why.
Usually it is what we cannot have that attracts our attention and attracts us; it can be the boyfriend of a friend of ours, a movie star or someone who doesn't want us. As a famous phrase often goes, "the heart has its reasons that reason does not know". If impossible stories are recurring in your life, perhaps this article can help you.
The answers in search of the impossible
Have you ever spotted someone you couldn't have for various reasons? Do you tend to especially notice married or busy people? Do you like forbidden situations?
Of course, everyone has the right to do whatever they want in their life, but the problem arises if you suffer from your decisions, habits or choices. Here are the possible reasons that explain why you fall in love with an impossible person:
Appreciate only what you cannot have
It happens in several areas. We always want what we lack, what is impossible to obtain or what is exclusive. This happens when we shop, when we look for a job and when we like someone. For example, if you fall in love with a married man, you probably think that if he is "busy" it is because it is worth it. So you have become obsessed with him and, if you are sure that there are more people who have a positive opinion of him, your attraction will increase.
The taste of challenges
Since your life is very monotonous and the routine is always the same, look for ways to change your days. For this purpose, go on vacation to an exotic place, eat in a restaurant that offers dishes from different parts of the world or look for someone who is difficult to conquer.
You are fed up with the routine and one way to break it is to break the rules, somehow. You want to stop being the ones who always do things right and start acting so that others have reasons to blame you fairly, rather than mistakes you have made unintentionally.
The absence of self-confidence or self-esteem
This is true both in love and in other areas. There are people who can only set goals that are practically impossible. By doing so, they make sure they have justification in case of failure.
Clearly, the explanation they give themselves has nothing to do with them. They think that not having reached a set goal is due only to the difficulty of the goal itself, but they never say that they have chosen that goal and that they have bet on failure from the beginning.
The fear of commitment
Here is another excuse for not having a serious relationship and finding peace by being with a person for more time who will then come to live with us ... Much better to look at the wonderful smile of our work colleague. Since, unconsciously, you don't want to commit, choose someone who won't reciprocate.
The exasperated romanticism
Many women love to think that they are princesses or the protagonists of films and novels, because the endings of the stories are always enchanting: “and they lived happily ever after”. Imagining that the other is the prince of your dreams will lead you to idealize him to the point of arousing in you the strongest fear that this reality may not materialize.
Is it possible to learn not to fall in love with an impossible person to have?
Of course yes! You need to prioritize what's best for you and have more confidence in your ability to succeed. First, think about what are the reasons or excuses that lead you to choose the wrong people; then, take action by putting the following tips into practice:
Pay more attention to those who care about you
This does not mean that you necessarily have to fall in love with your best friend or the person who helps you at work. However, you are often so focused on unrequited love that you don't allow yourself to open your eyes and look around.
Remember that life is not a movie
If you are waiting for a prince on a white horse to come and save you from the evil witch after battling the scariest dragon in the realm, you might as well wake up. And not just because dragons don't exist or because you don't live in the Middle Ages, but mostly because the idealization of relationships is probably preventing you from knowing the love of your life.
Put away the negative thoughts
Thinking that dating a married person is the best that can happen to you makes you feel like a good on sale and you don't deserve it. You believe that falling in love with an impossible person is the best way to avoid committing yourself and you probably do so because of a past relationship that made you feel very bad. Convincing yourself that you are unlucky in love will not help you find a soul mate.
Trust in your abilities and your personality
Perhaps your love is not reciprocated, but the other does not yet know all the beautiful things you have to offer. Don't hide your way of being! Remember that in order to receive love from others, you must first love yourself.
One way or another, some people go to great lengths to turn love into torture or utopia. By projecting their feelings onto a person they cannot reach, they "cut their legs" right away and totally preclude the possibility of experiencing a love that they can touch, kiss and laugh with.
Author's note: this article is aimed at women, but it is good to keep in mind that it is not a female phenomenon only. The same number of men (or even more) have the defect of ending their relationship even before it begins; for this reason, today's advice is also valid for them!