Last update: Augusts 05, 2015
"You stole my loneliness with a false company." Perhaps this feeling of emptiness is familiar to you. You will have happened to perceive it on a past occasion, through that interested friend, who always thought of his own advantage and that he never cared much about your interests, your sufferings, or your joys.
What about those emotional relationships that have completely collapsed? It can happen. We open the doors of our hearts to people who move us and give us hope and then we realize that there is no more painful loneliness than being next to a person who doesn't even see us and who can't make us happy.
Emotional loneliness is one in which we project great hopes and expectations onto others, but in reality we find nothing but empty. Few feelings are as excruciating as this kind of loneliness, which goes much further than physical loneliness.
Emotional loneliness is one of the great evils of our times. Many of us are surrounded by people, family, friends, lovers and hundreds or thousands of friends on social networks; however, they continue to perceive that agonizing pain due to feeling gaps that no one seems to know how to fill.
The loneliness that no one sees
Emotional loneliness has a complex and almost contradictory logic. You have often heard phrases such as "You can't complain, your partner is so caring and loving" or "You certainly never get bored, given the number of friends you have." Probably, in the face of these statements, you nod your head yes and crack an uncertain smile, knowing full well that appearances are worth what they are worth and that, in reality, you feel immensely alone.
It is common to consider loneliness as the physical absence of individuals around us, a situation in which we do not possess emotional ties, we do not have people who look after us and to whom we can entrust ourselves to give them daily affection. Is it therefore necessary to always have someone around to feel happy? Absolutely no.
Your solitude is often an intimate space in which it is easier to find a balance. Introspection and dialogue with oneself are behaviors that strengthen self-esteem and enrich the soul.
All those who enter our life to offer us only selfishness or emotional immaturity deprive us of our precious solitude, in which we find balance and protection.
If we open the door of our heart to someone, we become a little more vulnerable, because we hope to find a presence that completes and accompanies us, and we do not expect, however, a cold wind that opens a chasm in our hearts.
How to overcome emotional loneliness?
Just as we mentioned at the beginning of the article, emotional loneliness is one of the most devastating feelings that can afflict a human being. The feeling of having more people around us and, at the same time, being aware of the fact that we feel alone, can be the beginning of a depression.
To deal with emotional loneliness, consider the following points:
- Identify the malaise, the dissatisfaction, the emptiness. Often, our emotional loneliness is masked by low self-esteem and a low motivation to relate, in reality there is something wrong with us that goes beyond all of this. This wound is caused by the people around us who do not see us, do not enrich us and do not make us happy.
- Reflect on your emotions and listen to them. What do you feel? Is it sadness that makes you feel this way? Is it the frustration? You are scared? If so, who or what causes this fear in you?
- Once you have identified the real problem, communicate it. It is essential to share what you feel with others, whether it is your partner, family member or friend. Make it clear that the relationship in question causes you more pain than happiness and that it is time to change some aspects of it.
- After you initiate the change, it is vital that you start enjoying your solitude again. Because? Because you have spent a long time without being yourself, anxious about certain feelings and emotions. Deep in your being there are needs that you need to balance, rediscovering both the child in you and the adult who longs for emotional tranquility.
Emotional loneliness is experienced as an inconsistency: we have someone next to us, but we feel the pain of loneliness in an excruciating way. Resolving this situation, freeing ourselves or re-encountering ourselves will help us grow.