Last update: 02 November 2016
The end of a love causes deep sadness and great despair that derive from the impossibility of fully living a relationship as a couple with someone you love. Maybe it happened to you too, the other person never loved you or did, but this feeling has vanished.. Then you find yourself in a situation where you can't resign yourself, but you can't get what you want either. A situation that takes the name of "resentment".
As with other situations in life, love sickness also involves a process of reflection, internalization and growth. For this reason, as the neurologist Leonardo Palacios states, "Love sickness is in general a feeling of sadness and has three phases: denial, guilt and acceptance".
Denial, according to the expert, is characterized by the attempt to recover what has been lost or part of what has been lost. Guilt, on the other hand, manifests itself when you want to find someone responsible for what happened. Finally, acceptance implies consent, approval and understanding of the final break.
However, it is worth clarifying that these three phases do not always manifest and overcome successfully. This prevents or dulls the normal development of a person with regard to his social and emotional life. To avoid this, we will give you three simple tips that will help you find your way back to overcoming love sickness.
Understanding that loves have a beginning and an end
Perhaps the most disconcerting thing about love is that like so many other aspects of life it has a beginning and an end. Even the greatest and most complete loves in the world must end, with death, for example. This leads to the end of the story and, consequently, great pain.
Nowadays, it is not necessary to go to death to understand that in general, loves are ephemeral and fleeting. Perhaps this finds its raison d'etre in the dynamism and personality of contemporary generations: everything is fast, everything passes, nothing lasts ... The problem is that sometimes a story that is apparently born to end soon ends up staying in the heart.
No matter what the expectations are: love is always an uncertain territory. And, for one reason or another, surely when there is love, there is also pain to some extent, because sooner or later, for an X or Y circumstance, love ends. It is an inescapable reality.
One nail does not drive out another nail
The worry of being with someone, perhaps without really knowing why, makes us change partners as often as we change clothes. And when a person doesn't experience the pain of a love breakup, instead of solving the problem, he adds another to his life.
Because it is not true that “nail drives out nail”, as the saying goes. With another nail, in fact, the other is sunk even further, enlarging the wound. The problem is that you risk entering a chain of new loves and new breakups that ultimately leave nothing but a deep feeling of emptiness, if not depression or anxiety.
Making a new life from a love point of view is absolutely positive. For return to love in a healthy way, however, we must learn from past experiences. Otherwise, it is clear what can happen ... Generally it is said: “whoever does not know history is condemned to repeat it” and in this case it is one's own history.
Great loves are not forgotten overnight
Love sickness is a difficult experience. However, it is important to live it or at least try it on various occasions. This allows you to grow and mature. Furthermore, we must not forget that the real lesson is often not learned from books (which are certainly a great support), but from the experiences of life. Attention, well-lived experiences.
Pain is a feeling we all avoid. We are not saying to embrace suffering, nothing further from reality, but to be aware that sometimes pain works as a kind of "pedagogy of life". An element implicit in the wisdom of the universe. An opportunity to get to know each other better and to remember that the deprivation of something we love always teaches us something important.
For this reason, it is necessary to give time to time. A building is not built overnight and neither is great love. Love experiences are intense and complex, so it is necessary to digest them and control the anxiety of malaise that comes from a loss, so that you can learn the right lessons from these situations.
There is no magic recipe for curing love sickness, but if you are going through this difficult phase, the best thing is that you try to be tolerant.. With yourself, with your loved one who is no longer next to you and with the profound dynamics of life, which have their times and their surprises at the end of the journey.
