Last update: Augusts 21, 2018
Worries they are natural and common to all human beings. Many times, however, we dwell so much on what worries us that we can no longer go on. Maybe we forget that being busy and hardworking is just what we need to unlock.
Worries are the response to an attempt by the brain to find solutions to certain situations that cause us anxiety. These situations or problems may be ongoing or may have occurred in the near past. They can also be any future circumstances in which we think we may find ourselves. It is a cognitive activity that prepares us for what we believe is about to happen. Concerns therefore arise as a mechanism for generating actions and thus addressing various difficulties.
Nonetheless, many times we worry so much without coming to a solution. We think and rethink ideas that worry us and in this way we generate a vicious circle in which we connect many problems together, forgetting even what the goal was: to find a solution.
Why do worries consume more time than solutions?
Worries are the first step towards solving a problem. Sometimes, in fact, the feeling of taking a situation in hand reassures us. This is perhaps because we feel closer to finding a solution.
This short-term tranquility leads us to relax on worries until we become avoidant behavior. We avoid being industrious because we feel more comfortable with worries. Although we don't like being worried.
So time passes. On the one hand, we believe we are facing a problem, but on the other hand we feel stuck inside it. As if we had gone from finding a solution to thinking and rethinking a situation that creates anxiety. It is then that worries lose their function and become a great obstacle. They steal an infinite amount of time and energy and we don't even notice it.
How to handle concerns
Here are some ideas to divert attention from blocking worries and leave room for industriousness.
Take a step back: be objective
Analyze what worries you objectively. Then write down what you believe will happen. Many times, due to the influence of our emotions, we are not realistic in our predictions. Would our point of view change if it were a friend or family member who had the same problem? Evaluate the merits and the likelihood that what you are imagining will actually happen.
Take a step back: imagine the worst
What if what worries you so much really happens? Imagine the worst. If it really happens, you will be more able to cope with certain situations. We are infinitely stronger as industrious than immersed in worries.
Accept that some things are inevitable
If what worries you happens, regardless of your actions, think about what you can do to better cope with the situation. There are things we cannot control. However, we can decide to protect ourselves and live them in order to cushion the impact. Keep in mind that thinking and rethinking details and aspects of a problem for which there is no solution is a guarantee of suffering.
Protect yourself, make the aspects you believe necessary to better face the situation strong. Sometimes the best protection can be distraction. Other times, however, the solution is up to you. In these circumstances it is necessary to get busy. Take that step, break that relationship, or bring out everything you've been holding in for so long.
Set yourself a time limit to devote to worries
There are times when you need to think about a certain situation, while at others you will have to engage in other activities. And here, while you are busy, that problem you have not spent time on seems to be your shadow. If he does not abandon you, stop! In this way the worries are of no use. They can only distract you and make you anxious. Look for a moment to devote to this seemingly unsolvable problem. That way it won't haunt you all day like an echo in your head.
The best is the enemy of the good
Voltaire said so. Sometimes we waste a lot of time and energy looking for the best way, the perfect one. When possible, all the better. Give yourself some time to look for alternatives, solutions. However, when this period of time has elapsed, you have to make decisions. Despite all our best efforts, the solutions we will think of will be far from perfect. It will then be time to choose the "least worst" option.
Behind every solution there doesn't have to be a problem or a concern. We grow up and, as time passes, we embrace the idea that worries are the necessary echo to tackle a problem. Nevertheless, one can be industrious without being worried. It is about facing situations with acceptance and the certainty that we are able to do everything at our disposal.
Beyond the worries
Behind the wall of worries is the landscape. Sometimes it thunders or earthquakes erupt and ruin it momentarily. Other times, however, the sun comes out, it rains and the sky is colored. It can all happen in one day.
By this we mean that when we do not cross the wall for fear of what lies behind, the view does not change. We waste time and the clouds don't stop, they go beyond any wall. For this reason, if we don't want to get wet, we have to bring an umbrella with us. And if we don't have an umbrella, let's enjoy the rain.
“Don't look at the clock. Do what he does. He keeps going. "